I suppose… and My Life Gets Complicated

5731600-Miguel-Ruiz-Quote-Don-t-make-assumptions-Find-the-courage-to-ask.jpgWe don’t know how other people feel about certain circumstances. Even if we do it for the best we can still be completely wrong. The way I experience something is unique and no matter how challenging it is for me can be handled even easier by others. Feeling sorry for someone who goes through a time which seems difficult for me can cause me to suppose it is difficult for the other one too. But is it really? And if it is, is it the same difficult? If I believe so then I make that other person’s problem my problem and I may care in a way which can become uncomfortable for them. Perhaps that difficult situation that person is in was caused by a decision I made and feeling guilty about it makes me overcaring. I may try to make something up which is not even desired. quote-i-release-all-feelings-of-worry-and-guilt-throughout-life-the-two-most-futile-emotions-wayne-dyer-86-72-06.jpgWhat happens then? One possibility is that the other one reacts offended or angry and pushes me away. Or they see why I am doing it and play the game. But that may be an even bigger burden for them since they take responsibility for my reaction in order to take my feelings of guilt and make my problem theirs! Double the burden for them and consequently again for me. So instead of making a situation better for someone, I make it even worse. Isn’t it crazy, how mutually complicated we can make our lives? dalailama1.jpgBut what shall we do now? Shall we ignore how others may feel? Shall we ignore our own sense of compassion? No, not at all! But I think we should consider whether we do it for them or actually… for ourselves! If possible we should talk to the other one, ask them how they feel, if they are fine with what we do, or if they even feel suffocated by the way we care. Sometimes-The-Hardest-Thing-Quotes.jpgFeeling guilty makes the handling of the consequences of a difficult decision even harder. It weakens where we actually need strength. We should actually feel our own power, enjoy, and inhale that power. We should look back and see how far we have come and that all we did was only a step forward and never back. We should take that power of our own growth and grant everybody to make their own steps while we are still there to catch them if they tend to stumble. Dec14_2015_Before_July_2013_quote_two_things_to_give_our_children_roots_wings_featured.jpgThis post was inspired by my thoughts if I was tending to be an overprotective mother since all of my kids are more or less grown. I did not think I was, but still, I am a mom. I want them to always feel it but not to suffocate them. I am glad that they are absolutely fine with how I handle everything. I leave them their freedom to spread their wings and support their flights but also always provide a nest where they can rest their wings.

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27 Comments

I have a situation in my life that no matter what I say or do when this person becomes irate, does not make a difference. My lesson in all this complicated mess called relationships on Earth, is to remain detached and to know with certainty that the problem is not about me. So many times we intuit or absorb what others are doing and make it about ourselves. So many times this is not true and we automatically jump to the guilt as well. Boy I have done that more often than not. I’m learning not to think that everything is about me. LOL great post, Eric! Well written and well thought out. I applaud you! 👏👏👏

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I think this is something we will encounter throughout our lifetime but hopefully we are getting better in looking at it from a higher perspective – detatched but loving. The closer those people are the more difficult it is. Most of all when for example I cause a difficult situation for them which they have no control over but need to find a way to deal with it. As you said… so easy to jump to the guilt and make everything worse than it is.
Thank you very much for taking the time and reading, Amy. I know you have a lot on your plate. Big hugs for you 🤗

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Hi, Kally! So good to see you. I am glad it spoke to you. Thank you very much fort this feedback. This topic was something that accompanied me for a while and I think that is why I was able to convey it this way.
I hope you are doing good, Kally 😊

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I’m doing much better these days. But it has been crazy with some of the major projects coming my way and the little one being sick. I hope you are doing much better than I am!

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Sometimes it seems that everything is coming together. I am glad that you are through the worst. Thank you, I am good too. I am also dealing better with my private situation (separated) but there is still a mountain to climb. But when I made it till here I’ll make it everywhere 😄

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Sometime we step on people’s toes while trying to help them stay in the right direction. It is intentional but could be perceived to be intentional. Give space when space is needed and have space within when it is needed.

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