Don’t worry, this is not going to be a post in which I ask everyone to have their heads up in the clouds and blindly love everything and everyone whether they feel like it or not. Perhaps it would prevent a lot of conflicts but I am not the type of person who offers the right cheek when I was just slapped on the left one. 

But sometimes we need to step away and look a bit deeper into the other person. It can be that a person troubled you seriously or someone is constantly drawing energy from you with their behavior. Some have the tendency to tear you down or make you feel guilty when you don’t act their way. I am not talking about serious threats against life but about frequent or sporadic challenges due to interpersonal relationships.

Some are able to blend out or ignore the behaviors of others like pretending it is not happening. But in reality, it goes deep and they lie to themselves until the suppressed feelings come up and swallow them. But how to help yourself when others involve you in their lives, in their problems? First of all, we need to be aware that it is not the others who involve us but it is us who let us be involved. Nobody can make us do anything without our agreement. Once we realize that a question comes up: How can I simply leave them to their own devices? Feelings of guilt or pity are coming up. Those feelings were actually the reason why we were involved emotionally in the other person’s struggles or attitude in the first place.

Don’t get me wrong, I would never let someone down who needs help but there is a big difference in being compassionate or feeling pity. When we are compassionate then we see and understand the other person’s struggle without falling into their energy. When we are feeling pity then we are weakening ourselves because we identify with the feelings of the other one and we will need help too. We can make other people’s interests and problems our mission but we shouldn’t make them our problems. Also when we are offended, set under pressure, or verbally hurt we need to step aside and watch this from a distance. Because what others do to us says more about them than about us.

We need to set boundaries! We mustn’t feel guilty when we draw a line between them and us. We need to do it when we feel that someone drains our energy or tries to control our actions because of their lack of self-esteem. There is nothing selfish about it, nothing cold, or stone-hearted. Not at all. It is actually a sign of inner strength. And it is the only way to show others that you are not their possession! When you step aside and look at the persons and their situations from a distance you acknowledge the being beneath. You see it is their struggle. They are overwhelmed with their own problems and the only way they can help themselves is to throw their problems on others or to pull others into their zone.

Okay, so I may totally understand that, and still, I might feel guilty or scared about the reaction or that they could be hurt because they don’t understand. How to get rid of that feeling? In sending love! It sounds so simple but once you understand that it is their fight you are also aware of the fact that it is their lesson to learn. In really understand that you automatically cut that unhealthy cord and you look at them with different eyes. In sending love you transform the feeling of pity and helplessness into compassion. In sending love you gain inner power and steadfastness which takes the fear of possible consequences. In sending love you recognize your own self-worth. In sending love you don’t react emotionally which often makes things worse. In sending love you have a protecting light around you which keeps you from energetic attacks and gives others – also the attackers – a feeling of peace and strength. That way, your vibration can already keep them from pulling on you.

However, there will always be those who keep on attacking and trying to use you. We cannot make everybody happy and it is not our mission to do so. Whether they change their attitude or don’t we need to follow our own path… while still sending love! In sending love the boundaries you set and the decisions you make will be filled with love. Whatever grows from there will bring healthy fruits. When love is the motivation, then love will be the guiding light and already waiting at the end of the tunnel. Whenever you feel under pressure… then send love…

In Love and Light