WHY Do We Fear To Succeed?

How important, inspiring, insightful, and so valuable the conversations to a post are was proved again through my Monday post of last week. I wrote about The Fear to Succeed.Β The interaction which followed made me look even deeper into the subject and lead me to a sequel of that topic.

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As I wrote, we don’t necessarily fear it most to fail but more when our dreams unexpectedly start to come true. We have been waiting, longing, working for something that felt like a deep wish for us and all of a sudden the first signs of development show up. Or perhaps suddenly things simply fall into place magically and you find yourself in front of a door that is already wide open and you only need to take that one last step over the threshold. But that one last step can become the hardest and most difficult one.

Why – after all that waiting and all that effort we invested – are we getting so insecure and even scared about taking that step? There can be many reasons:

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  • Very often, we need to leave something behind in order to start something new. It may be a matter of time. Sometimes in order to start a new life we need to leave people behind, relationships. For example, a separation you are convinced of would be the right thing can also mean that you have limited time with your children. When you are moving somewhere it can be hard to leave the place you spent all your life and you might leave family and friends behind too. Perhaps you need to leave a job behind you loved for a dream job that came your way. Leaving something behind can be a tough challenge.
  • Another reason why we so often hesitate to grab an obvious chance is also because we don’t know how it will turn out. It is that unknown territory. There is no experience yet. Fear shows up that perhaps we have overestimated our abilities and we fear to fail. But only because we have no experience doesn’t mean it won’t work.We simply need to learn it. And the best way to do so is to simply move on the same way we got to that point: in riding on the river of our passion, remaining in the shine of our goal and following the light our soul sent out.
  • But in my opinion, the biggest reason why we become fearful is because we have to take responsibility for the consequences which are known or unknown waiting behind that magic door. If we were not used to taking responsibility and all of a sudden we are in an exposed position (people listen to us, people are watching us, people trust us) that definitely scares! But the good news is, that we did take responsibility before too. We were simply not aware of it. But the previous remaining in the unsatisfying comfort zone was our responsibility too.
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After all the encouragement and motivation to go for your chances there is something very important I want to point out: Never take a chance only because you feel obliged to do so. Only because you started something doesn’t mean you have to stick with it. It definitely is not a sign of failure. When you don’t feel it anymore then stop. It can be that when you are standing at the crossroads that you turn around and go back. Perhaps all of a sudden you see that what you would leave behind is not worth the adventure of the new. Or that you feel so uncomfortable with a new situation that it overwhelms you. Or you feel not ready to take the responsibility with all the consequences that might come along with your decision. And you know what? It is OK! There is a reason for everything that happens and everything that happens is OK! As I wrote in previous posts, however, you decide, it will be the right decision. It will definitely lead you to the place you are meant to be. Sometimes saying No to a chance that opens up was the actual purpose of the journey to that particular point. Perhaps you needed to find out how important it is what you have. And even if you say: “I am too scared.” It is OK! The insight you gained from it gives you exactly that boost of growth you needed. And it needs a lot more strength to stand tall for a No than to keep up the Yes path.

All that you learned on that journey was important and nothing is ever in vain. There is only one thing that doesn’t change: The responsibility for your decision! Because either way, the consequences are yours to deal with.

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So, however, you decide, back yourself up stand tall for your decision. Listen to yourself! Don’t let others tell you how to decide and don’t let anybody make you feel guilty however you decide. It is your responsibility and up to you to deal with the consequences. It is your life! You are the only one standing in your shoes! No matter why and how you decide, make it within the glow of your soul and all will be perfectly well. Perhaps you cannot see it now, but you might clearly feel it!

In Love and Light

About the Author

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The purpose of my blog is to inspire and shine a light on the beauty and power of the wonderful being inside your body. You came into this world to share what only you can give. Remember who you really are, conquer the world the way you always wanted to, and become the blessing to us all that you were meant to be.

68 Comments

Excellent Post Erika, you have I feel hit the nail on its head with your observations. We often are afraid that we will fail.. Yet until we take that initial first step, we will never know. I have found from my own experience of stepping out into the unknown so to speak. Is that within all of us is a guiding compass, pointing us with our intuition. We instinctively Know/Feel whether something is going to be good or not so good.
Times many when I have gone against this in built instinct things have fallen apart.. Yet when I have trusted in my gut, we know intuitively we are on the right path.
Stepping out of our comfort zones often takes us through some emotional ups and downs..
There is nothing grander than stepping out and succeeding and knowing we did so by letting go of our fears as we Trusted our hearts to take us where we needed to be..

Brilliant follow up post Erika..
Love and Blessings

Sue

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I just said how much I appreciate your feedbacks, Sue. This one is amazing. Thank you so much! Yes, I feel exactly the same about this all. We are afraid of failing although we were so conviced before. The fear of failing that is only a misunderstanding in the mind. But as you said: how wonderful and most fulfilling when we dare to take the step and things work out!!! Thank you so very much for reading and commenting, Sue! Love and Blessings to you too!

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Always my pleasure Erika, I love calling in and reading your thoughts.

I am way behind again as I have just had to go with my own flow again. And you will smile but since having my new PC I have been on it far less.. πŸ™‚ What with gardening, and making myself relax. ( I have been following my body and sleeping when I feel tired ) I am also a passionate tennis fan.. And it is Wimbledon over here so I have been glued to TV for a change watching tennis matches. ( A childhood passion that never left lol )

Now its 2:35 am and my aching back woke me so here I am on catch up again and my new PC is teaching me patience as the keyboard is slightly a different size so my typo errors are many that I need to keep correcting πŸ™‚ ALL good for the soul .. πŸ™‚
I hope you are having a wonderful week..
Sending Love
Sue ❀

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Oh, wow, 2.35 am. You really just go with the flow. But I appreciate it a lot. Yes, we forget about our resolutions at times… haha! But priorities can change at times…lol! I hope you enjoy summer. I should do it much more. But then again, I love writing and sitting on my patio with my laptop getting inspired by my extended living room. It feels just so relaxing also the knowing that I could catch up with my WP schedule. But then again I see what I am supposed to do in the garden too…. lol! So what 😊 Have a lovely day, Sue!

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Oh, Sue, it is! I love it so much! I am already relaxed when I sit down (like I do right now). I hear all the sounds of nature (and people and traffic… lo) but also see and smell summer everywhere… wonderful!

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Fear can be many things, Erika. We can fear for just being able to survive, not to succes or being loved or fear even people etc.
The most important might be to face the fear and admit for ourselves, that we do have it and then fight to get rid of the fear, which is not easy, but possible, if we have the will to do it.
Some people are more adventurousness than others and some would never thought about leaving their past life for a new one and others just jump, experience and learn by doing it. Life is not easy, but who did also promis us, it would be?
Great post as usual, Erika πŸ˜€

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So true! We all have different reasons why we take chance or why we don’t. Also different fears about taking them. And then again each way of dealing with it is an individual path someone walks in order to arrive or pass by where they are meant to. Life is so inspiring! Right who ever said life would be easy? That reminds me of something my mentor once said: “You cannot appreciate it because it happened to easy.” And that is true. The big gratitude and awareness about something wonderful happening in my life comes when I had to wait, or put some effort in it. Then I was content and saw the blessing of the gift even more. Just came to my mind. Thank you for reminding me, that was just an insight I personally needed… wow, awesome, Irene! Thank you!

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I agree with your mentor Erika, before we have lived and experienced less good, we are not able to appreciate the good in life.
Like happiness is a choice, as both of us know so well, we also learn to choose happiness out of experience with no happiness.
Thank you too for your beautiful post πŸ˜€

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That is so very true and that is why we chose a life on this earth because we learn from the polarity. We only know what warm means when we felt the cold and we can only see our light when we are surrounded by darkness! Thank you very much, dear Irene 😊

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Great post mam. Yes , one of the reasons is accountability as well as responsibility of consequences which may or may not be in one’s favour. Also it requires courage to start something new and different leading to a kind of hesitation in beginning.
A well articulated post. A must read for everyone. πŸ™‚

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Thank you very much, Ashish! There are so many different reasons why we are fearful to take chances we actually waited for. I think those three are some of the most common reasons. Thank you very much for reading, Ashish and I am happy you thought it was helpful 😊

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