Allowing the Strength of Being Weak

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For today I decided to pick a card from Dennis Linn’s Gateway Oracle Cards. I love those cards since they are like nailing messages to show the way out of a maze. The card I picked is “Accepting What Is”:

Wow, that stroke a cord. For about a week before writing this post (which is two weeks ago), I have had difficulties with some past happenings surfacing. They opened up old wounds and have held me tightly in its fist of emotions. It comes down to not being able to let the past pass and to forgiving. Although I thought, years ago, that I made it. But no! It doesn’t happen consciously since I am definitely not pondering what I could think of that makes me feel bad. It gets triggered by something and shows that it had not been worked out yet. The problem with that thorn sticking so deep is that I look at the present with the eyes of a past me. That draws the past into the present and keeps me from creating a different future present. Oh, and didn’t I write a few times about the healing effect of acceptance lately? I know, and still, something so deep-rooted always catches up again and surprises me by wrapping me in a cloud which takes my orientation and dims the view.

So, yes, this card is more than timely and shows the profound effect of accepting again. Accepting what was (I cannot change it anyway), accepting what is (it inspires my creativity), but most of all accepting of who I was and who I am in this moment. Accepting, that I don’t need to be ashamed of not standing up for myself, that I don’t need to feel worthless when I could not make people listen, that I don’t need to fall into despair because I have still not made it to escape those claws. Accepting that I might not have worked on the healing, but (although thinking I did) tried to leave the past behind by turning away. Accepting, that this is my chance, now, that the feelings are so challenging and reminding me to take the bull by the horns and let myself fall deep into it – no matter how long it may take or how others react. Finally, silencing the ego and allowing myself to be “weak” by keeping this gate open for letting the poison come off eventually. It needs to be to not stumble over those hurdles on my way repeatedly to let my potential flow into all the things I want to achieve.

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I am not writing this because I feel so sorry for myself or because I want anybody to feel sorry for me. That’s of no use and would only be counterproductive. I do it because I want to encourage you not to misunderstand yourself which happens so easily. We think we found “it”. We think we got the clue. We think we know the way. Sometimes we may be right, but only when we do feel this truth. As long as we only “think” we made it, it has not happened. Yes, it is important to make a conscious decision. But it is more than just saying I decide to accept. Because what we need to decide is accepting the journey to acceptance. I wasn’t aware of it. And I don’t know how long it will take and how many places I have to travel until I can forgive those who hurt me completely eventually – or to forgive myself completely, that I kept me in that prison.

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So, what I want to say with this post is:
Be very patient with yourself. Don’t expect too much too fast from yourself. Don’t think you are so strong because then you tend to ignore the feelings that need to be felt. It needs so much more strength to let them happen that is already part of the necessary insight and deep healing. The path to healing and forgiving is so individual. It is individual for each person, and the several paths to healing in one person are individual.

There is no right or wrong.
There is only a going along and see where it takes you.
There is only acceptance of embracing yourself by taking the challenge.
There is only acceptance.

In Love and Light

About the Author

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The purpose of my blog is to inspire and shine a light on the beauty and power of the wonderful being inside your body. You came into this world to share what only you can give. Remember who you really are, conquer the world the way you always wanted to, and become the blessing to us all that you were meant to be.

48 Comments

IT takes courage to admit our old wounds are still not fully healed.. So many times upon my own journey I too have thought I had dealt with all the hidden pain… and yet like you something comes along and triggers something from the past and we allow the memory of the hurt to surface and we start to feel that pain all over again..
I think right now within our world.. So much pain now is being released both internally and externally.. As we witness what is occurring world wide..

We are being asked to go within once more and dig out that which we no longer need and does not serve us.. We are being shown that as hard as this ‘Lesson’ may seem right now on our Earth plane.. We are needing to let go, and in acceptance go with the flow..

We may not as yet see where that may lead us… But if we fight that flow, it’s like a current in the ocean, we will get exhausted swimming against the tide.. Much better to save our energy, float and see where it takes us… We feel alone….. drifting along, each wave washes over us swamping us in its emotional waters….
But if we but still ourselves… We see safety lies ahead….
We are in that phase right now…. All fighting … blaming, and feeling those old wounds.. Likewise, I too felt that old wound open of unworthiness…
We are being tested yet again…
I know we are winning though dear friend… Because we no recognise the signs.. We are speaking up and talking out and speaking from our hearts..
We are no longer the silent ones.. No longer do we cower in the shadows of being a victim…

We now stand up, and speak out.. we have become warriors dear Erika…
Holding our lights high….

Your card speaks volumes Accepting What is…… because it is what it is…. ❤ ❤ ❤

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Right! The time of sitting and letting tings happen while resigning and believing we cannot do anything about it are over! Everybody becomes more and more aware that they are responsible for their own happiness and what they make of their lives. In the process the realization grows that the responsibility is interconnected. What I do to others, I do to me, what i do to me, I do to others. And such a big part is the insight that past present and future are so linked to each other in the process of development. We need to look at what happened in order to use the insight. Pushing back only makes the problem bigger.

Thank you so much for taking the time for reading and leaving such an amazing comment. Much love to you 💖

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Always a pleasure Erika.. and I have missed reading your wisdom my friend…. I am juggling like you so much at the moment.. and the pull of Nature is strong as growing season starting again… My heart is still not held the techno world… But I need to get some things said and I as yet am not sure how to say them… But words are coming in poems and maybe that is the way to go right now……. So much Divide is being created right now… But that too is all part of the process… And I am ready to flow along with it…
Love and huge hugs dearest Friend.. ❤

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I see it like you, Sue. I think this is the big test too for those who are actually trying to connect and teaching togetherness. The oppositions again at work. Many need to experience the consequences to understand the importance of unity. These times are the perfect instrument which teaches in a quick way actually. So, let’s stay on track and let the process happen while awaiting the healing effect. Thank you so much and loving hugs to you 💖

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What an inspiring post, Erika. I loved what you said about being patient with ourselves. We are our own worst critics and often require more of ourselves than we do of anyone else. Thank you for the reminder to slow down and love who we are!

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Yes, we can be so hard on ourselves and that is what keeps us from actually reaching the point on the other side. Thank you for putting this in your own wonderful words, Jan 💖

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Your post is divinely delivered for me my dear. I am reborn Maria Teresa, no longer Ladysag77. I ended my almost 8 year relationship with my partner, it’s time for him to grow on his own path. The topic of strength is so fascinating to me since most people believe allowing feelings shows weakness when in reality it’s just the opposite. When we can be who we are, shine our light bright in shadow and light, live alive with an open heart in this world…..boy, that takes strength and courage! It’s in the adaptability to the constant influx of changes we are all always feeling where strength is honed. I often hear people saying, I wish that hadn’t happened or I should have done…..it’s not what is. Facing what is propels us forwards. Staying in flow and balance. Breath is life💗

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I love how you said that. Yes, it is exactly the opposite happening. The seeming weakness only takes us closer to the core of who we are and that is what makes the strength grow. We are more authentic and pure. No distraction that dims the light and energy.
I am glad you found the way for you and your partner to grow in your own ways. Also that needs strength.
Thank you very much, Maria, and let’s breathe deeply 💖

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As I deeply breathe, I release what no longer serves. I will be writing a post today about my rebirth and the fact that I left my 8 year relationship over the weekend. It’s an act of detaching with love so that he may grow stronger. Hurts like hell because he is my soul mate but we are on different levels right now. Nothing but love for this journey. He has to find his way to his own soul.

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Great post Erika, it is a conundrum when we think we have gone through something but it persists. It has always amazed me when I think I have faced something or I help someone through a tough time, especially those deep rooted fears we have, that down the track it will bob up again to test you. But this is important or how would we realise how far we have gone through it and got past their effects upon us.
In the beginning as children those effects on us are quite profound and usually block us from looking, but as we live our lives we are put into those situations where as adults we can ‘feel’ our way through them.
And as time goes by, and only if we are resolving the issue, its effects become less and less. And I think because we can actually feel that its power over us is weakening, only then does our confidence grow and allows us to truly let it go. The greatest thing in resolving these fears is to understand ‘why’ we have them in place, hence the travel back through time to feel and see us again as children and what actually happened to bind us in those fears. Understand that and we are free. Understanding something…anything…and you let it go because you have understood it.
And they are lifetime things because it takes quite a while to resolve their impacts on us, especially with their resulting loss of love and rejection. We bind them pretty tightly in so many ways, it does take a little unwinding. But our understanding of us and the resulting ‘let go’ of those conditions that bind us will allow us to understand and finally see what we are here for…the unconditional love that is silently waiting within us to see once we remove the conditions of fears we wrap our lives in…and in doing so we appreciate what we have endured to find us…and finally understand and accept who and what we are. And yes, it is very hard, but we are so worth it 😀 ❤️ 🙏🏽 🦋

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We can only generate inner strength and stability when we let go of all the weakening aspects. But therefore we need to have a sense of strength already to let them surface and leave. You described the process so well from childhood to adulthood and how we repeatedly get confronted in order to prove to ourselves how much we already achieved. You said something so important: In letting go of all those conditions that keep us from accepting we reveal the being that we are and its nature (love). Thank you so much for your wonderful and detailed comment, Mark. I appreciate it so much 💖

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