We Need To Heal The Cause, Not The Symptoms!

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After the terrible happenings in the past weeks, I thought a lot about what causes people to act in violent, disrespectful, arrogant, devastating, hatred ways. Yes, it is racism, frustration, fanaticism. But those are only the symptoms. But what is the cause for such aggression and hatred against innocent people? I know this is a very delicate subject and I don’t claim to know the solution. There is so much about it. But to me, there are three important possible causes standing out.

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Subjective information
We get influenced throughout our lives:  family, media, friends, school, games (!), personal experiences which again are stored in our minds the way we think about them due to our previous information! If we are told from childhood on that certain people or ethnic groups are dangerous or bad then we are growing up with that thought pattern and even though we never experienced something bad about them we may believe they are. The more people share our conviction the more we are convinced that what we believe is the only truth.

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Lack of love
If we don’t feel loved our lives seem empty. Love is what gives meaning to whatever we do. When there is no love there seems no meaning in our lives. We try to find love because it is a basic need. If someone did not experience love as a child or even later, they may misunderstand what love is and are looking for it outside. Some misinterpret love with physical love. Some try to become someone who they are not in order to feel accepted and respected. That need can be so strong that they would even kill for it – tests of courage, gangs, terrorism, …! A lack of love to me actually is THE main reason for what happens in this world. The problem is rooted in the missing love and self-worth those people feel for themselves – due to what they were told for much too long.

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Fear
We have a natural tendency to defend our lives when we feel threatened. It doesn’t have to be an obvious threat. When we are convinced enough then only the thought can make us feel threatened and we will automatically (re)act in a defending way. Again most fears (or fearful information) are implanted during childhood. We are also scared of being alone which too can be the cause for ending up with “the wrong” people. Mostly we are scared about what we don’t know or only seem to know from tellings. So when we fear something we should check if it is really true. Today we have so many possibilities to get a bigger picture. The question is more what kind of information we seek…. Fear is the most dangerous weapon. Unfortunately many governments are controlling their people with fear and clearly selected information.

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As I said, this is only one of the many possible problems for violence which kept me thinking: fear arising from a lack of love and/or information (or the wrong information). At least it is a theory which makes sense to me. I think the lack of information does not even weigh that heavy as long as there is not that lack of self-love. Self-love generates self-esteem. Self-esteem doesn’t crave for outside approval. Feeling love makes us compassionate, respectful, accepting, tolerant. And here we are: We are open for more information which again takes the power from fear. But we are also aware of the fact that we might not know everything. Love is THE power which makes us see that acting out of fear doesn’t solve any problems – it only causes them. Love and fear are two ends of the same energy. That is why they cannot exist at the same time. Where there is love there is no fear! Whatever we want to change for the better, in the end, it always comes down to love!

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I am not only talking here about racism. Any violence or unfair treatment of people breaks my heart, no matter what color, age, culture, religion, or origin.There is no excuse for violence. NO EXCUSE!!!! But there are explanations. Nobody was born evil – nobody! We don’t know what made a person the way they are today. But we know that there must be a lonely and fearful place inside of them. To make someone stop hating they must be shown their values. It may sound provocative but the ones who seem deserving the least are the ones who need the most love. Of course, this is not always easy.  Believe me, I am having difficulties myself to always think and feel that way when horrible things happen and I don’t know how I would react if I or my loved ones were directly affected. But I clearly know that if we react with hatred and aggression the circle will never end. Because like fear generates violence, violence again generates fear and more violence. Therefore we need to love for being open in order to look beyond and to be willing to understand. We need to heal the cause not the symptom. We can only heal the word when we act in a healing way. We will always reap what we sowed. No matter how many sad and shocking things still happen in this world, in the long run, we can only turn the rudder around when we spread love even when it is not easy. The darker it seems, the more love we need to shine. We need to shine it on the victims and on the offenders. If we don’t grant love to everyone we break our own neck! That is what mankind needs to learn. Only love can generate love!

In Love and Light

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Author, Poetess, Singer, Mom, Life Explorer, Business Woman, Therapist Remember who you really are and conquer the world the way you always wanted!

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fear, Love, peace

99 Comments

Very good article- thank you! I grew up around very violent racists in Liverpool, UK. Having lived in several countries I would say it is the most racist place on earth. Times have changed as now people are aware it is an offence to “hate” but unfortunately you cannot bring out laws on what people are thinking and in reality people will always have it on their mind. When someone gets angry the first thing they do is find something (negative to them) about the appearance of the person they are angry with, be it overweight, black, ginger hair, trans, etc etc and they will then abuse that person on the way they look. I have witnessed highly educated people being very racist- one a solicitor. So it is definitely not a case of lack of education. If you want to visit true racism at it’s most violent then Liverpool is the place to go- i have posted some videos on my page.

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Yes, that is the main problem. People don’t take responsibility for themselves, their lives, or actions. When they are unhappy with something they try to blame others for it and in their frustration they live in that focus to offend and hurt people who are different in order to appear better or in order to demonstrate some kind of power which results from an inferiority complex. I think there will always be such people but at least there is a big change in thinking happen all over and the ones who want to separate get fewer! Thank you for that profound comment about your own experience!!

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Your welcome. Unfortunately, there is no escape from these people and all I can say to anyone living in these circumstances, surrounded by these types of people is- you will never win, work your butt off and get out like I did because in the end it will ruin your life and your families lives.

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I agree! At some point, you need to turn away from such destroying vibes and influence. It is not always easy to achieve it but I am glad you made it and that you can encourage others to do it too!

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Thank you. Yes I was lucky in finding a wonderful wife and working hard together to move to a lovely area of Cheshire. My faith in humanity has been restored- the people here are lovely. Unfortunately my three brothers weren’t so lucky. Our once very close family broke up due to the stress, we blamed each other. My brothers developed very serious mental illnesses and we all lost touch- one of them fled to the United States. That’s all I know of them…..

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Such an interesting read, Erika.

I’m not into politics, but what you’ve written in the this post reminded me so much of the fear both sides spread in the referendum we had here in the UK on June 23. Governments seem to use fear as a weapon in trying to get their own way. Of course, for some, it can spectacularly backfire just like it did for David Cameron who resigned after the vote did not go in his favour. Both sides were as bad as each other with neither answering truthfully the many questions asked. All they did was to spread uncertainty and predict tough times.

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Thank you, Hugh! I did not even think of that but now that you mention it, it is the perfect example of spreading uncertainty and fear and using it as a weapon to control people! I did not experience it over here but what I heard the politicians made it to divide the country. This is exactly what needs to be realized. But how difficult is it when there are people who want information but the ones they get is even more confusing!

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It was very confusing for many voters, Erika. Many voted not really knowing exactly what they were voting for. Neither side really said anything good and truthful about what would happen if they won. Even today, the UK is very divided over Europe.
I recently watched the movie 2012. In it, there was a scene where a spokesman for the government was saying that everything was fine. “It’s just an actor telling you what you want to hear, but it’s all lies.” were the words of one character. Nobody believed him, but his words were so true. Then the world started falling apart.

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This is a great post and I agree with what you’ve said here. There is never an excuse for violence or bad behavior, but there are reasons behind it. Lack of love and respect for others, from others and for ourselves is the number one key. If only everyone could turn from their negative ways and defensive mindsets and learn to show… and then *accept* the love that is shown to them. I wonder though if some people are too far off the path to be reached through love. Stubbornness and pride are hard things to overcome.

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You say it: stubbornness and pride! Mostly that is caused by violence against themselves – mentally and/or physically! Will some ever listen? I don’t know, maybe not! But we must never allow to those “some” to interrupt our mission. There are so many thinking like you and I…. it is possible!

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Thanks for a thoughtful post. Mostly I agree with you Erika. We certainly need to feed the love in ourselves and what we offer to the world, especially those who do harmful things driven by their own pain/ fear/ etc. The challenge is to be so compassionate as to want to help those people. A challenging task for me and those who wish to spread peace and love.

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It is such a challenge. Right because any acts of violence are breaking our hearts and of course, our thoughts and love goe with the victims first. Definitely a challenge to keep reminding ourselves that only love leads to love. And if it is too challenging then we should rather not react at all before we join the attitude of the offenders. But how wonderful to be aware of the challenge. That means we definitely know the difference. Thank you for that impulse!

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This post is really good, Erika. You have described it so well, what is going on in our world and how to handle it. Love is the way, no matter it also hit ourselves sometimes.
We need to spread the love best possible, also to the souls, as are most difficult.

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Thank you very much, Irene! I absolutely see it that way and it is amazing to see how many do so too. That convinces me that we can make it towards so much more love and peace in this world. There will always be the ones who go a different way for whatever reason. But as long as the others are keeping up the path of love we are heading towards a better world. The tougher the situation is the stronger we must hold each other’s hands 💖

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