We all are always to discover our potentials, the limitations we set, our abilities, our higher and personal purposes. With everything we see and experience, that journey continues. We find inspiration, pass so many lessons, we feel the joy of life and encounter its challenges. Life can become a routine.
This routine begins in childhood. A child is taught principals, traditions, certain opinions, ways to live life. The more often and the more intensive a child is confronted with the same messages, the more it takes it over into its thinking pattern. Over time, it becomes a part of the belief system. When something is part of the belief system then we identify with it. Everything we think, do, and experience, is defined by that belief system. As long as we don’t realize that this belief system was programmed and can be reprogrammed, we are prisoners of a scheme we were put in.
Here we are with the actual challenge. Something inside of us may not feel right and uncomfortable. And due to being not aware, we resign and say: “That’s how I am. I am shy. I am anxious. I am not smart enough. I am unforgiving. I am insecure. I am clumsy. I am getting angry quickly. I will never be…”. Those are not excuses. It is a belief, and that is the actual problem. Because the difficulty is not to get the journey started, it is to realize that there is a journey to be started.
When I was a young mother with three children, I wanted to make it all perfect. I was taught to be perfect. I was told my whole life how to be a good and valuable person. If I did not follow those commandments, I was rebuked and told that something is wrong with me. So, as a child, you believe it because you don’t know it any better. As a teenager and young adult, you are to discover your own personality. But once those rules are overshadowing that process, you miss that chance, and you begin to identify with someone you have to be instead of being who you feel to be – the beginning of your personal inner war. I was a very strict mom. Everything was well planned, and there were daily schedules. I wanted to do this really well. Because of that pressure, I put on myself to fulfill those “expectations” I was a lot more overwhelmed than necessary. I was so sorry because I realized that the little ones could not even understand what I asked from them, and I said to myself that this had to change. But the next day, I was following those patterns again – until the moment when my feelings of guilt were about to eat me up. I could not identify with that attitude anymore. I realized that the pattern I was following uncompromisingly when even unhappily, were not part of me. And if they are not part of me, then I don’t need to hold on to them. It was the little beginning of a big journey. My little kids were leading me to my personal liberty.
Many of us experienced that for a long time it was not even considered that we are allowed to or are able to be whoever we want to be. We must not blame ourselves that we are using excuses for not changing. Very often it is simply the curse of the pattern itself that we cannot see it that there is a journey to be started. But the following openly the path will lead us to awareness.
Thank you, Anthony, of WrithtOfMight, for the inspiration to this post.
In Love and Light