Am I selfish to be selfish?

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How far do our obligations go regarding keeping up with activities and services we once started? Life changes, our circumstances change, situations change, attitudes, change, priorities change… heck, we change! Although, from an impartial point of view, there is no question that it is clear to adjust parts of our lives to changes in our lives. But why can it be so hard to pull it through?

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What I write now is an example which inspired me for writing this post: When I started blogging, I only had my little therapy practice and my family and household to take care of. I was able to write books and go for campaigns which led to my blog. Only until 3 years ago I was on WordPress several times a day and fostered my author accounts on Facebook and Twitter too. I had my regular posts going (which were more than today) and in addition posted spontaneously almost daily. I kept up with all comments, with reading every single post of my WP friends, and I commented on each one. But then I had to start taking responsibility for myself and my life, I went for an additional job which expanded over the past two years, and moved into an apartment. The past few weeks got busier and busier for me. When I come home from work in the evening there are lots of things to get done and organized. There wasn’t even a thought of looking at WordPress and even less on any other social media platform. Also, my weekends are busy with attending events. I still tried to fit in my WP time. But honestly, at 10 pm I am not feeling like it anymore.

Bildergebnis für life is change quotes

It is only the internet, isn’t it? No, it’s not. Like many of you, I am blogging in order to give something. I want to serve in a way to make others feel better or find a way to feel better. I felt unappreciative for the chance to do so and for making my lovely blog family think I wouldn’t care. I also don’t want to appear respectless in not reading the posts of my friends. And so I put myself under pressure to keep this all up. Over the time I had to find ways to limit my regular posts which I can only write and schedule on the weekends.

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But I am only one person and I had to learn this. I regret that I am not as present as I used to be and I don’t want to disappoint anyone but the precedence of my duties and activities changed with my changed life situation. I decided to spend more time with and for my kids who are and will always be the center of my life – no matter how old they are. Second is my job which I make a living of. It is not a piece of cake being a compliance officer for asset managers, most of all when the field is so completely new. The responsibility is very high too and so can be the pressure. When I come home in the evening, and getting my things done, I don’t want to stress myself with the thought that I MUST go to my blog. I want some time for myself, for calming down. So, that is the reason why I haven’t been here a lot. I don’t feel like explaining and apologizing because I am fully aware and grant everyone to care for their lives and for themselves first. I know that my creativity would burn out if I forced myself to only squeeze things in without being there with my heart.

Bildergebnis für sometimes you need to be selfish quotes

Now, what I want to say with this is: It is wonderful to start something and we should never stop starting something in order to expand our inner being into the outside world. Whatever we do widens and stretches ourselves in many ways and directions. But often, starting something new means limiting or finishing something else. We cannot collect and collect and collect. At one point our bag is full and we should throw something out or we break down under its weight.
Life changes and life goes on and it does this all in accordance to our development. If we forced ourselves to stick with each and everything we once did we would get stuck in our development. This again leads to frustration and discontentment. Never keep yourself from beginning something new which seems to arrive as a natural consequence of your own development. Even though you might have to limit other parts of your life or to even put some things at rest, it doesn’t mean it is dead. There may be a time when you can open the drawer again and take it out or you reach a point where you combine what you are doing with what you once did. Nothing you ever did is in vain. Nothing! Because everything is a stepping stone on your path and leads to new places. All you ever did is part of you and whenever necessary you can pull it out again.

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We can truly be our own worst enemy. Don’t suffocate the joy and passion for what you do only because you try to keep something up at all costs. Either find ways to keep it up in a different way or lay it aside for a while. Otherwise, you won’t do yourself a favor. You come first. Only a relaxed mind in alignment with a purposeful heart will bring the fulfilling results you want for yourself and for your projects. When you see that what used to be fun turns into a stressing duty then reorder things in your life. It is not selfish at all to make sure you feel good. In the end, the pressure we feel is the pressure we put on ourselves. No one can put any pressure on us if we don’t let them.

Enjoy life and whatever comes from there will be for everybody’s favor!

Credits: Quotefancy|marcandangel.com|andthenwesaved.com|quotesnew.com|graemefranks.com|lorensworld.com

In Love and Light

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Author, Poetess, Singer, Mom, Life Explorer, Business Woman, Therapist Remember who you really are and conquer the world the way you always wanted!

65 Comments

Oh so loved reading this Erika.. and its time I think that many of us here at WP are all gearing up to enter Self more.. We truly have neglected SELF for so long as we oblige others and feel obligated in various things..
It is far from being selfish and like you have stepped back to concentrate upon things that need attention including my Inner Self.. And I am so pleased, I did..
I feel lighter, brighter of Spirit and I have nurtured my inner spark back into meditation.. Just BEing in the NOW and Moment doing as I please..
So you keep on doing what feels right for you Erika.. Its time to BE.. Enjoy your NOW.. for its all we have..

LOVE and Blessings and again a great read.. Many thanks for sharing your thoughts, Its time now for us to start on our inner selves..
Love Sue ❤

Liked by 1 person

Exactly, it is far from being selfish only because we are so used to oblige ourselves to something others would never demand from us. Let’s enjoy the moment, live in the moment, and gain all the power from it. Only that holds the quality fills us so much that we can share it. Lots of love to you, dear Sue 💖

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Very wise and similar to what I am going through, I find that I enjoy blog-land better when I am not feeling obligated to do anything, and I have the time and inclination to either share something or to read some of my favorite blogs (of which yours in one!). Glad to hear about your job and apartment xx

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Thank you, Vonita! It is funny, that we often meet here when we experience similarities in our lives. This priority setting gets lost when we are in our daily lives but comes up from time to time when all our projects catch up with the new things that enter our lives. Sending you the biggest hugs and I appreciate your kind words a lot, dear friend 😊💖

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Like you I’m finding I have less and less time for the things I enjoy. There’s a fine line between pushing yourself to do something you enjoy and over pushing and making yourself miserable. We all have to look after ourselves and we shouldn’t feel bad for doing so. Keep smiling 🙂

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Absolutely, Simon. Sometimes we need to set limits to some things in order to make room to others. But we must never limit those things which give us energy for those who take it from us.

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This concept in energy we see from is something I’ve been introduced to in the last few days and it’s something interesting to realise.
I need to work out what the things that give me energy are…

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Thank you Erika… That’s very kind.
I’ll explain it in the post but it’s interesting to see where I think I am, where I am and what behaviours I and others draw energy from.

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This post really interested me, Erika. I read a lot of posts like this where blogging takes over people’s lives and they have to get in control of it. I also work full time and have two children. I try to visit everyone once a week and read a couple of their posts. I know I can’t read them all and I don’t even try to. I feel I still have good blogging friends and there is a balance. Life is firstly meant to be lived and enjoyed, isn’t it?

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It definitely is. We often forget it when we feel obliged to “fulfill”. I thought this was a good example because most of the readers are bloggers and therefore undestand what I mean with “not making ourselves a slave of our own projects. I admire you how you manage everything, Robbie!

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