Be The Wind And Not The Boat!

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I often wrote about the fact that how we present ourselves our surrounding will answer. Lately, I had a discussion with my youngest son about receiving respect and being taken serious by others. As teenagers, there is a lot to cope with, like the changes that happen to your body and at the same time to your developing confused mind. Then there is the growing pressure of school and the decisions what to do after (school, apprenticeship,…) which goes along with the challenge of getting a place. A lot of pressure that life brings naturally.

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And then there is the homemade pressure like the competition under each other: who is the coolest, who is the smartest? This again results in offending each other. At one point, it was one offense too much and the one who is not able to bear it anymore freaks out or is deeply hurt. On the outside, they appear cool and sublime but in fact, it is very painful for and still, they try to stand tall and keep trying to top their counterpart… until that last straw breaks the camel’s back. Crazy how we torture ourselves!

quote-posters_16561-1.pngThis is definitely not a particular teenager problem. Don’t we all want to be respected for who we are? Don’t we all want to be taken serious without fighting for it? Often it seems impossible when we have to deal with people in our family or at work who don’t care about that need but only enjoy being on top of everyone and making others feel smaller just because they can! I even dare to say that they mostly don’t do it on purpose. It happens naturally because the others try to get more respect in joining the game of the dominant persons which provokes them to keep up their behavior.

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If we want respect we need to play our own game. Every action causes a reaction. If we are not happy with the reaction of our counterpart we need to change our own actions and reactions. I said to my son, if you want to stop your brother in telling you how dumb you are, then stop telling him how dumb he is or he will keep up proving that you are dumber! And unfortunately, rhetoric and finding arguments are his strength. So you won’t win that battle. Instead, make him a compliment and see what happens next. There is nothing he will say against it AND why should he say something mean to you since you said something honestly nice to him? That way you take the wind out of his sails.

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If you want to be respected, then respect others. If you want to be taken serious, then take others serious. When everyone is used to those “games” for a long time already and they happen reflexively, it might take a little. But it has an effect from the first moment on. When we keep up our changed attitude and react differently or don’t react at all a change will happen. The funny thing is that the other one might not even notice that the wind blows fchange.

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If we notice people bothering us over and over again, it doesn’t make sense to act like they do and at the same time hope that they will stop their behavior. Either we tell them (as I said, often they don’t mean it because they didn’t notice that their behavior is offending) and/or we work the switches in sending out different signals. In the end, who is the winner? The one who adjusts the sails or the one who blows into them?

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In Love and Light

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Author, Poetess, Singer, Mom, Life Explorer, Business Woman, Therapist Remember who you really are and conquer the world the way you always wanted!

25 Comments

I think this is one of the essential breakthroughs someone can have in life. The realization that I AM! And once I respect the “I” I understand what respecting a person in all their individuality means! Sometimes it needs decades until we get there. But one we did, we can never go back! Something inside us has changed…. right? 😉

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That is great step of development to stand tall for ourselves because it helps no one if we are one more copy. Right, in the end, if someone shows no respect it is their problem to deal with it. They simply don’t get the meaning behind us!
Thank you very much!!

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Another very wise post from you Erika, whether we be in our teens or later years, Respect is the fundamental key both with our fellow humans as well as within Nature.
Teenagers and our younger generation in general come under so much pressure these days both by their friends and academic schooling. They compete to become the best, be in in their school work, sports, or keeping up with the latest fashions, Pressure is piled high and they can soon find themselves swamped and bogged down..
So it is easy for them when wanting to be liked and join in groups, to blend into attitudes others are projecting.
Learning to stand up for yourself respect often gets forfeited to be part of the crowd. I know as a teenager myself I joined in with friends, even when I felt uncomfortable with their behaviours as they drank and smoked and pushed me to do the same.. So learning to distance ourselves from being taken on their ‘Ride’ and becoming the ‘Wind’ beneath our own sails is often a difficult path when we are the ones walking it.

I loved the K Reeves quote, about Karma, and Cause and Effect.. Ultimately we create our own experiences . If we all just stepped back a little, and realised the impact of our actions, and that each action has a reaction, We might all of us stop and think with a little more respect.. And if we all treated each other as we ourselves wished to be treated, the world would indeed be a brighter place.

A deep insightful post Erika.. I always love to read your deeper thoughts my friend As I wish you a wonderful start to a new week… In love and ‘respect’ 🙂
Hugs Sue ❤ ❤ ❤

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And I always love and am very much touched by the way you comment, Sue! Your compassionate way of looking at this (and everything) is a blessing for everyone.
Yes, it happens too easy to just give in and be one of many in the crowd just in order to be in (seemingly) peace. But in the end, it is the actual war that starts within because we are fighting what wants to be lived. It is a huge insight and breakthrough to leave the pale shell behind and shine our own colors to the world. It is already a huge step to realize that we are colorful and entitled to spread the color! As you, I have been there too. But I was lucky with my friends. At least there I could more be who I was… or who I thought I was.
Thank you so much again and love and respect to you too, my dearest friend 💖💖💖

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🙂 always my pleasure to ready your wisdom Erika.. My friends in my early teens were not that great.. Which was mainly why I became a bit of loner.. but it also came with its cost of depression, which stemmed from that feeling of unworthiness we have spoken of before.
So your post a great reminder to all who read to find that inner strength and voice to be all you wish to be. 🙂 ❤

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It can be so isolating and I the problem is that for a long time those people don’t even realize that they can (and are allowed) to change something – I was one of them. The prison takes the breath! But how amazing to break that misunderstanding.
We really have a lot in common, also similar experiences in our past.
Thank you so much for sharing this with me/us, dear friend 💖

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