… but how I react is mine! – Dr. Wayne W. Dyer
I have to admit that I was raised very strictly and I was supposed to fulfill certain expectations. Also, I was bullied when I was 9 until the age of 11. I did not understand why others were treating me that way and why who I am was not sufficient. Behind my wall, I felt secure … but also lonely!
In my mid-30s I got sick of feeling so isolated. When I slowly started my journey I tried to look at myself, at the people around me, and life itself from an observing distance. That way I detached myself from the identification of the opinion, approval, offending but also compliments of others. I understood that everything someone says is totally subjective and results from the way that person thinks, feels, likes hates, and experienced life before. Through my growing self-esteem and belief in myself, I automatically did not take things personally anymore – at least not everything. I definitely saw that right because of who I am I mirrored aspects of others that they did not like about themselves or were jealous about. Out of my missing self-esteem I used to believe that something was wrong with me when people tried to convince me in not very nice manners that what they do is the ultimate truth.
When I got aware that truth is something personal I was able to free myself from the fear of not meeting other people’s expectations. I did not tie myself to their approval anymore in order to be accepted and respected. But I did not do it in an angry or insurgent way. No, this insight made me spread so much peace inside of me. I realized that I have been always free of other people’s need to make me something. It is simply none of my business. And it is up to me whether I agree or disagree. Who shall keep me from feeling and thinking what I decide to think or feel? Everybody is entitled to live from the perception of his or her life. That makes them react in an equivalent way. What encounters them in the outside world are the button pushers of their inner bucket list.
I made peace with people however they treated me in the past because I truly know that it was generated from their own state of mind. How can I ever take it personally when it is their world? And how shall they understand my world? We don’t need to understand other people’s worlds but the fact that every world is unique!
I learned to forgive! But I learned an even more important lesson: I learned that there is nothing to forgive. Everybody does what he or she thinks is right. The best we all can do is, to do what we think is right! And I am grateful for the people who challenged me the most because their affection for me made me grow and lead me to the point I am today! I had to walk through a dark valley before I understood. But once I did, the liberation and personal growth resulted in a firework of liberation!
Of course, I am still a human being, that can be stinky, nasty, ironic, angry, and sad… and I don’t want to miss that at all ;-)! Life is a game. Let’s play it with all we are and let others take over their part in our life in order to help us reach the next level.
So how others treat me, is their path! Now it is up to my state of mind and my world how I react … if I react at all! It is my path, what I make of happenings and encounters. The consequence of my reaction is the next development in my life. It is up to me – always!
In Love and Light!