WHY Do We Fear To Succeed?

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Before my break, I wrote about being entitled to be selfish and to put things at rest when life developed and changed. Last week I wrote how feelings of guilt can make a situation more complicated than necessary for everybody. Since I did not have much time to write a post on the weekend I dug into my archive and found this one which I wrote more than 2 years ago. When I read through it I was amazed, how perfectly it combines both topics and adds even more perspectives on both.

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We don’t necessarily fear it most to fail but more when our dreams unexpectedly start to come true. We have been waiting, longing, working for something that felt like a deep wish for us and all of a sudden the first signs of development show up. Or perhaps suddenly things simply fall into place magically and you find yourself in front of a door that is already wide open and you only need to take that one last step over the threshold. But that one last step can become the hardest and most difficult one.

Why – after all that waiting and all that effort we invested – are we getting so insecure and even scared about taking that step? There can be many reasons:

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  • Very often, we need to leave something behind in order to start something new. It may be a matter of time. Sometimes in order to start a new life, we need to leave people behind, relationships. For example, a separation you are convinced of would be the right thing can also mean that you have limited time with your children. When you are moving somewhere it can be hard to leave the place you spent all your life and you might leave family and friends behind too. Perhaps you need to leave a job behind you loved for starting a dream job that came your way. Leaving something behind can be a tough challenge.
  • Another reason why we so often hesitate to grab an obvious chance is also that we don’t know how it will turn out. It is that unknown territory. There is no experience yet. Fear shows up that perhaps we have overestimated our abilities and we fear to fail. But only because we have no experience doesn’t mean it won’t work. We simply need to learn it. And the best way to do so is to simply move on the same way we got to that point: in riding on the river of our passion, remaining in the shine of our goal and following the light our soul sent out.
  • But in my opinion, the biggest reason why we become fearful is that we have to take responsibility for the consequences which are known or unknown waiting behind that magic door. If we are not used to taking responsibility and all of a sudden we are in an exposed position (people listen to us, people are watching us, people trust us, people question us) that definitely scares! But the fact is, that we did take responsibility before too. We were simply not aware of it. Us remaining in the unsatisfying comfort zone previously was in our responsibility too.
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After all the encouragement and motivation to go for your chances there is something very important I want to point out: Never take a chance only because you feel obliged to do so. Only because you started something doesn’t mean you have to stick with it forever. It definitely is not a sign of failure. When you don’t feel it anymore then stop. It can be that when you are standing at the crossroads that you turn around and go back. Perhaps all of a sudden you see that what you would leave behind is not worth the adventure of the new. Or you feel so uncomfortable with the new situation that it overwhelms you. Or you feel not ready to take the responsibility for all the consequences that might come along with your decision. And you know what? It is OK! There is a reason for everything that happens and everything that happens is OK! As I wrote in previous posts, whatever decision you make will be the right decision. It will definitely lead you to the place you are meant to be. Sometimes saying No to a chance that opens up was the actual purpose of the journey to that particular point. Perhaps you needed to find out how important it is what you have. And even if you say: “I am too scared.” It is OK! The insight you gained from it gives you exactly that boost of growth you needed. And often it needs a lot more strength to stand tall for a No than to keep up the Yes path.

All that you learned on that journey was important and nothing is ever in vain. There is only one thing that doesn’t change: The responsibility for your decision! Because either way, the consequences are yours to deal with.

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So, however, you decide, back yourself up stand tall for your decision. Listen to yourself! Don’t let others tell you how to decide and don’t let anybody make you feel guilty however you decide. It is your responsibility and up to you to deal with the consequences. It is your life! You are the only one standing in your shoes! No matter why and how you decide, make it within the glow of your soul and all will be well. Perhaps you cannot see it now, but you might clearly feel it!

In Love and Light

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Author, Poetess, Singer, Mom, Life Explorer, Business Woman, Therapist Remember who you really are and conquer the world the way you always wanted!

32 Comments

Erika I am so pleased you dug around inside your archives my friend.. Such a super read and one I think many of us can relate to. Sometimes we have to push that inbuilt fear to one side and TRUST with a capital T. That when we begin to honour and follow our intuitive side and follow our heart and not just our heads, its leading us along the right path..
I found when I did not listen to my heart, when my head got in the way.. that is when things often became more difficult..
I so agree with you about never taking a chance because of feeling obligated.. I know I have often felt obliged to accept something, I was not feeling comfortable with within my working life..
We all of us have an inbuilt gut reaction.. I have found when we learn to be intuitive and follow our instincts they will usually lead us where we are meant to be..
All detours as I call them mean we often can get lost along the way, but all roads lead us home.. Some are just more rugged roads while others are smooth..
But each road takes us on a journey we were meant to travel..

Always love your deep insights dear Erika. Lovely to catch just a few of your posts this afternoon..

Love and Blessings..
Sue ❤

Liked by 1 person

It is a resposte and I scheduled it about 4 weeks ago. It is interesting that I find myself at exactly that place these days when my gut clearly speaks to me and my mind tells me to think twice and how to act in order that I don’t act disrespectful or unfair. But I know exactly which way to go and I am at that point where I feel a lot of self-esteem inside to walk along the path that feeling shows me. It amazing to find the power within to say no or to make my position clear once I am clear about it myself!
Thank you for your always so appreciated comment, Sue. A blessing to talk to you 💖

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Yes, the gut feeling is a signal of our inner compass. I know what to do and it feels good even though it will be tough. But nobody ever said that the right way is the easy one…

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Exactly, we need to be able to stand behind our decisions. Only that way, we’re ready to bear the consequences. Take the time you need for a decision- even the grass will not grow faster if you pull on it …

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Thank you so much, Nico! I am happy you think so. It can be so difficult to follow your own path when others are pointing in several different directions. But in the end, only our own path leads home.

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Yes, some decisions are so profound but in the end, it is the individual who has to deal with the consequences and therefore we mustn’t let us talk into something we don’t really feel. Thank you, Beth!

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