This post was inspired by a post of a friend I read last week. It was about the problem of accepting compliments. I had a lot of problems accepting compliments until I was 39. I was convinced I wasn’t worth nice words. Yes, everybody is worth nice words… but not me.
That is right the problem. We don’t feel worth it. At the same time, we are so focused on ourselves that we miss the motivation of the other person who wanted to be nice and show appreciation for what they see in us. But we kill their lovely gesture and even show them that we don’t appreciate it. Feels not nice for the other one. As a result, we might get fewer compliments. In the end, we feel confirmed that we are not worth nice words. But it is only the result of our behavior. The funny thing is that we start striving for appreciation, recognition, and approval. We are fishing for compliments in a very arduous and stressful way. We might even start doing things we don’t even want to only to impress others and get our approval.
But since we don’t do those things because it comes from ourselves we still don’t feel worth it. What we do is not part of ourselves, but a desperate try to be seen.
Lacking self-love! The mother of addictions, crimes, depression, anxieties, victimhood … and so much more.
Self-love doesn’t mean being selfish. Absolutely not! Self-love means being happy about this individual being I am. Being grateful for the opportunity to BE. Being curious about myself and checking out what there is inside of me in order to fill and feel this life. Self-love is being one with the power of creation.
When we love ourselves we are good to ourselves – to our bodies. We start caring for it because we want to feel good within and not in order to fit into a picture of society. When we love ourselves we don’t need any plastic surgeries. We see every wrinkle in our faces as a visible sign of our journey through this lifetime. The funny thing is: When we love ourselves we will even have fewer wrinkles. Our face is relaxed, our body healthy from within and we look younger, fresher, and happier. This all brings our body in balance again – in a healthy balance. Spaces get cleared and in the same way, as diseases are created by disharmony we heal ourselves through this inner harmony.
When we love ourselves, we know that happiness is not an emotion but a state of being. Happiness is an aspect of love and goes along with it inseparably. Happiness is the carpet we are walking on when we go through our challenges. It keeps our head over water and is the fluorescent strip on the floor that leads us safely through the dark cloud.
When we love ourselves we are tolerant towards others. We don’t take ourselves too seriously anymore. We know that we are not perfect and right that makes us kind of perfect. We accept mistakes as part of our growth and therefore we forgive everyone their mistakes. We don’t even need to forgive anything because we don’t see them as mistakes anymore. It is everybody’s personal path. We even don’t take things personally anymore.
When we love ourselves we liberate a creative and unlimited power in ourselves that only love is able to. Only then we can spread tolerance, acceptance, happiness, motivation, charisma, zest for life, encouragement, … LOVE… and we will get it all back.
When we love ourselves we are able to love from our heart and not from a need to be loved. What we give will flow back because we always align with the same energy we send out. Therefore we will receive appreciation, respect, approval, and compliments (and the compliments we make are getting different energy as well)! The interesting thing is, that we will kindly accept what we get. But not because we need the confirmation in order to feel better… no, because we get a sign that we really seem to love ourselves.
In Love and Light!
I just came across your great Blog and Follow you now! Please feel free to stop by my Blog anytime I would love to see you there! This is a great and interesting post I really enjoyed reading! Thank you…
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Ciao Carolina! Nice to meet you! Thank you so much for your lovely and honoring words, and for following me. As you may have seen, it is a pleasure for me to follow you back. I lover your shining smile on your picture. You spread so much joy with it. You truly love what you do, don’t you? I am looking forward to sharing our thoughts from now on. Bug hugs to you, Carolina! ❤
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Ciao Erika! Thank you for all your nice compliments it is very sweet of you! Thank you for following me back I am really happy that you did! I am looking forward to sharing our thoughts! I came across your Blog commenting on Wilson todays post and you were above me I did like your comment to him and now here we are isn’t it great! BTW yes I love what I do in anyway that I am able to express my creativity! Hugs feel free to leave me a line on my blog anytime now we are connected see you soon! 🙂
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That is the magic of WP, isn’t it? The possibilities of getting connected are amazing! We always find new friends over comments, awards, suggestions… I love it! See you soon 😊
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I love that too! It is so great!
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Btw. You are my 550th follower! Congrats!!! 😀
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Congratz Erika for the 550 followers wow! I am happy to be the milestone one…
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Yep, I thought I just had to tell you your special number 😃
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Yes thank you for letting me know! I am happy that I came across your Blog just at the right time! 🙂
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Glad you “were meant” to meet me 😊
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Interestingly, the commandment to love our neighbors as ourselves (Leviticus 19:18) assumes that we love ourselves.
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Thank you, Mitch! Yes, absolutely! In the end everything start with outselves…
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This is exactly what I believe in. Lovely, beautiful and wonderful<3
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It simply is a fact that we need to love ourselves in order to make other people feel our love! Thank you so much for your wonderful words, Isabella 😀
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Yes, that is so true:D Have you seen Brene Brown? She has this wonderful TedTalk on the subject.
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No, I don’t know about her! But I think this is a basic matter during a breakthrough process!
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Yes, I agree. I think it is lovely that a lot of people are spreading this message because: There is really only one way to eat an elephant, one piece at a time. Together we can make big changes.
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Haha… what an example! But that hits the nail on the head!
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Haha … Yes it is a bit odd example, but I could not come up with a better one. I heard it in the documentary I am.
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People definitely get the meaning…. lol
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haha … yes they do:)
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😊
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Wow I needed to read this 🙂
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Wow, I am so happy it spoke to you in the right moment! That’s the reason I love to write what I write. Have a wonderful day, Izza!
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you too erika ❤
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😊
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We cannot serve others by losing ourselves. We can by being ourselves. Love is to give and share but make sure that we have something to share. That thing has been already with us but it needs us to search and appreciated inside ourselves.
This post is worth to be shared! Thank you..
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That was very lovely expressed, Jade! Thank you! Yes, we can only give what we have… or what we allow ourselves to give…
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Love yourself enough so that you cannot love others “enough” 😉
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Wow, Jade!!! May I quote you? That would make a wonderful Daily Kind Quote. Of course I would mention you as the Source! May I?
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You are welcomed. Glad that this quote help you 🙂 Lets share it. 😉
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It’s a great one! I already stored it… hehe! You will see it when it is published. I just scheduled the quotes for next week so it might be in two weeks.
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Enjoy sharing it 😉
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I do 😀
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Reblogged this on CELONA'S BLOG and commented:
I would completely relate to this..
Thanks for sharing dear.
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You said it all hun..
This took away words to even compliment you on this post..
Great longread, I could completely relate to this..
Thanks for sharing.
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You are so very welcome, Charles! I am so glad the post spoke to you! Blessings to you, Charles! 🙂
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Thanks dear. 🙂
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My upbringing included stressing modesty, which in this context meant deflecting compliments – with a smile of course. Then there is the ever present humility which, again, can make acceptance of compliments uncomfortable. I could not accept compliments (because there was always room for improvement + modesty + humility) until around my 40’s. It was then that, for many reasons, I became much more comfortable with who I was. In the past I totally supported others in their ventures with compliments ……. but to receive was difficult. The simple revelation was the converse of treating people the way that I would like to be treated. I now allowed myself to be treated the way I treat others!
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That is an amazing comment, Colin. Because this is exactly what I experienced. I spread compliments all over but was not able to accept them for myself….until I was 40. So funny! Of course a compliment is not a truth. It is a subjective perception someone expresses. But right that makes it so unique. I love to touch and inspire people. A compliment regarding that confirms that what I want to spread seems to arrive. Thank you so much for sharing your experience. I always appreciate your comments, Colin! 🙂
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Well thank you for that ………… compliment. May I suggest that your Post was extremely well presented and clearly stimulated thoughts on the topic. Well done! 🙂
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Oh, that’s such an important information for me, Colin. Since English is not my first language and I always think to a little to explaining or even complicated that is so good to hear. Thank you!!!
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You have to love yourself first to try realsie that there is something loveable within youthat others will like too!
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That’s exactly the point, Ritu! As long as we are embarrassed by ourselves we hide our light and make it impossible for others to see and cherish.
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True!
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🙂
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