Lately, I read a post of our lovely Zee, over at LifeConfusions, who is back after a long break. She had to deal with a lot of difficulties but she made it. What attracted my attention was a paragraph about her being fooled and terribly disappointed by others. A lot of people came to my mind who gave their last for someone who took that all for granted or who used them deliberately.
OK, we need to learn not to just trust everyone at first sight and if the same person played a false game again we should let them play it alone. But sometimes you can have a really good feeling about someone and you are open to giving them second chances. Unfortunately, there are people out there who don’t care for other people’s feelings but only for their own benefits. Those people don’t understand that they have a responsibility when they have other people’s trust or even their hearts. Perhaps they even feel overwhelmed when someone opens up to them. Then again there are those who simply don’t care who only look for their own benefit. If they find someone willing to fulfill their needs they take it gladly but of course, this is not mutual even when nice words are said.
As we know, we see the world the way we are and good-hearted people believe in the good of others. The worse it is when they are waking up one day and seeing that someone only played with them and that spoken or even written words were empty shells and never meant. It breaks their hearts but what is even worse is that through their open-hearted way they may experience this more often and in the end they are blaming themselves for everything and the fight against themselves begins.
And this holds good for any relationship. The ones to whom the relationship means more drift into a dependency and do everything to get back to the point where they once were or what they believed there was. They are questioning themselves, their actions, their attitudes, their whole being that something must be wrong with them and bury themselves in self-accusations. They are begging for answers in order to make it all up again – but they are rejected. They lose self-esteem and start hiding their hearts because they don’t want to be hurt anymore. But since this is not who they are they feel torn apart inside. What is an important lesson to learn and insight to gain is that not the fooled one has to be cleared out but the fool!
It is necessary to step back and look at the situation from a distance. Only when the fooled one realizes that it is not a bad attitude to have an open heart but to abuse open hearts the healing can begin. Never feel bad because you trusted. It is the person who had bad intentions even though they would never confess it.
Don’t expect an apology, you won’t get it.
Don’t expect them to understand, they won’t.
Don’t drift into resentments, they only harm you.
Don’t ever think how unfair it is because one thing is for sure: They fight the bigger fight.
You can detach from such people and slowly get back to who you are. But imagine how isolated they must feel when they never let someone into their hearts but push them away constantly for what reason ever. They are the real victim because, in the end, it is all coming back to them.
Free yourself from the dependency of a toxic relationship, send them love, and then never look back. Those people don’t matter in your life. In detaching and leaving the disappointments and scars with the cause you become free for those who do matter! Stay open minded and you will see soon so many good things coming your way. Just turn your face towards the sun.
In Love and Light