The week when I scheduled this post, we had some turbulence at work. We were confirmed again that you get to know the people around you anew in difficult situations. However, we looked forward and tried not to let it get too close. It made me think of a post I shared a few years ago:
I don’t know if there is anyone who is not attached to the opinion of at least one specific person, or whose mood or feelings are not influenced by the reactions or non-reactions of that person. Too easily it happens that we forget that no one can make us feel or think anything unless we permit them. In the end, it is a decision everyone makes. Yes, our feelings can be hurt as a reflex. But it is a personal perception. The other person may not even notice that they hurt you. However, I think it is important to mention it to the other person (because there are only a few people who can read thoughts). What they make do not make of it is their business. But it is even more important to raise yourself above the hurting.
The problem is that in blaming someone for how I feel, I only dig deeper into the wound and maybe even cause an infection that can intoxicate my system. I don’t mean to hide anything under the carpet because I will stumble over it over time, and the pain only grows by crashing on the floor. It also makes the gap grow between the two people if both hold on to their attitude. But if I create harmony in my mind, I lift myself above the hurting and into higher energy. This way, the wound heals pretty soon because there is no identification anymore with the cause of the wound. I will rather see another person’s reaction as part of their personality instead of taking it personally. The higher awareness does help to either simply accept the other one as they are or to make new choices. But, however, decisions made from this higher energy are strong and clear. They are free from resentment, frustration, or any emotional motivation.
It is in taming the ego or at least, in realizing that it is its power over us that keeps us in the low energy that causes self-destructive thoughts and painful feelings. When you put the ego aside, you stop judging but only observe. You know that the reaction of another person is coming from their level of awareness, and it is not up to me to judge whether it is higher or lower than my awareness. By putting the ego aside, the soul speaks. The soul is not dependent on anyone’s approval or opinion. The soul knows about the individuality of every being and of its imperfection that leads to perfection. In the energy of the soul, I am standing on stable ground – rooted yet free from attachments. The soul knows about its identity and does not need any confirmation. The soul does not look down on others nor does it kneel in front of others, begging for understanding. The soul doesn’t ever feel the need to be right and make the other one feel wrong.
The ego is bound.
The soul is free.
In Love and Light
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Absolutely brilliant..your choice of words and the simplicity with which you expressed the gist of Shri Bhagwad Gita is commendable….humans need to grow beyond ego as they are capable of doing it….
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Hi, Neha, I am very happy to hear that how I wrote reached something inside of you. I always try to keep it simple but clear, and I am happy when it works out.
You summed it up perfectly: we need to go beyond ego because there lies the freedom we all seek: No identification with anything in this physical world but the being we truly are.
Thank you so much for your comment. Have a lovely day, Nehas!
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How right you are.
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💖
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you are
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I agree 100 % we have to be responsible for our own feelings
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There is no other way to inner balance and contentment. But the reprogramming can be a long journey. However, it is worth the effort💖
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Yes, that’s the irony. We put ourselves last… and that is so painful.
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It’s so profound, dear. You have said it very precisely that we have to raise ourselves above all the layers of insecurities and confusion. We have to be free and understand everyone equally, just like the soul.
Thank you very much for sharing. ❤️
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Right, Nimmi. I think, only when we grant ourselves respect and freedom, we can grant it to others freely too. We often put ourselves last but because of a destructive motivation. So, we have to love and accept ourselves to authentically grant it others too!
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A great advice, as all other reaction consumes too much time, without bringing any positive effect. Best wishes, Michael
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Although, sometimes it is hard to step out of our reflex, what you said is the only reasonable way.
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So well stated Erika… I learnt that the hard way Erika… As I realised those who wounded me by their attitude and words.. It was only I that held onto them to dig deeper wounds…
Rising above and learning to see why people often clash or create disruption we begin to see and inner-stand deeper the reasons…
Many times peoples Egos are so big, they wish to control any which way, and at times that is at the expense of hurting others as they perhaps belittle them etc, or deliberately cause hurt by being out right nasty..
Stepping back you see these traits, and we are only human after all, as we allow those words to wound etc..
I have grown over the years to now be brave enough to point out such behaviour.. As you said not all intentionally realise they are hurting another with their attitude or behaviour…
I feel we are now evolving more in that age of being more open with one another,, No longer allowing or putting up with such behaviour for one.. And it can be pointed out without being aggressive back also.. Because often being on the defensive and giving as good as one gets, solves nothing either…
Much better to clear the air and not carry those ill feelings around with us.. For they fester and as you say make us feel in dis-ease and eventually will cause disease..
Another great post Erika…
Much love my friend ❤ xx
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Yes, it is this attitude of trying to make others smaller in order to appear taller. It depends on who says it and on how my daily condition is but as you said, we are still human and some words hit the heart off guard. It is then to free ourselves from that reflex because we know better. It is already enough when others try to hurt us, we don’t need to add to it ourselves.
I think so too, and also noticed a change in the minds of people. But probably it is because I changed and therefore meet more people with a similar attitude. Like attracts like… So, I am glad, I meet more open-mineded people which says something about my own development. Let’s infect as many as possible to prevent conflicts of any kind. If we only try to step back and look at another person through their eyes, as good as we can, we accept that they only act from the place they are standing in that very moment.
Thank you, dear Sue, sending you love and big hugs, my dear friend 💖
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“If we only try to step back and look at another person through their eyes, as good as we can, we accept that they only act from the place they are standing in that very moment.”,,,,
Exactly Erika… People are only on that level of there own development at that moment… Not all see through our eyes, and we have to try and see through theirs…
I too feel we are speaking our minds more now, at least I find my own self doing that more.. Rather than bottling in,.. I say something then move on… Not all can do that as yet.. as they hold grudges.. But lets hope they all learn the art of not taking things to Heart soon.. ❤ leading to a more peaceful balanced world xx ❤
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I try to do so, still a long way to act like it right away. But at least, I know. I also need to be careful not to get angry about other people’s isgnorance and selfishness… because that makes me the same which I don’t want to be. A good way to look at our own reflection.
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Yes, we are always learning and expanding from those reflections xx 😘
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It is my goal to live beyond that tumultuous state of ego and instead let go into the freedom!
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High Five on that, Jan! Me too! And although I still tend to feel sorry for myself and blame others for that, I know better and have no excuse. It is amazing when you experience how you changed this attitude and feelings by choice. AMAZING!
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Great Post, Sis. Thought provoking!
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Thank you very much, Sis! Realizing that what hurts us is basically self-created can change someone’s life dramatically!
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I am the only person accountable for how I feel regardless of the actions of others. In the end it is how we choose to respond/react. Sometimes it is just instinctive because we are all human but we have a say in what we feel.
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It is instinct but also how you were raised. When you were raised in takine the blame always, you might think someone has to take the blame but not the blaimer. The day you realize that whatever others told you about yourself had more to do with them than with you, is the day you take a big leap towards freedom.
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That’s why I stressed “sometimes” because each individual’s cause is different. You’re right, it’s like a mental conditioning that needs to be freed from.
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Yes, it is!
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I am in art school everyday!!! LOL
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Until the very end… lol
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Harmony in the mind, ego aside. Erika, this post is filled with such wisdom and love! Letting the soul speak, putting opinions and judgment aside. I remember when several of us did Eckhart’s book study many years ago–practicing looking at trees to give them “no judgment”. “Good sense makes one slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook an offense.” (Proverbs 19:11). Thank you for sharing love and light, dear friend! 💞💕🙏
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Eckhart Tolle is an amazing teacher. Years ago, when I studied his books too, I was melancholic and felt lost. I remembered his words and began to observe my feelings and thoughts, then myself thinking my thoughts, and then observing myself observing me. It was a moment of realizing that I can detach and that exercise did the trick.
Thank you for your lovely words, dear Karla 💖
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It’s my pleasure to be here! I felt much like you, dear friend, at that time. ♥️💕❤️
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💖💖💖
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Oh so beautifully said Erika. This is a great post. You go through all those layers in our journey of facing ourselves in so many ways until we recognize just what we are fighting…us.
And in that sudden opening light start to let go those falsehoods by understanding them and seeing it is ever only us holding them.
It is a very profound moment to ‘let go’ and truly see that those beliefs took us on a journey so that we could understand and go beyond them. To at last stand in that souls place and finally understand a freedom that has no words…but a love so open. To understand that we ever ‘held’ onto things thinking they would protect us, when in fact it isn’t until we finally understand that it is in being fully open…that we have arrived at our destination.
Well spoken kind lady, the wisdom of your journey is indeed very open 😀❤️🙏
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I experienced such a moment about 17 years ago, when I had an argument with my father. Since I was protecting my child, it was the first that I stood tall in front of him, not backing off, not crying, not becoming insecure. I said what I had to say with a quiet but strong voice. He was not able anymore to twist my words and confuse me – no chance. At one point I realized that he was looking up to me and not down on me, although he was taller. It was the moment when I recognized that everything he tried to make me believe about myself, all the humiliation had nothing to do with me but only with him. It was profound and life-changing.
Thank you for always leaving such deep comments that make me think even deeper, Mark!
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And thank you for sharing that now opened heart Erika. That moment of what you spoke, there really isn’t any words to express that moment of ‘let go’ with your father. The change is beyond words as that now love of self pours into where before was a wall of fear. Take a bow kind lady…that is love truly. Well said 😀❤️🙏
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Because of that moment I could make peace with him although we never spoke about it – he would not have understood but only defended him and blaimed me. But again, I knew it was all about him. And therefore, nothing was open between us when he died unexpectedly. One insight and so many blessings! You put that so well. Yes, where there was fear, awareness and self-love surfaced.
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Those moments are a very powerful thing Erika, to ‘know’ you have understood you and him, and the ‘let go’ because of it. It is a beautiful thing, almost a mountain climbed because of its impact. Take a bow, an achievement you can hold with love ❤️🙏
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Moments of pure awareness indeed! And that awareness results in love and forgiveness and compassion.
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In spades kind lady 😀❤️🙏
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