We don’t know how other people feel about certain circumstances. Even if we do it for the best we can still be completely wrong. The way I experience something is unique and no matter how challenging it is for me can be handled even easier by others. Feeling sorry for someone who goes through a time which seems difficult for me can cause me to suppose it is difficult for the other one too. But is it really? And if it is, is it the same difficult? If I believe so then I make that other person’s problem my problem and I may care in a way which can become uncomfortable for them. Perhaps that difficult situation that person is in was caused by a decision I made and feeling guilty about it makes me overcaring. I may try to make something up which is not even desired. What happens then? One possibility is that the other one reacts offended or angry and pushes me away. Or they see why I am doing it and play the game. But that may be an even bigger burden for them since they take responsibility for my reaction in order to take my feelings of guilt and make my problem theirs! Double the burden for them and consequently again for me. So instead of making a situation better for someone, I make it even worse. Isn’t it crazy, how mutually complicated we can make our lives? But what shall we do now? Shall we ignore how others may feel? Shall we ignore our own sense of compassion? No, not at all! But I think we should consider whether we do it for them or actually… for ourselves! If possible we should talk to the other one, ask them how they feel, if they are fine with what we do, or if they even feel suffocated by the way we care. Feeling guilty makes the handling of the consequences of a difficult decision even harder. It weakens where we actually need strength. We should actually feel our own power, enjoy, and inhale that power. We should look back and see how far we have come and that all we did was only a step forward and never back. We should take that power of our own growth and grant everybody to make their own steps while we are still there to catch them if they tend to stumble. This post was inspired by my thoughts if I was tending to be an overprotective mother since all of my kids are more or less grown. I did not think I was, but still, I am a mom. I want them to always feel it but not to suffocate them. I am glad that they are absolutely fine with how I handle everything. I leave them their freedom to spread their wings and support their flights but also always provide a nest where they can rest their wings.
In Love and Light