WHY Do We Fear To Succeed?

How important, inspiring, insightful, and so valuable the conversations to a post are was proved again through my Monday post of last week. I wrote about The Fear to SucceedThe interaction which followed made me look even deeper into the subject and lead me to a sequel of that topic.

As I wrote, we don’t necessarily fear it most to fail but more when our dreams unexpectedly start to come true. We have been waiting, longing, and working for something that felt like a deep wish for us, and all of a sudden the first signs of development show up. Or perhaps suddenly things simply fall into place magically and you find yourself in front of a door that is already wide open and you only need to take that one last step over the threshold. But that one last step can become the hardest and most difficult one.

Why – after all that waiting and all that effort we invested – are we getting so insecure and even scared about taking that step? There can be many reasons:

  • Very often, we need to leave something behind in order to start something new. It may be a matter of time. Sometimes in order to start a new life we need to leave people behind, and relationships. For example, a separation you are convinced would be the right thing can also mean that you have limited time with your children. When you are moving somewhere it can be hard to leave the place you spent all your life and you might leave family and friends behind too. Perhaps you need to leave a job behind you loved for a dream job that came your way. Leaving something behind can be a tough challenge.
  • Another reason why we so often hesitate to grab an obvious chance is also that we don’t know how it will turn out. It is that unknown territory. There is no experience yet. Fear shows up that perhaps we have overestimated our abilities and we fear failing. But only because we have no experience doesn’t mean it won’t work. We simply need to learn it. And the best way to do so is to simply move on the same way we got to that point: by riding on the river of our passion, remaining in the shine of our goal, and following the light our soul sent out.
  • But in my opinion, the biggest reason why we become fearful is that we have to take responsibility for the consequences which are known or unknown waiting behind that magic door. If we were not used to taking responsibility and all of a sudden we are in an exposed position (people listen to us, people are watching us, people trust us) that definitely scares us! But the good news is, that we did take responsibility before too. We were simply not aware of it. But the previous remaining in the unsatisfying comfort zone was our responsibility too.

After all the encouragement and motivation to go for your chances there is something very important I want to point out: Never take a chance only because you feel obliged to do so. Only because you started something doesn’t mean you have to stick with it. It definitely is not a sign of failure. When you don’t feel it anymore then stop. It can be that when you are standing at a crossroads you turn around and go back. Perhaps all of a sudden you see that what you would leave behind is not worth the adventure of the new. Or that you feel so uncomfortable with a new situation that it overwhelms you. Or you feel not ready to take the responsibility for all the consequences that might come along with your decision. And you know what? It is OK! There is a reason for everything that happens and everything that happens is OK! As I wrote in previous posts, however, you decide, it will be the right decision. It will definitely lead you to the place you are meant to be. Sometimes saying No to a chance that opens up was the actual purpose of the journey to that particular point. Perhaps you needed to find out how important it is what you have. And even if you say: “I am too scared.” It is OK! The insight you gained from it gives you exactly that boost of growth you needed. And it needs a lot more strength to stand tall for a No than to keep up the Yes path.

All that you learned on that journey was important and nothing is ever in vain. There is only one thing that doesn’t change: The responsibility for your decision! Because either way, the consequences are yours to deal with.

So, however, you decide, back yourself up and stand tall for your decision. Listen to yourself! Don’t let others tell you how to decide and don’t let anybody make you feel guilty however you decide. It is your responsibility and up to you to deal with the consequences. It is your life! You are the only one standing in your shoes! No matter why and how you decide, make it within the glow of your soul and all will be perfectly well. Perhaps you cannot see it now, but you might clearly feel it!

In Love and Light


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The purpose of my blog is to inspire and shine a light on the beauty and power of the wonderful being inside your body. You came into this world to share what only you can give. Remember who you really are, conquer the world the way you always wanted to, and become the blessing to us all that you were meant to be.

68 Comments

Great post, Erika! I think the fear of the unknown is the scariest part. We get used to living life in a routine and don’t know what to expect when things begin to change. There’s really only one way to find out though 😉

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Exactly! And here again…. we are all the same in facing that challenge. The differenece is only between the ones who go for it because the see entering the unknown simply as a necessary step take and the ones who don’t because the see that step as an obstacle! I think I somewere between the both….lol! Thank you for reading, Lisa!

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Of course! How could I not read your inspiring Monday posts? Even though I hate my day job, I’m scared to quit without anything else lined up. I’m getting so miserable there though! I need to make a move already and fast! I’m thinking of just quitting and devoting more time to writing and my family. I’m getting more side projects and it’s getting hard to work 40 hours a week and still write.

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I understand that completely. I am also such a “safety” person….lol! I totally understand that time issue. I am already seriously struggling with only working 21 hours next to my practice, house and family… writing is still in my schedule but tightly organized!

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Gosh, you’re super busy! I honestly don’t know how you do it! Seriously I’m thinking of taking the plunge of quitting and not looking back. I need more time to write and be with my son. My boyfriend wants to have a baby too! Lol. I do too but I have to continue going to a doctor. Being a woman is challenging at times. 😹

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I can imagine how that feels. There are days when you simply feel that you are not where you belong to! Oh, and what lovely perspectives of the future. So glad that your private life is developing so beautifully 😊 Ha, true, being a woman can be a challenge but I would never want to switch places with a man… lol!

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I think the feeling that you don’t belong there is already the sign that things are about to change. That’s why you feel it. Soon you will see it! Haha… NEVER!!!!!

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Great post, Erika. My ‘I Writer’ posts are an effort to self-motivate.
Your posts are very inspiring to me. Not just saying that. I mean it.
All the best. Hope things are good in Frankenstein. Kris. 😀😇

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Haha… you know how to make me laugh. Yes, all well over here 😄 Thank you, Kris, it means a lot to me what you said and I appreciate it very very much! It is great that you found ways to motivate yourself cause in the end we need to feel it no matter what anyone out there thinks about it. When you feel it, then it has the potential to become something big! Huge hugs, Kris!

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We can’t let the fear of the unknown control us. We also have to be confident in the choices we make knowing that fate will always put us right where we need to be. I didn’t pursue writing as a professional career when I was younger because no one really believed in me. Looking back on it now, I don’t think I believed in myself. Now I feel the time is now to attack my fears. Thank you for another wonderful post, Erika. You’re awesome 😉

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I hear you! Neither did I believe in myself or dared to say something about my opinion (if I even had one). We often need to take a detour in order to gain the necessary insights which prepare us for our purpose. We always felt it but were not ready to go for it. Sounds amazing that you feel that power now to walk the path. The funny thing about fear is that once we face them, they disappear. They are not real. Just thought pattern. As soon as we change our attitude they automatically disappear…. mostly 😉 Thank you so much for reaging, Anthony!

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Great post, Erica. We should dare to succeed. We should set some stretch goals. I was watching “60 Minutes” and they did a piece on JJ Abrams, who directed the latest Star Wars movie, after doing the Star Trek remade movies. His parents took him to a behind the scenes Universal Studios tour when he was 8. He decided then, he wanted to be involved with the “magic” of making movies.

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I suspect this link answers that question in some cases. Also one needs to define success. Fame & Fortune? Money? Material goods? That is how success is defined in our self-centered narcissistic culture. Since I have none of the aforementioned things I’m not considered successful. For me success would be good health, peace of mind, being able to support myself without constant struggle, having my basic needs met. Those are all things I’m working towards. Hopefully I will succeed.

https://dexterklee.wordpress.com/2016/07/04/from-bbm-channels/#like-464

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I did a series of posts about success last year and the year before. Success can be so much. To me success is not depending on any material things or achievements. I think success is to be happy about the things I do or accomplishe – no matter what it is. The question is how high do I set the mark for myself to feel successful! I don’t know if health is something we can be successful. But of course we can support our health with a healty living. But a lot is just given. I would say success is very subjective and in the end it is the feeling of contentment. That comes very close to what you said about having your basic needs met. What else do we need?

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What a wonderful post Erica. You’re so right about the things that hold us back and mostly it’s ourselves and our inability to take that step forward for fear of the unknown. I’m a big believer too that everything happens for a reason, even if we don’t know what it is. Thanks for a thought provoking read. xo

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Thank you very much for taking the time, Miriam. There are so many reasons why we keep ourselves from taking chances. But then again – as you said it too – any decision will get us to the point we are meant to. The important thing simply is to stand tall for our decision. Then we don’t need to feel regrets! It is ok! Have a great day!

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