How often do we think back and ponder if this or that decision was right? Or we look back and consider a decision as wrong. But was it that really?
One of the big irritations when it comes to decisions is that we think we could make a wrong decision. But that can never be. Whatever decision we make is the one that fits exactly the state of consciousness we are in at that moment and the path we have to walk in order to get our lesson. Yep, and that is what we would like to avoid. We don’t want to be challenged by a lesson. Therefore we always hope to make a smart decision that keeps us from painful or tough lessons. But I can assure you, whatever decision you make you will get your lesson – this or that way. In the end, the decision is only about if you want it in green or in blue. You will be led to the stations you wanted to pass before you came into this physical life.
The good (or bad) news is that if you decide on A you will never know how B would have turned out. Once we go with A we got the direction of path A. I give you a little example: A marriage is about to fall apart.
Decision A: The couple gets divorced. Desperation in the beginning. But the break makes them clear their minds. Perhaps both find a new love and start a new and happy life. Perhaps only one does and the other one suffers even more. Perhaps the break makes them see that they still love each other and even start over.
Decision B: The couple tries to fix the marriage. Both work on it and they really make it and start over new. Perhaps they find out that there is no love anymore and they get divorced anyway after a time of frustration and pain. Perhaps one falls in love with someone new, the other one suffers and they get divorced anyway. Perhaps even both fall in love with another person and they part peacefully.
You see, both decisions still carry all options. What is meant to be will be! The important part in making decisions is, to simply decide from the place you are now, what seems right for you now. It makes no sense to ponder if any time in a not existing future this or that unfolding might take place. You have to make the decision in this very moment out of these very conditions.
It might be that looking back we would decide differently. But that doesn’t mean that the decision made back then was wrong. Because it definitely took you to the important educational steps and places you were meant to arrive. We develop and we learn – most of all through “wrong” decisions – and hopefully, we would decide differently in particular situations today. I love this sentence: We don’t make mistakes, we gain experience. Edison said: I know thousands of ways how a light bulb doesn’t work. So whatever seems a failure is only another gained knowledge.
In the end questioning decisions we made once also affects our ability to make decisions now and in the future. The doubt about the rightness of past decisions can be paralyzing or frightening. Even not making a decision is a decision. We tend to do that when we don’t want to take responsibility for the decision and rather blame others for the outcome. But that doesn’t work. It is always in our responsibility but we simply leave it up to others. I quote myself here: Making a decision means moving the circumstances. Not making a decision means being moved by the circumstances.
Don’t ever worry about making the wrong decision. Decide from the place you are now, get all the information you have, perhaps to pro and contra lists, and decide what feels better for you now. Once the decision is made and you passed the point of no return then stand behind it. See where it carries you and what might develop in your life. What is meant to be, will be – no matter what decision you made. What is not meant to be, won’t be – no matter what decision you made. It is more about the path to how we reach our destinations.
In Love and Light!
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This was a very enlightening post Erika. I understand your point about making a decision that is right for you at the time as it will be the right one to make, Life does have so many paths to choose and it is difficult for us to decide which one is the best. However, we will learn something from it whichever way we go.
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This is exactly it! We all came here with a certain plan for our life. And we will always be led towards the fulfilling of that plan. How we fulfill it is our choice. But we can never fail.
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It seems like making choices gets easier the more you make… as long as you learn from the ones that did not turn out so well. People have such a hard time with choices. I have written pros and cons down before just to try and make the best choice I could at the time with what I knew. Even then, those are not always the best choices. Great thought provoking article, Erika. ❤
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Thank you, Colleen! It is right what you say, the more decisions we make the less we are scared to do so. I think the first time we make a profound decisions and go with it is a breakgthrough experience.
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It is those decisions we make that are so bad that hurt the most. Those are the ones I remember. ❤
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Very true. The ones that we ponder the most! At one point we need to see what they made us and realize that we would have never seen aspects and abilities in ourselves withouth them…. that way it was right. Also if others were involved. They also evolved.
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This really hits home for me. I have often questioned my choices from the past (i.e. relationships, college, career, etc.) and wonder if I had made other choices if my life would be better than it is now. I really love your outlook on this. I appreciate your insight and the example of marriage to demonstrate how one might experience the same options regardless of the first initial choice. I have learned much through my struggles and my harder moments in life and though they seem horrible at the time, I am always stronger in the end. Thank you so much for this reminder that we must appreciate where we are in life and embrace it, not live with regret for what might have been.
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This is one of the most beautiful comments ever! Really! This is so heartfelt and open. Thank you for sharing your experiences and personal thoughts and feelings. It is as you say, we have to embrace life as it is now. And if we want to change something we can only do it now. Nothing in the past can be changed. But what happened in the past brought us to the point today. And from here we can decide new where we want to go. Wonderful comment. Once again thank you!
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I agree and have tried to live by this philosophy in recent years. It is always nice to be reminded and you did a beautiful job if illustrating the point. Thanks Erika!
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Thank you very, very much, Amy! Your commend means a lot to me! Through writing those posts I always have the chance to remind myself again 😉
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Yes, really it’s all about ‘no regrets’ although does anyone truly have no regrets?? It’s hard to say.
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Of course we do have. But that should not become a limitation in our actions. If we lose ourselves in regrets we are to weakened to make it better.
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Do we have regrets after a “not so good” decision? It is an interesting question and I would suggest the answer is based upon ones own perspective of life.
Do I regret being pushed into my 2nd career choice? Not really. I would have liked things to have been different but I worked hard in my eventual career and learned much from it.
Do I regret starting a family a little prematurely. Not really. Some very stressful times resulted, but I have 2 wonderful kids.
Do I regret letting a marriage fall apart? Not really. It allowed us both to move on in our different directions.
I have, like everybody else, made a number of “not the best” decisions but part of my perspective is simply to learn from it and move on. I really do not see anything positive coming out of time regretting per se.
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This is exactly it! Every decision is walking a new path. And that means an unknown path. That is what scares many people to decide. Sometimes a decision may feel right but we know that we will take the bumpy road. But it might have been simply worth it. It is how you say. Even if a decision means pain in the beginning it gives room for letting grow something new of it!
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Excellent point!
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Good post. Live and learn.
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Absolutely loved this post. And you raised an interesting angle – standing by those decisions after the point of no-return. So many times it happens, I fail to recognize this “point” – is it too late? Or do I have time? Have even taken the decision or am I falling back on Plan A, B and M? Nice one!
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Yes, that is what keeps us stuck all the time. The decision was made anyway and the direction was chosen. When we stop moving then it only gets complicated.
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“Any decision is better than no decision.” (author unknown)
I also like the idea that once a decision is made, you give it 110% support. A bad decision may just work out ok; a mediocre decision may turn out good; a good decision could produce results way beyond your expectations………….. but first you have to make the decision! 🙂
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Exactly! In the end it is about to take a first step in any direction and see how the further path unfolds. Thank you, Colin, for your commend. I always appreciate it a lot. 😊
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Some really great points in your post, Erika. The worst situation is to not make any decision, mostly out of fear of moving forward. I’m facing that now in some aging family members and it’s a bit more than frustrating. I believe I am exactly where I am supposed to be in life, based on so many good and bad decisions ! Thanks for a thought provoking piece. ❤️
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Thank you, Van, for taking the time for reading it. I too think that the worst is to not make a decision even if it is difficult or painful. There is always a risk since we never know in advance what the further development will be.
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Great thought-provoking post. I’d go crazy thinking about past decisions. It’s an interesting journey anyway. All the very best.
Thank you for sharing the light. Oh … and thank you as well Mr Einstein.
Kris.
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Haha… 😃 Thank you, for taking the time reading and commenting so nicely, Kris!
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