Who But I Is Entitled To Tell Me Who To Be?

waynedyer1-2x.jpgEverybody has their dark spots, their quirks, their challenges, their achievements, their successes, their joys, and their weak spots. Some people act in their quirks and with that can hit another person’s weak spot. Sometimes it is not even easy to say what exactly it was that brought inner turmoil to the other one. It may be a change in the energy of the counterpart which makes the said things feel differently. And maybe only those two persons feel it. Now, what to do? Read more ›

Be The Wind And Not The Boat!

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I often wrote about the fact that how we present ourselves our surrounding will answer. Lately, I had a discussion with my youngest son about receiving respect and being taken serious by others. As teenagers, there is a lot to cope with, like the changes that happen to your body and at the same time to your developing confused mind. Then there is the growing pressure of school and the decisions what to do after (school, apprenticeship,…) which goes along with the challenge of getting a place. A lot of pressure that life brings naturally.

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And then there is the homemade pressure like the competition under each other: who is the coolest, who is the smartest? This again results in offending each other. At one point, it was one offense too much and the one who is not able to bear it anymore freaks out or is deeply hurt. On the outside, they appear cool and sublime but in fact, it is very painful for and still, they try to stand tall and keep trying to top their counterpart… until that last straw breaks the camel’s back. Crazy how we torture ourselves!

quote-posters_16561-1.pngThis is definitely not a particular teenager problem. Don’t we all want to be respected for who we are? Don’t we all want to be taken serious without fighting for it? Often it seems impossible when we have to deal with people in our family or at work who don’t care about that need but only enjoy being on top of everyone and making others feel smaller just because they can! I even dare to say that they mostly don’t do it on purpose. It happens naturally because the others try to get more respect in joining the game of the dominant persons which provokes them to keep up their behavior.

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If we want respect we need to play our own game. Every action causes a reaction. If we are not happy with the reaction of our counterpart we need to change our own actions and reactions. I said to my son, if you want to stop your brother in telling you how dumb you are, then stop telling him how dumb he is or he will keep up proving that you are dumber! And unfortunately, rhetoric and finding arguments are his strength. So you won’t win that battle. Instead, make him a compliment and see what happens next. There is nothing he will say against it AND why should he say something mean to you since you said something honestly nice to him? That way you take the wind out of his sails.

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If you want to be respected, then respect others. If you want to be taken serious, then take others serious. When everyone is used to those “games” for a long time already and they happen reflexively, it might take a little. But it has an effect from the first moment on. When we keep up our changed attitude and react differently or don’t react at all a change will happen. The funny thing is that the other one might not even notice that the wind blows fchange.

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If we notice people bothering us over and over again, it doesn’t make sense to act like they do and at the same time hope that they will stop their behavior. Either we tell them (as I said, often they don’t mean it because they didn’t notice that their behavior is offending) and/or we work the switches in sending out different signals. In the end, who is the winner? The one who adjusts the sails or the one who blows into them?

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In Love and Light

Reincarnation and Karma

Whenever people talk about karma they usually mean something bad, that follows and bothers them. If someone has to suffer from a bad disease, is bad lucky all the time or even “struck by fate” some people explain it with “bad karma”. They see it like a punishment of something caused in a former life and now the person has to face it again and again. Some also talk about “good karma” which means you get rewarded for the good things you did in a former life. Read more ›

Reincarnation and Karma

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Whenever people talk about karma they usually mean something bad, that follows and bothers them. If someone has to suffer from a bad disease, is bad lucky all the time or even “struck by fate” some people explain it with “bad karma”. They see it like a punishment of something caused in a former life and now the person has to face it again and again. Some also talk about “good karma” which means you get rewarded for the good things you did in a former life.

I believe neither in good nor in bad karma. And neither are we punished in any life for anything we did in a former life. As I wrote in my former post “What is the reason we incarnate?”, we incarnate because we want to experience ourselves in a physical body with all it comes with. We learn much better in the world of opposites and we want to practice what we already know in theory. That’s why we come here. For each lifetime we set some certain goals we want to reach, certain experiences we want to make and certain lessons we want to learn. If we did not finish something in one incarnation it is still on our To-Do-list. But what we want to check off our list is always up to us. When we plan our next incarnation we chose what we want to deal with from that list, what we want to experience new and what we postpone for another incarnation. We already had so many life times. We can impossibly include all unfinished or nonsatisfying projects in one single life time.

Whatever we have to go through in a physical life is our choice. I have to be more specific: We choose the goal and the experience. But how we reach these goals and experiences is up to us and depends on how we walk through life. This is also my way of explaining fate and destiny. Fate is the  goal or experience we set for an incarnation. It will happen and everything will be done for us to reach it – we cannot change it, once incarnated. Destiny is the way we deal with life, our attitudes and therefore how we reach our goals and what we make of our experiences – this is up to us within an incarnation and part of our life’s journey.

For our incarnation we also chose our parents, children, our friends and all the people who play important roles. Although we don’t chose everything what happens in our life deliberately it is a part of helping us reaching our goals anyway. Everything is put in a perfect order and therefore one event is serving several incarnated souls.

On example is the sudden death of my father. My father died unexpectedly at the age of 65. My mom has had to deal with the loss, to get her life reorganized and everything he left back. I an my sisters lost our father, his grandkids lost their grandpa. It influenced the employees of his company. The ones had to look for another job, the others had to deal with a different way of leadership. It influenced everybody my father was in touch with and all of them had to embed his death in their lives in a different way. But everybody learned and developed something of it which was meant right for this person. We don’t have control over anything than our thoughts and feelings which makes us act and react in a certain way. Therefore we need things to happen which we cannot control. They are keeping our development in motion. Without them we would get stuck and not be able to develop certain abilities or characteristics which are necessary to reach the goals on behalf of which we have incarnated. We don’t (want to) understand it when life is challenging us. But knowing that everything happens for a reason makes it easier to face and walk through the situation in order to find out what’s the blessing behind.

Being here is not a punishment. It is the opportunity to experience a physical life. We only have problems to accept it once we are in this physical body. But before and after we realize that it is not our real existence and that nothing can ever harm us. We even get the opportunity to come back again and again – and we do it! When a woman wants children, her focus lies on the child in first place and not on the pregnancy or birth. When it comes to birth of course she thinks she would never ever get pregnant anymore. But once the child is born and some time has passed, labor pain is not the central subject anymore but the joy of the new family member. It is the same when we plan another incarnation. It is the greater context, the experience, the high after the low, the light after the dark, the love after the isolation.

I am so happy to be here and I enjoy every moment in its being. I am happy that I have the chance to make this life the best one ever!

In Love and Light!

 

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