About ten days ago, I had a wonderful conversation about unconditional love with Mark of HealingFromWithin. I invite you to read his post about An Unconditional Dilemma. Often we meet people to whom we want to give ourselves completely. They may be in a bad place, desperate, lost, beaten by life. For some reason, there is a sudden connection, a strong attraction, and a deep need to help them heal their soul. Sometimes the encounters happen in such a magical way that you would give a movie a bad rating for being too unrealistic. However, from the first moment on, everything indicates that there must be a higher purpose behind it.
Things go their way and the person gets back on their feet. You may even feel more connected because you both touched a very sensitive part of each other: Trust. In your mind and heart, you may even develop an image beyond your wildest dreams. Maybe this is the ultimate happiness you have always been looking for. But then things begin to serve their true purpose.
We can never find happiness in another person. Another person can only inspire and teach us to find it within ourselves. The person may be sincerely grateful and also feel a deep soul connection. But once the healing has taken place, fate will continue the actual plan. The person feels strong again to conquer life themselves. They go back to their own life, return to their social life with newfound energy and zest for life. Their path is no longer yours. For a while, you still walk on parallel paths, but suddenly those paths can begin to drift apart. One day you find that what you saw in that particular connection seems to be falling apart. You begin to question, to ponder, to doubt. You are deeply disappointed and feel a great emptiness. You feel cheated by life.
It may be that the purpose of this union was never to spend the rest of your life as a couple or closest friends. There may have been so much more to it. But you had to expect something else to be motivated to go the distance. You may have thought that you were selflessly doing everything just for the sake of the other person. But deep inside, you expected something in return, like love, friendship, happiness. Even though these were understandable and by no means ignoble expectations and hopes, they still were expectations. Then, when you don’t receive what you desired, the conditionality behind it reveals itself. Whatever you then try to do to find an explanation or reverse the trend only leads to more pain. You realize that you cannot stop the train that you see leaving the station. Eventually, all you want to do is let go of the pain and find your inner peace. After a while, you understand that there is only one way to heal your heart. During this process, when the pain is at its worst, you will take a step back and look at everything from a distance. Suddenly, a thousand light bulbs will light up in your head, and the greater context reveals: You can only heal when you become unconditional.
Your task was to give healing.
The person’s task was to teach you unconditional love.
In that moment of realization, you are free.
The only purpose of love is to love.
Whatever happens from then on has permanence.
In Love and Light