Control is an Illusion!

Life happens while we are making other plans.

I like this quote a lot. We are making plans for our nearer or further future, scheduling our days and then things happen which can change everything in an instant. The weather changes, someone gets sick, the job gets lost, accidents happen, or even more life-impacting things.  We have no control over what happens around us. This is something we can be scared of or something that can even give us relief because we can let go of the pressure to keep everything under control.

There are so many reasons, why happens, and what happens. I believe that everybody has an individual plan in their lives. A plan that includes several destinations, encounters, experiences, lessons, and achievements,… That is why we all have different dreams and callings within us. Because what we feel inside is our soul talking to us. I also believe that all that happens – really everything – happens for a reason and is meant to be. It can happen because it shall help us to not lose the path or because it is even part of our path.

Then again we can be affected by the life plans of others. We are all connected and what happens to one of us is making waves. When my father died it not only ended his physical life, it changed the life of my mother, my whole family, but also his company, the people who worked there, the people who worked together with him and his company….. waves, waves, waves. And everybody involved created waves the way they dealt with it. Whatever we do every day creates waves, and affects others who cause their own waves which again affect others.

Now we come to something important: Co-Creation. The really big things that happen in this world and affect our lives are happening through co-creation. Energy creates ripples. More of the same energy creates bigger ripples. The more people are infected by a particular thought or feeling, the more concentration is on that, the more of the same energy is radiated, and the more likely something related to that will happen – in the positive as in the negative.

Many people feel betrayed by life when things happen around us which destroy their plans or dreams. My best friend’s mother died in a car accident when he was 1 1/2 years of age. He felt betrayed by life and God that he wasn’t granted a mother but a mean stepmother who really treated him badly. But it was in his mom’s plan to die early and then again in his plan. That sounds hard, I know! But the universe doesn’t fail! That is what we can definitely believe in. We will never be smarter than the universe which always connects everything in a much greater context. It links all life plans to one another. One life plan supports another. It is like a toothed wheel. What one causes helps another one to evolve and their reaction again affects others. So whatever the meaning behind the death of my best friend’s mother was, it led him on his path.

One of the biggest challenges in our lives is physical or mental disabilities – may it be from birth or happening later through diseases or accidents. It is tougher than tough when the plan we made for our life is changed by life itself. I want to point out the many wonderful, empowering, motivating, and encouraging people, who faced the most challenging experiences and developed something that makes the world stand in awe: Temple Grandin was diagnosed with a heavy form of autism at the age of 4. She is a professor at Colorado State University and a bestselling author. Aron Ralston (127 Hours) amputated his underarm by himself in order to survive and only 10 months later he started climbing mountains again. There are people told that they can never ever move again from their necks downwards, but they are walking again. And now look at our Nick Verron. He got a 10-inch screwdriver rammed into his temple only 6 years ago. It was said that he can consider himself happy to have the mentality of a 2-year-old. Today he is blogging and telling his story. Because he said: I REFUSE TO LOSE.

What is the sense behind arguing with what happens in life, arguing with God, arguing with what other people did and cannot be undone? Whatever happens in life makes us act in a certain way, makes us develop or discover something within us we wouldn’t have without that happening. We can only do something from what is and not from what is not. Otherwise, it only soaks energy from us and keeps us from dealing with what is.

Even if life throws you on your back, take that moment of lying down to think about what to make of it. It may be hard, but it may look impossible and overwhelming in the beginning. But as long as you can breathe there is no end. We have a chance every day to make the seemingly impossible possible. If others can do it, so can you! And once you start there will doors open up and hands will be reached. Wherever you set your mind to is the reality you are manifesting in your life – step by step!

It doesn’t make things better to complain about what happened. But it makes sense to reconstruct the bricks, to choose a different path, to ask for help, or sometimes to simply make peace with what happened. And this is the deeper meaning behind everything that happens in life. It forces us to evolve!

We cannot control life, but we can always control ourselves and how we deal with life.

In Love and Light

About the Author

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The purpose of my blog is to inspire and shine a light on the beauty and power of the wonderful being inside your body. You came into this world to share what only you can give. Remember who you really are, conquer the world the way you always wanted to, and become the blessing to us all that you were meant to be.


This is very encouraging. It’s odd how reading about others at this point seems hollow to my heart now. Alex said to me mom you don’t know how it feels to wake up blind. So no I don’t. But I know what it feels like to be her mom and there’s nothing I can do but just wait and pray that’s what I’m doing I’m probably more silent than I’ve ever been I think when your child suffers lifelong illness no one knows unless they’ve walked in that person’s shoes. I love all the positive motivation you shared here. It’s so true that we don’t know the pain till we actually experience it. So I think for me I think of the very first diagnoses and how we just kept going and tried to make her life somewhat normal. Each time that is what we’ve done and we will again this time. I’m happy that she has a wonderful fiancé and a good job where they are understanding. I’m proud of her that she’s attempting to drive with only one seeing eye. It’s hard to know how it all will turn out! Friday her doctor said there is damage to the optic nerve and he doesn’t want to give false hope of her seeing again! I place my hope in God only so that’s all I need as far as all of that goes I think for now! Thank you so much for sharing this! Blessings to you Erika and thank you for always being positive and motivating! I appreciate that about you! ❤ Michelle

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That is so very true. We never really know before we experience a situation ourselves. And even then nobody experiences the same way. But at least we can undertsand better. And yes, you see it from the mom’s side. A mom always suffers with her child and in some way more than the child itself.
The doctor said, he doesn’t want to give false hope but he also did not say it was impossible and Alex still seas with one eye. I keep you in my prayers that you stay strong and that everythin will turn out good, Michelle! I love you both and hug you strongly! 💖💖


AWE thank you Erika you are right she got up and drove herself to work today! She called right when we got there. I was thinking that sometimes it’s one hour at a time, and then you make it till noon, and then before you know it the day is over and we are thankful for that day and making it through. She said to me Mom my therapist said we get to choose our attitude so I’m not going to let anyone take mine I choose to believe for the best. I loved that. Made my mom heart feel better. Thank you for sending this to me it’s so good to be reminded even when it hurts I love you too! Hugs to you as well! ❤

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Your daughter is an amazing and so very strong person. Right because of her health condition she has an inner strength many healthy people don’t have. She teaches us something and we need to listen…….. that might be her purpose!!!


Oh wow I never thought of that before. I think I’ll wait to share that with her. But I have a feeling she will discover that on her own as well! I think maybe I needed to hear that! Thank you Erika!

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She goes her path straight on! She knows in her heart for sure, Michelle! You are a beautiful mom. You were picked by your daughter for her fulfilling her purpose! Big hugs, dear!


I really enjoyed your post and agreed with so much of what you said. You remind me of my daughter. I was told she would most certainly die before she was born, but in a few days she will be ten years old! Life is very challenging at times, for her and for us, but that’s not important. What’s important is that she is here. We have learned so much by having her in our lives. It would be so easy to be negative about the impact she has had on our lives, but truly, that’s not how we feel. We are very lucky. 😊

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This is one of the most beautiful examples I have heard about. We must focus on what we want and not on what we don’t want. Because no matter how things look like right now does not mean they are supposed to stay like this. Your situation has been more than challenging but you proved the doctors wrong for 10 years now! Y Thank you so much for sharing your story! It brought tears to my eyes 💖

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Such a wonderful uplifting and enlightening post Erika.. I think more and more of us now are speaking our truth and seeing the world for what it is and how best we can help it..
Many thanks for the love light you share in it.. 🙂 I came via Nick’s reblog of this post..
Blessings to you and yours
Sue ❤

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Ps please amend my typo error of your name and apologies Erlka, I need my glasses changing LOL.. 🙂 Which again comes to us perceiving what we think we see rather than what we actually SEE LOL a lesson here for me within that 🙂


Haha…. don’t ever worry at all about any typos! I am the champ of typos, Sue!!!😃 Whenever I find one I tell myself to check my comments better before sending…. no chance. Btw. I did not even notice the typo. But thank you very much for being so thoughtful 😊

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Hi Sue! Thank you so very much for stopping by. Nick is an amazing person and the perfect example and role model that nothing is set in stone or at least we can make something out of everything. Life gives us the inputs where to go to. Thank you for your wonderful comment, Sue! 😊

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Yes Nick is a true Inspiration to us all.. And he puts our lives into perspective… So nice to have connected with you today.. I see your smiles often upon posts I visit,, 🙂 and so enjoy your own positive outlook.. Love and Blessings.. to your Erika xxx

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This is a very uplifting and encouraging post. It is especially germane for those of us who have “retired” – a deadly word since this is a great time of life to take risks, do things challenging, refuse to go quietly into that good night..

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Hi Noelle! I am so happy you liked the post! Yes, that is right! I did not see it under that aspect but of course it is applicable in basically any part or period in our lives. I appreciate it a lot that you brought this up here! Thank you so much! 😊


I used to always try to plan out my life, but things always ended up happening to mess up my plans- I’ve now gotten much better at just going with the flow and letting things happen, and just being a part of the wave of life.

Incidentally my best friend’s mother died in a car accident when she was just 6 months old.

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This was such an inspirational post Erika. We need to make of our lives what we can, our own luck and happiness. Life does throw us many challenges but it is how we deal with them that makes us a stronger, better person. 🙂

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Yes, that’s exactly it, Judy! Life happens for so many reasons we don’t know and don’t understand. But complaining about it or blaming someone or something doesn’t make it better. In the end we always need to stand up and face the challenge if we want to move on. It is only about the time how long we need to get that! Thank you so much, Sis! 😘

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