The Challenge of Challenging People!

The topic for today’s post developed from a conversation with Ann of Grubbs n Critters. We were talking about how it can be that other people are able to annoy us even with things that have nothing to do with ourselves. It took me some time before I wrote that post because it is a big topic. There are so many origins, reasons, and causes which are merging. I touched some and hope I could bring it all into context. That would definitely be food for a book!

Let’s start with the soul – what a complex thing. I won’t ever grasp it completely. I hope this is understandable: There is a pool of soul aspects. When an incarnation comes up the soul takes a scoop of itself with more aspects of this and less of that. At the same time, many scoops with different aspects can incarnate. Those scoops feel the connection of the soul family – soul mates. That is when you meet someone and they feel familiar or you feel a connection and cannot explain it. Don’t mix that up with that one true love. A soul mate is not necessarily the love of your life. Soul mates are there to support each other in their development. Often times that support is not on the funny side. The goal is the development and the soul mates have it in their plans to stick to that goal. They can be your worst enemy but of course also your best friends and even the love of your life. How the support will happen was agreed upon before the incarnation.

The reason we want to incarnate is first and foremost in order to feel and experience things we cannot feel and experience without a physical body. The insight is so much more profound. There is not only so much to experience for us but there are also numberless ways of experiencing the same feeling. There are new things to experience or issues to dissolve (what we call karma). We cannot experience it all in one incarnation. Therefore too we select particular lessons, encounters, and happenings before we come here. Some things are meant for a specific time, and some are when we are ready. But all is well coordinated and linked with the life plans of others. Each life plan affects another one. What a gigantic organization!! That’s why there can be so many causes for the things we experience here. But that is only the way to the event. In the end, it is about the resulting challenge. That’s why at some point we need to stop finding an explanation and learn to trust that it happened for a reason. When something or someone challenges us then we can be sure that it is meant for us to look closer. There is something in it for us – not because we did something wrong but to learn something!

Let’s get to another point: Why is it that one person can get terribly annoyed about something which someone else doesn’t even notice? Or the other way around: I don’t care but others go nuts. It can also be annoying that some get annoyed about things others don’t care…. lol! If something is not part of our incarnation program then we don’t care or we are having a natural way of dealing with such things. It can also be that we are not at the place yet to deal with certain issues and that’s why we don’t “hear” it because it has not our frequency.  But when it has then we hear it loud and clear.  Whether it is a soul mate, someone else, circumstances, or a particular situation, if we feel reflected in it then it has always something to do with us too. People can mirror something which we don’t like about ourselves. Or we are provoked to step out of our comfort zone in order to progress our evolution. Whatever it is – it is time to work ourselves through the next lesson (fate). Only when we notice that something feels not right do we even consider a closer look. That’s why lessons to learn can be so painful. We can pull back and turn away but the issue will only be solved when we faced it. We will get confronted with it over and over again. Each time gives us another gaze on the subject and helps working it out.

In the end, it is always about how I deal with what comes to me. Sometimes there are people whose intention is to bother me. Perhaps I mirror something they don’t like about themselves. Some people are not able to deal with what is going on inside of them. They need that illusion to throw it on others. The problem is that this doesn’t work. At one point we need to understand that it is not about us but about ourselves. A huge and liberating lesson to learn because it is not our responsibility. It is something they need to dissolve. That insight can give so much strength that we are gaining the power and nerves to even deal with them on a daily base (which is important when it is about family or work). It is not going deeper anymore because we realize that it is not our war. Whatever may strike a chord within you look inside yourself first. If you cannot find something right now then the lesson for you may be to not let others make you something you are not. Send them love but it is not up to you to join them in their fight. If you don’t align with their energy they have no grip. Either they will leave you alone or they may change their attitude toward you. What defines your life is not what others do to you but how you react to what they do.

In Love and Light

About the Author

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The purpose of my blog is to inspire and shine a light on the beauty and power of the wonderful being inside your body. You came into this world to share what only you can give. Remember who you really are, conquer the world the way you always wanted to, and become the blessing to us all that you were meant to be.


It is indeed a huge and fascinating topic, Erika! And you’ve added more perspectives and summed it up very well which I have found very hard to articulate. So true of what you said “it is not our war sometimes”. I suppose if people are not growing in the same direction, the conflict would always exist and up to us (or the person) to join in the fight (or not)
Great piece to ponder. Thank you for sharing your extended thoughts on this Erika! x.

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I am so glad you liked the post, Ann. It was already very interesting and inspiring to exchange thoughts about this with you previously. Thank you for giving me the impulse for this post. I am glad it made sense to you and that I could touch some more perspectives ☺

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