It is not about you!

Has there ever been someone in your life who is bothering you and you don’t know why? There is something you need to know! It is not about you.

We all are teaching each other, inspiring each other, and affecting each other. We are interacting permanently even if we don’t say a word. We all are having different personalities, different ways of living, and different ways of thinking and acting. We all have different histories and different plans for what we want to achieve or experience in our lives. In order to evolve we mirror others in a way that triggers something within them. Sometimes it is not even our actions but simply our presence that makes others feel grudge, hate, fear, and jealousy.

The problem now is that too often people blame each other for the lack or the struggles in their lives. When they cannot deal with it they unconsciously shift it toward others. Some people are so hurt and frustrated that they see the world only through the eyes of pain. Whatever someone sends out has grown within that person. They would not react that way if everything was fine. There is something those people have to work themselves through and maybe you are just the one who pushed the button. It is not about you.

But it is about you and how you react. Because the behavior of others might trigger something within you as well.

I love Wayne Dyer’s quote: How other people treat me is their path. How I react is mine!

My best friend has a position in the staff department. Some years ago she had a meeting in order to tell someone an employer to better quit the job. It was not her decision but she was the one in charge of the discussion. She worried to be attacked or accused of it all. I said to her: “It is not about you, whatever reaction comes. Whoever sits on your chair would get the same reaction. It has nothing to do with your person. You are only the one who sits on that chair.” She found that a very logical insight and went totally relaxed and strengthened into that meeting. When I asked her about the outcome she said: “No critics at all.”

No one can make us anything we don’t agree with. But everybody can show us what is still waiting to be solved within us. Therefore when you feel offended by another person ask yourself what it is within you that reacts. Don’t blame the other one. If you were fine you wouldn’t notice anything.

Perhaps you have a challenging relationship in your life. Try to look through the person. Try to look behind the curtain. Try to feel compassion for the pain, experiences, or misunderstandings this person has stored inside. Feel the love and send love. Be aware that the person that hates is the one that carries that feeling. It is not the hated one. Now, who suffers more in the end? Whatever we send out whether positive or negative is what we have within. When we send love and understanding we can help the other one to dissolve their hurdles. That’s all you can do for others and most of all – for yourself. The more love we send out, the more love grows within ourselves. The more love grows within us the more love we have to give.

It’s not about you! You are not guilty because of who you are. You are an angel who helps others to discover their obstacles and follow their paths. Don’t take it personally. This knowledge alone can solve a lot within you and empowers you to vibrate self-esteem that won’t be even touched anymore.

In Love and Light!

About the Author

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The purpose of my blog is to inspire and shine a light on the beauty and power of the wonderful being inside your body. You came into this world to share what only you can give. Remember who you really are, conquer the world the way you always wanted to, and become the blessing to us all that you were meant to be.


It took me decades to find that out. Recently I apologized to my kids for what I said and expected from them when I was overwhelmed. I wanted them to know that it was never about them but always about me. I am glad I did!!!

Liked by 1 person

OMG, I guess they had enough to work out because of me. I posted a confession about what I “gifted” my kids with some weeks ago. That’s why I needed to tell them in order to never feel guilty regarding my person.

Liked by 2 people

I have the story.

There was the king and his servant. One day, the servant told the king

Servant: “Majesty, there is a man raping the girl”

King: “It is not about me”

Servant: “but she is your wife”

King “It is not about you”

Thanks to the king, he helped both of them free from the situation.

There is nothing about us. ; )

Liked by 1 person

Robert Betz bezeichnet diese Menschen, die den Knopf drücken, als “Arschengel”. Eines Tages, wenn wir verstanden haben fällt der Arsch weg, und es bleibt ein Engel. Ich mag das Bild und kann damit besser erkennen.

Liked by 2 people

Great post, Erika. But I only found it on Maria’s reblog. Your stuff has not been showing up on my WP reader. Not sure why ? I’ve heard this happens a lot. I’ve missed your morning songs. ☺ Will unfollow and re-follow to see if that fixes it ! Hope to see you again soon. Van

Liked by 1 person

Reblogged this on Peacfulyogamama and commented:
I just had to reblog this post! It made me think about my relationship with my mother and how much I always take on self-blame for us not being able to work things out. But as this post is saying she has a part of it, and I can not take that on me ❤ Responsibility for our own behavior is so important ❤


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