… stronger than ever before!

I apologize for the short notice of the disappearance. There was some turmoil in my private life from one moment to another. The old story about letting go. I will tell you about my experience after A Big Thank You to all of you. I am so moved by how much you all cared. I had never ever expected that. Although I closed the comment section on my last post on Monday many of my wonderful friends sensed something and simply commented in the loveliest ways on a different post. Colleen, Ritu, Zee, and Michelle even stayed in touch with me via email. One year ago almost nobody knew me and today people say I was missed and they make the effort to get in touch with me in order to show me that I am loved… that was overwhelming! I am profoundly touched by so much love, compassion, and care. I don’t know how to thank you. I love you all from the deepest bottom of my heart! And believe me, I missed you all badly! My community rocks!!!

Now here is what I want to share with you:

On Monday I faced the fact that I had to kiss a beautiful dream goodbye. A dream that simply fell into place as the biggest gift a while ago. But it was not meant to be and on Monday I knew I finally had to let go which was sad but liberating too since I struggled with it for quite a while. On Tuesday I decided to read on in my Dyer book Change Your Thoughts – Change Your Life.  It was the perfect time to grab that book and – as I was convinced – it was the perfect chapter to read. The book is about 81 verses of the Tao Te Ching. Chapter 20 says Living without Striving. I’d like to quote an important paragraph that might be helpful and healing for many:

Practice letting goes of thoughts about what’s not here now:
Just allow yourself to meld into the perfection of the universe you live in. You don’t need another thing to be happy; it’s all being provided for you right here, right now. Be in this moment, and free yourself of striving for something more or someone else. This is a mental exercise that will put you in touch with the peace of the Tao. Affirm: It is all perfect. God’s love is everywhere and forgets no one. I trust in this force to guide me, and I am not allowing my ego to enter now. Notice how free you feel when you relax into this no-fears, no-worries attitude.

I repeated I trust this force to guide me again and again and I felt like being embraced by someone or something. Tears were running down my face but this time those tears were a stream of everything that was overdue to let go. It was a peaceful and healing crying which comforted me with every tear that left my eyes. I felt a deep peace and love while just letting this all happen. Then I read on and Dyer wrote about Let Go and Let God. I repeated those words slowly over and over. The more I repeated them the deeper the meaning and the bigger the effect.

Let go……………. and let God.
Let go…………….. and let God.
Let go……………. and let God.
Let go…………….. and let God.
Let go……………. and let God.
Let go…………….. and let God.

Let go – and I let my broken dreams fly………….. let God – and I handed them over to a higher force. There is no pain anymore, no hurt, no anger, no frustration. What has been left is a clear view toward a new chapter to be written and gratitude. Gratitude for what was, gratitude and appreciation for the person who forced me to go through it. The most insightful lessons come from the most beautiful souls. Soul mates who provide themselves for our growth.

In Neale Donald Walsch’s children’s book, The Little Soul And The Sun a friendly soul agrees to teach the little soul an important lesson during its incarnation. That friendly soul asked the little soul for a favor: “At the moment that I strike you and smite you,” the Friendly Soul replied, “at the moment that I do the worst to you that you could possibly imagine ~ in that very moment…” “Yes?” the Little Soul interrupted, “yes…?” “Remember Who I Really Am.”

If someone forces you to face a big challenge and pain in your life, pause a moment, step back, and see the supporting angel in that person. Perhaps that person struggles her-/himself with their decisions toward us. But they agreed to support our way before we came here. Try to see the world not only through your own eyes. If you do, you won’t ever be able to understand others. And when you are not understood then because the other person is not able or willing to look through your eyes. But that doesn’t mean there is something wrong with you. There are many reasons why people act and react the way they do. Again: We are all individuals with individual histories, purposes, and life plans. But we all are there to teach each other in order to experience what we planned to experience before we came into this body. Let’s always remember what God said to the little soul at the end of the book:

“Always remember,” God had smiled, “I have sent you nothing but angels.”

A Process of Becoming

The bullet that left a shattered heart
Was hard pain when it hit me.
Looking at all the mess around
Made me break down and weep.

But after the tears had dried again
I looked at every single shard.
Some were old and dirty
Some were shiny and pure art.

I brushed the dirty ones all clean
And cleared out what was overdue.
I looked at how they would fit right now
And put them altogether new.

With this newly established heart
A new day can begin.
What was will never be forgotten,
It forced the growth – was not in vain.

The shards are all my memories
Which made me who I am.
Don’t want to miss a single one
I’d do it all again.

Whatever might look like an ending,
Is never meant that way.
The night may look dark and so scary
But there’s always another day.

We need silence and the darkness
To focus on our light.
‘Cause we are like the dawning sun
After a cold dark night.

The bullet helped me to evolve,
To bring the process to an end.
That’s why the one who shot the bullet,
Has now become another friend.

In Love and Light!