All the people who know me and my books, know that I say: Follow your heart, listen to your inner voice, and live your dream! I just remembered an episode in my life which made me think about the phrases above. I still believe in them and I still live them, but they are holding a risk when you lose contact with yourSelf. If you start following your dreams only because you think: “I bring to an end what I began” then you could make yourSelf a slave of your vision.
When I was a teenager I saw myself sitting in a TV show being interviewed by someone. I also wanted to be a famous pop singer. Also when I was 14 years of age I felt a big empathy I wanted to help others to activate their happiness and potential. In my mid-thirties, when my youngest child was 2 years old, I felt a flame glowing, saying: The time has come to follow a new purpose. I knew it wasn’t a new purpose but something that by then had already spread its roots. But what was there lying inside of me? Somehow I was afraid to look too deep into it. Because when I found out, I might have to do things I never did before. And that scared me. I still was full of self-doubt and the opinion of others about my person had more weight than what I felt about myself. Deep down I knew who I am. But that did not correspond with the comments of other important people in my life. Since I did not dare to stand behind myself and my opinion that was totally confusing. I was afraid, that if I followed my inner call which started to get louder, I might get criticized or even laughed at.
The flame grew bigger and I started to take a little first step. I did research and found lots of interesting education like Homoeopathy, Kinesiology, Aromatherapy, Metamorphose, Reincarnationtherapy, and lots more. So where to start…? I also had to keep in mind that I still have a family of five to take care of (at that time my kids were 2, 5, and 9) a house, and a big garden. Some educations were very expensive and took several years of intense work. That was too much! I was overwhelmed.
Was I only too scared of doing something new or was it simply not time yet for a big project? I was so confused: on one hand, I felt a new task waiting for me, combined with my pride of wanting to show others my flexibility and abilities, and on the other hand the fear and also the stress I felt crawling up my chest and taking my breath.
Although at that moment I did not know anything about any spiritual laws, I stopped and got still for a moment. In a natural reflex, I asked mySelf: What shall I do, what feels good to me? All of a sudden I fell in a state of total inner peace and I knew that I wouldn’t take this new path now. I realized that again I was about to do something for the approval of my surrounding. Yes, I had this dream, this yearning but I didn’t feel ready at all to go for it with all its consequences. First of all, I wanted to be a mother and take the time for my kids, make a nest for my family and care for them. I did not want them to be with babysitters or me to be too busy to be with them. I truly knew that this time it wasn’t an escape but a knowing that at the moment it is not yet my purpose to go big. When I realized that I made a decision for mySelf and for my surrounding I felt so strong, so liberated and so clear about myself.
But nevertheless, I did start … in a different way. Since I already had a name as a singer, I started to force that which was in perfect harmony with my husband’s schedule. Within the following 2 to 3 years I joined some weekend seminars, made the 1st and 2nd grade of Reiki, and became a Spiritual Healer. I went to lectures and read tons of books about self-development and spirituality.
Today, another 6 years later, I have a practice for Aromatherapy and Self-development, wrote 4 books, work on my first CD, speak in front of audiences, and had interviews on radios and on television. I am realizing my teenage visions! Without knowing I was listening to my soul. I did not question if I should follow my dream (as I used to), but which way I shall do it. I did it my way, according to the way it fits into my life and with the speed I wanted.
It was important to always check back with my soul, which step to take and how fast I shall move on. The journey I had to go through first was the important part to lose my fear and my self-doubt. It was important to collect information, experience, and knowledge. All the little steps prepared me to fill my backpack with all the tools I needed.
It is not (always) about the destination but first and foremost about the path you choose to walk towards a destination. And it is important to walk it your way, no matter how many u-turns or stops you make. It all is part of your personal journey to your personal evolution. Your life is your creation. What techniques do you use and how much time do you need or want is exactly matching with who you are. No one but you can judge it.
Yes, follow your heart, listen to your inner voice, and live your dream! But always in alignment with yourSelf! I promise: This way you will succeed in perfection!
In Love and Light