I think there is no one who looks back at life and can say that there has never been a time when they were hurt by someone. Perhaps from the outside, it may have looked like a trifle but inside that particular person, it reached a very weak point. When more of such trifle episodes happen it becomes a wound growing wound which even becomes infected. Each tiny thing that adds to it can hurt so much more than if it had fallen on healthy ground. Even years or decades later, a single thought can trigger the memory and those hurtings can feel as if they just happened.
We all know that in rotating painful thoughts we only hurt ourselves. Actually, we ourselves are adding cuts to the wound. Again, from outside it is easy to say that you need to let go and make peace with the past, although it is obviously and objectively the only reasonable way. We cannot change the past. And right that can make things worse when we are aware that we don’t have the chance to go into a similar situation again with the chance of a different outcome. Because that could be the healing tool we need to make peace with the happenings in the past. Perhaps it is the desire for justice, for being seen, respected, appreciated in the way we feel that we deserve it, or simply for a genuine apology.
What to do when that possibility is simply not given because the circumstances have changed and those situations cannot happen anymore? Or when those envolved people are not available anymore? What to do with those shattered feelings are not mended by the responsible person? Again, the only solution lies in leaving the happenings where they happened: in the past. But only hearing it – whether from others or my inner voice – is of no use as long as I am not ready for taking the responsibility for my feelings but leaving it up to others. Or (even worse) I make my feelings depending on memories which were painful back then and which I may have created even worse over the years.
However, only hearing what would be best is like throwing a ball against a wall. Although it will touch the wall it will bounce off again. Whatever we feel comes from what we decide to feel. Everything we decide to feel is part of a process in our development. If we don’t go as deep into the pain as it is needed to understand the message we cannot receive (catch) the insight. Like the pain of the past event was felt so must the insight be felt. Because THAT is the healing tool to unmask and chase away the demons of the past. How deep it must be dug and in which way that depth is reached is part of the journey. That’s why we must not be disapointed when someone cannot follow our advice or when we cannot follow a piece of advice. Healing happens as individually as the pain was perceived individually. And this can be very deep down in our sacred Self. Therefore it only works when it is understood that healing is a process of a personal journey.
I may not know how close I am to the dissolving. That’s why it is necessary to be patient with myself. It is necessary to accept that I have to go through different stages – maybe my whole life long. But every stage will lead me closer. So, the more aware I am of that the less I should back off when similar painful situations appear which cannot be given a different outcome. Or when the memories of the past surface again. Those moments are not happening accidentally. They remind us that we may be ready to take another step towards the final healing. So, try to stay open for the healing and listen to advice from outside. Whatever speaks to you may be a signpost along the way. Perhaps it is not about the advice but about hidden keywords. In fact, complete healing is only a thought away.
In Love and Light