When I asked what to write for today, this topic came to my mind. I am not an expert on grief at all, but just someone who got confronted with it in different ways. So whatever I write here is not psychological expertise but only my thoughts on it, plus what seems to come through while writing. Please keep this in mind while reading.
Every one of us has experienced the feeling of grief. It is not necessarily always about the death of a close person. One can also grieve when one separates from another person, when friendships change, when the children move out, or when one moves away from a place where they felt comfortable. Grief can mean realizing that life no longer has the same content that you were used to and loved – a change in the composition without loved ones or animals, circumstances, places, and even dreams.
What they all have in common is a tremendous emptiness that suddenly becomes palpable. And it is precisely when the pain is greatest that the process of healing begins. The journey through grief is as an individual, long and intense as the person themselves and their relationship with the missing part. It is one of the most intimate experiences that everyone has to face for themselves in their own time and in their own way. That is why it has such a deep healing effect once you get through it.
Grief goes through several stages, and each is a process in itself. There can be numbness, helplessness, anger and blame, despair, and resignation. But since the essence of our nature is well-being, at a certain point, something changes. We no longer want to feel that painful emptiness, that sadness. We see the life we could have but stop ourselves from living it because we are holding on to a life that can no longer be lived. We remind ourselves that life can be fun. We want to be joyful and excited again. We want to have things to look forward to. Then the process of getting up and looking for things to fill that void again begins. That’s the moment when life flows back into that person, and plans are made again.
This does not mean that the reason for the sorrow has been forgotten or has become meaningless. It only means that it has been given a new place in one’s system. It has become accepted as part of one’s life. This is when acceptance has taken place, and inner peace has got made with the situation. The experience of loss, on the one hand, and the experience of overcoming it without repressing anything, on the other, make the joy of experiencing life stronger than ever. Grief is painful but holds immense potential for healing and personal growth.
Why ever I should write about this topic, maybe to give someone an impulse to remember that life goes on and can be as beautiful as the person himself wants to make it. But this is also just a thought… What are yours?
In Love and Light