Why Feeling Lonely?

There can be times in life when we feel like aliens. Like there is no one on this planet who cares for us or who is interested in who we are. Many are interested in what we do but those are the ones who may turn away as the first ones when what we do doesn’t meet their expectations. Why do we get to that point? What can be the reason – or the reasons?

First and foremost it always depends on what we feel about ourselves. What about myself do I identify with? It doesn’t matter why I do it today and what made me think and feel in a particular way about myself. It only matters how it is now. Do I actually try to meet other people’s expectations? Do I only feel worthwhile when I “did a good job”? Do I even feel obliged to fulfill the needs of others – do I see it as my purpose? If one or all of these questions is answered with Yes, then I put myself in a position where I radiate this attitude with all my words and actions. For sure not everybody will abuse it. But we attract more people who gladly use our offer to be used. We make it easy for others to use our need to feel worthwhile in making us their slaves.

But the moment will come when something within starts to rebel. That inner Me who calls out to be released from its prison to breathe some fresh air and live again. The fight starts: What voice to follow? That voice we are used to, which tells us that our right to exist only consists of receiving other people’s approval and goodwill? Or the one that wants you to detach from crawling on your knees in order to get respect and acceptance….. even love? It sounds wonderful but the tricky thing is that it will lead you to a place where you need to take responsibility for who you are. No blaming others anymore for how you feel.

Let’s get back to the slave’s voice. We will always be perceived for what we radiate. Doing everything for being respected and accepted is a clear sign that those people feel no respect for themselves at all. So, who would respect them? This must not be mixed up with serving others from a place of love. That is a huge difference. Because the ones who are serving from a place of love are feeling a high level of dignity for themselves. But the other ones show exactly that lack of dignity. Those people will be walked over constantly. There is nothing wrong with doing what others say – for example in your job. But when the voice from within starts crying and pounding on the door there is something wrong with where you are.

Here we go again, we need to feel what we want to be. We need to be what we want to become! It is a huge step to change the direction from listening to that slave’s voice to our own voice. Because as I said, all of a sudden we need to take responsibility for our actions. But only this way we are free to actually see the whole potential of possibilities we have in our lives.  Once the voice is recognized and that inner picture of being in a different place is getting bigger and brighter. The day will come when the need to break out of those isolating walls gets bigger than the fear of change.

One of the biggest reasons for not breaking those walls is that we believe we might be completely alone then. What a misunderstanding. We felt alone right because we were not ourselves! Nobody loved us for who we were because we were not visible. It was an illusion. Yes, it is a risk to make that step because it is a step into a new field. But when you liberated yourself from that prison and all of a sudden stand tall and shine – believe me – you will attract again all those people who respect, appreciate, and love you for what you shine into that world. But this time, it is not for what you do but for who you really are.

What is even more interesting, is that you might be surprised about the positive attention you get all of a sudden. Most of all because you did not even look out for the love or the approval of others anymore. Once you unlock that door you feel loved right away. It is your nature. You feel stronger, healthier, happier…. free! You accessed your life’s energy again. You feel like standing on the top of a mountain looking down and deciding what to do first. All the things you wanted to do all your life are all of a sudden playing in front of your eyes like a movie. You literally feel like newly born because you discover what life is actually about. You treat yourself differently – with dignity – and so you will treat others. Because what you do for them now you are not doing in order to get something (love and respect) in return!

Loneliness is not depending on the love of others but on the love we feel for ourselves.

In Love and Light

About the Author

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The purpose of my blog is to inspire and shine a light on the beauty and power of the wonderful being inside your body. You came into this world to share what only you can give. Remember who you really are, conquer the world the way you always wanted to, and become the blessing to us all that you were meant to be.


Oh WOW.. what an impressive enlightening post Erika.. So beautifully narrated with such wonderful quotes..
I have picked this particular sentence Erika which jumped right out at me..
” Once you unlock that door and let your inner being filling you again, you feel loved right away. It is your nature. You feel stronger, healthier, happier…. free! ”
This is so so true.. it sometimes takes us a while before we come face to face with out True selves.. but when you do unlock that door and step Within your Inner BEing and confront your true self.. And you begin to care for that Inner BEing and LOVE your Inner True self warts and all.. That feeling is overwhelmingly beautiful.. And in my poem The Answer is LOVE.. it is awesome..

Lovely post Erika.. I loved each and every word xxx ❤

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Wow, thank you, Sue! I feel that flow continuing from the post over your comment into my room here. Wonderful! Once you experienced only part of that power of your True Self you will never ever close that door again but instead open it more and more. Feeling yourself is feeling our divine origin… it is absolutly undescribable! Thank you so very much for your beautiful and heartfelt comment, Sue 💖

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So so so true, Erika! It is actually harder to pretend being a person you are not than being oneself, isn;t it? It takes too much effort and still be blinded while being true to oneself do take some effort too, but at least you get enlightened. 🙂

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It may appear easier to just conform how others want you to be. But the real you still lives and if it is not in alignment to what we are doing or thinking the inner fight starts. The problem is that the longer we are living a live like a puppet the more we are forgetting our real identity and it needs even more courage to break out and start sorting out in order to get closer again to who we really are. Yes, always being who you are would be the easiest when even not always most comfortable way! Thank you very much, Ann!

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