Vonita of Passion Through Poetry asked me to write about making decisions and the problem about indecisiveness. I am convinced that at times every one of us is in a place where they struggle with deciding which way to go, which door to close or to choose and not knowing how it will turn out.
We make decisions every day, every hour. Mostly we are not even aware of that. For example, when we get into our car, it is a decision we make. Every action we do in order to make that car rolling and driving us to point B is a decision we make. It happens out of a reflex. But nevertheless, we make those decisions every day new. It would be interesting to observe yourself for one day and see how many decisions you make unconsciously each day. Change one little thing and see what happens. Just imagine walking your dog on a different tour, meeting different people, seeing different places. There is a lot of new inspiration flowing. But the most interesting part of such a change is that you are much more aware and attentive of what you are doing because it is new.
The problem of making decisions basically lies in not knowing what consequences they might bring. It is the fear of the unknown and of uncertainty. Making a decision that leads us into a world we don’t know is scary because we have no experience yet. But who says that staying in our comfort zone is safer? The only difference which seems to give us security is that we are used to the old conditions. Even if we don’t like them, at least we know what we are dealing with. But is that really what we want?
The reason why new options show up is the clear sign that something within our old world is supposed to change. We have grown out of the old I and of course that goes a long with changes. Only change brings progress and development. The process itself can be challenging but at the same time, it’s that moment when the butterfly tries to find its way out of the cocoon. It is hard but after it got rid of that tightening shell it grew out of it can spread its wings and fly with a newly gained power into a new world in order to develop again from that place.
I believe in fate. I believe that there are things that are meant to happen or to unfold in life. It is exactly about those big decisions which lead to the things fate has in store for us. That actually means that whatever decision we make is only the path we choose in order to get to that point we are meant to arrive. That doesn’t mean I am not scared or pondering but it doesn’t keep me from moving on.
In my post about Wrong Decisions from June I showed an example of how things can lead to the same point no matter which way we decide:
The good (or bad) news is that if you decide for A you will never know how B would have turned out. Once we go with A we got the direction of path A. I give you a little example: A marriage is about to fall apart.
Decision A: The couple gets divorced. Desperation in the beginning. But the break makes them clear their minds. Perhaps both find a new love and start a new and happy life. Perhaps only one does and the other one suffers even more. Perhaps the break makes them see that they still love each other and the even start over.
Decision B: The couple tries to fix the marriage. Both work on it and they really make it and start over new. Perhaps they find out that there is no love anymore and they get divorced anyway after a time of frustration and pain. Perhaps one falls in love with someone new, the other one suffers and they get divorced anyway. Perhaps even both fall in love with another person and they part peacefully.
You see, both decisions still carry all options. What is meant to be will be! The important part in making decisions is, to simply decide from the place you are now, what seems right for you now. It makes no sense to ponder if any time in a not existing future this or that unfolding might take place. You have to make the decision at this very moment out of these very conditions.
You will never know how your decision unfolds in the future. However, you decide you will never be able to compare or know how the other way would have turned out. You can only decide from the facts you have now. Perhaps you see that things are unfolding in a way you don’t like. Then you might need to make new decisions. But that doesn’t mean the decision you made before was wrong. It was perfectly right. Sometimes we need to take a path to get prepared for the path we really are supposed to take. And that one will be an easy decision to make. The important thing always is that you take a first step. Wherever the path may lead, you will arrive exactly at the point you are meant to arrive.
Thank you so much for giving me that topic, Vonita!
In Love and Light