Control is an Illusion!

Life happens while we are making other plans.

I like this quote a lot. We are making plans for our nearer or further future, scheduling our days and then things happen which can change everything in an instant. The weather changes, someone gets sick, the job gets lost, accidents happen, or even more life-impacting things.  We have no control over what happens around us. This is something we can be scared of or something that can even give us relief because we can let go of the pressure to keep everything under control.

There are so many reasons, why happens, and what happens. I believe that everybody has an individual plan in their lives. A plan that includes several destinations, encounters, experiences, lessons, and achievements,… That is why we all have different dreams and callings within us. Because what we feel inside is our soul talking to us. I also believe that all that happens – really everything – happens for a reason and is meant to be. It can happen because it shall help us to not lose the path or because it is even part of our path.

Then again we can be affected by the life plans of others. We are all connected and what happens to one of us is making waves. When my father died it not only ended his physical life, it changed the life of my mother, my whole family, but also his company, the people who worked there, the people who worked together with him and his company….. waves, waves, waves. And everybody involved created waves the way they dealt with it. Whatever we do every day creates waves, and affects others who cause their own waves which again affect others.

Now we come to something important: Co-Creation. The really big things that happen in this world and affect our lives are happening through co-creation. Energy creates ripples. More of the same energy creates bigger ripples. The more people are infected by a particular thought or feeling, the more concentration is on that, the more of the same energy is radiated, and the more likely something related to that will happen – in the positive as in the negative.

Many people feel betrayed by life when things happen around us which destroy their plans or dreams. My best friend’s mother died in a car accident when he was 1 1/2 years of age. He felt betrayed by life and God that he wasn’t granted a mother but a mean stepmother who really treated him badly. But it was in his mom’s plan to die early and then again in his plan. That sounds hard, I know! But the universe doesn’t fail! That is what we can definitely believe in. We will never be smarter than the universe which always connects everything in a much greater context. It links all life plans to one another. One life plan supports another. It is like a toothed wheel. What one causes helps another one to evolve and their reaction again affects others. So whatever the meaning behind the death of my best friend’s mother was, it led him on his path.

One of the biggest challenges in our lives is physical or mental disabilities – may it be from birth or happening later through diseases or accidents. It is tougher than tough when the plan we made for our life is changed by life itself. I want to point out the many wonderful, empowering, motivating, and encouraging people, who faced the most challenging experiences and developed something that makes the world stand in awe: Temple Grandin was diagnosed with a heavy form of autism at the age of 4. She is a professor at Colorado State University and a bestselling author. Aron Ralston (127 Hours) amputated his underarm by himself in order to survive and only 10 months later he started climbing mountains again. There are people told that they can never ever move again from their necks downwards, but they are walking again. And now look at our Nick Verron. He got a 10-inch screwdriver rammed into his temple only 6 years ago. It was said that he can consider himself happy to have the mentality of a 2-year-old. Today he is blogging and telling his story. Because he said: I REFUSE TO LOSE.

What is the sense behind arguing with what happens in life, arguing with God, arguing with what other people did and cannot be undone? Whatever happens in life makes us act in a certain way, makes us develop or discover something within us we wouldn’t have without that happening. We can only do something from what is and not from what is not. Otherwise, it only soaks energy from us and keeps us from dealing with what is.

Even if life throws you on your back, take that moment of lying down to think about what to make of it. It may be hard, but it may look impossible and overwhelming in the beginning. But as long as you can breathe there is no end. We have a chance every day to make the seemingly impossible possible. If others can do it, so can you! And once you start there will doors open up and hands will be reached. Wherever you set your mind to is the reality you are manifesting in your life – step by step!

It doesn’t make things better to complain about what happened. But it makes sense to reconstruct the bricks, to choose a different path, to ask for help, or sometimes to simply make peace with what happened. And this is the deeper meaning behind everything that happens in life. It forces us to evolve!

We cannot control life, but we can always control ourselves and how we deal with life.

In Love and Light


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Erika's avatar

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The purpose of my blog is to inspire and shine a light on the beauty and power of the wonderful being inside your body. You came into this world to share what only you can give. Remember who you really are, conquer the world the way you always wanted to, and become the blessing to us all that you were meant to be.

70 Comments

It is a tough lesson to learn and a liberation at the same time. Also that blaming ohters is simply of no use. The responsibility to move on and make something out of life is always up to everyone themselves. You said that wonderfully: “We need to live, learn and go on, no matter what…” Thank you, Irene! 🙂

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Yes, that’s the point, Irene! That is mostly the challenge for them to learn to take responsibility but also to feel the liberation in realizing that they are not depending on others that way.

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You echo my beliefs here, Erika. Love this post. Every tragedy, every bad thing has produced positive results in my life. And I am forever grateful for the lessons. Maybe my favorite post of yours, ever. Bravo .

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Oh, Van! Your comment brought tears to my eyes. Thank you for that confirmation. I experienced so much the same. I am so happy this spoke so much to you! Big hugs and much love to you, dear friend! 💖

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… and how we deal with life. This is so thoughtful Erika. I was looking at it from a broader level and connecting it with the incredible way people have responded to the Chennai disaster. My own team members tell us examples of how help is pouring in from all walks of life. People are learning to make the best out of what limited resources they have – courage, empathy and goodwill.

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That is amazing what you write here and it gives me goose bumps. Sometimes I think the less we have, the more we make out of what we have. Also the help that is given like a wave of light is so amazing. There is darkness, tragedy, and violence in this world…. but also so much light and love. Thank you so much for this insightful comment, Prajakta!

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