So often we don’t start a project because we are afraid of failing. We are afraid of being questioned even before we started or before a result is shown. We are afraid of being criticised about how we do it or even THAT we do it. We are afraid that people are making fun of us because we are doing something they might have never dared to do themselves. Or we are afraid because our project also means showing a part of us which we kept hidden for a long. But there comes a time when all those fears are not strong enough anymore to keep us from going for our dream. They cannot keep us from stepping out of our comfort zone anymore. We are full of excitement and enthusiasm and yes, we try it with all our heart and passion. And then it happens…. the door opens up!
Many of you know that only a few years back I would have never dared to talk in front of people, to share my own thoughts, to stand tall for what I believe in even when no one else believed in it. I would have never dared to say something at all without checking before if there are at least some who may agree with what I say. Otherwise, I said nothing at all. Then I had my breakthrough 9 years back. I only need to think of that moment and my eyes get watery because I will never forget that feeling of breaking down the highest walls of my prison.
Here I was, standing in my full light. That light made me see immediately where my path led and I started writing I’m Free – Awareness of Who You Are by Discovering Who You Are Not. I did not know nor did I want to think too far ahead if that book would ever be published. But deep inside I knew exactly that this is my path. I was on and the destination I headed towards. After I was done with the manuscript, had given it to others for proofreading, and worked over it again, I felt ready to try something that felt simply impossible to me only 2 years before. I dialed the number of a publisher in order to ask if I may send them some excerpts. They accepted and I was … full of fear!
(Ok, this one is not really in context with the next paragraph
but it was just too funny not to add…😄)
Was I afraid that they wouldn’t like it? That crazy thing about it is: No, not at all! I was terrified that they would love it. The light definitely illuminated my path. It showed me all the things that are now coming my way and I felt overwhelmed in both positive and fearful ways. Can I handle this all? I could be taken serious but I was not used to it. I might have to speak about all the things I believe in and what I saw as blessings in life for everyone. But was I ready to do so? I have always dreamed about it but….. HELP…. it works out!!! I felt like losing control over the developments. I think that what scared the hell out of me was the instant realization that I have to take responsibility for my opinions and words.
Thanks to my ego pride (yes, the ego can be very helpful) there was no way back… I had given myself a promise to never ever return to my old prison. And that means that I need to let my light shine in order to see the path… step by step! As you know, in the end, they accepted and my blog only exists because of the English version which was published two years after the release of the German book. Meanwhile, I have given several lectures, have written for newspapers and several live interviews on the radio in a language which isn’t even my mother tongue.
Did get used to my light? No, not at all! It feels as if I am discovering it every day anew. The same happened again when I applied for a job next to my self-employment. Had I ever expected that my humble occupation at the reception desk would develop into becoming a member of the management with much more responsibilities and into working in a completely new field within only one year? I am in that position now for a year. There were times when I thought I cannot do this anymore. The pressure of getting into everything, the responsibility, being in charge of things I did not feel ready for… this stressed me totally at times. But I remembered what I wrote above. Today I am still facing things which challenge me but not that much anymore and many things have become a routine. I am proud of myself that I did not give in. And it encourages and confirms me again to take chances and see where they take me.
Sometimes we go for something and don’t really consider to work it out. We do it in order to grant our soul its peace because then we can say that “at least I tried”. Even bigger is the surprise (or the shock) when it works. And it scares a bit more because we feel mentally unprepared. Nothing stays the same anymore. But when things are going smoothly then it is the proof that it is your path and your time – whether your mind understands or not.
When we are not used to the brightness of our light we can be shocked and scared by its immense creative power. The light that we are is pure creative energy. When we let our light shine and only then take action we are on our path and that path will always – all life long – lead to new places. Because we are meant to grow. We are meant to evolve. We are meant to LIVE! It is ok, to be irritated by your light because it is the most amazing power and it is even living within you. But never be scared of it. Trust, that it will always illuminate the path your soul chose way before it came into this body in order to fulfill its plan and give your life the sense and meaning you long for. Your soul is nothing else but a piece of the Almighty.
So when you let your light shine, God shines through you.
That is what the world needs so badly.
In Love and Light