Two weeks ago, I briefly mentioned how Wayne Dyer’s book Your Sacred Self miraculously found its way to me. I was looking for the post I thought I had talked about it years ago, but didn’t find it. So, I thought it wouldn’t hurt to tell the story again since it was essential for what happened later that year and an important detail in the process of a major breakthrough.

2009 was the first time I visited California. About a year earlier, my best friend from high school and I got in touch again after he had moved to California about 10 to 15 years before. We both were not at a good place in our mental lives. I was desperately fighting my fears and trying to eliminate characteristics in me that I knew had never been part of me but were haunting me for decades. My friend was facing anxiety, depression, and panic attacks after going through a nasty divorce and fighting for years for shared custody of his children. Once we dared to talk about our dark inner worlds, I felt it had to be that we got in touch at that point in our lives. We understood mutually completely where the other one came from. We read the same books and could inspire each other with the lessons we took from them or recommended further books. That way, I learned about Eckhart Tolle. After a while, we thought it was time to meet and talk in person. So, my husband and I hopped over the big pond toward beautiful California.

During that stay, my husband and I planned a short trip up to the northern part of the state. Together with a colleague, he was invited for a job interview. Shortly before our flight to Santa Rosa was supposed to be ready for boarding, we heard through the speakers that there would be a major delay due to a snowstorm in Reno from which the plane was coming. So, what should we do with the remaining hours? We checked out the airport and shops. Quite quickly, I discovered a bookstore. I had never read a book in English before, but since we had so much time left, why not check them out, just for fun? Of course, I headed towards the section that said “Self-Development”. I browsed through the titles and stuck with one title: Your Scared Self. What? I had to know more about it. I pulled the book out of the shelf and checked the table of contents. One of the chapters had my attention instantly: Shut down your inner dialogue. I was thinking of my friend and thought it would fit his situation so well since he was so scared internally and talked himself only deeper into his dark depths. That all sufficed to pick that book and buy it. I had not started reading it before we arrived at home. I only read that poem I shared in my post two weeks ago, and I was even more convinced of how perfectly fitting it was. I saw who wrote the book, but that was an author I had never heard of before. Little did I know that only half a year later, I would come again only to see Wayne Dyer in person in a lecture in Santa Monica.

Back at home, I began to read the book. With every page, everything I had heard before and had unconsciously perceived as good suddenly made sense because I could see the connection. Dr. Dyer’s words made it possible for me to put all the many fractions together to a complete picture. I felt the warmth and strength coming up in me whenever I only opened the book, and I was more motivated and convinced than ever to begin a change actively. Whatever I read in that book, I applied it to my life. Whatever I applied made me make experiences that confirmed everything I had read before and was about to read. So many precious and life-changing insights overwhelmed me with gratitude to know that I have the power to change something and that I can do it at any moment, only because I choose to. But what eventually made my jaw drop was the fact that the title of the book was not “My Scared Self”, but “My Sacred Self”. The book would not have drawn my attention if I had read the title correctly. It confirms that we see the world from our subjective point of view, and we find what we seek. From there, we will get the lessons and wonders we need to develop.

Only a month after I returned home from California, my friend told me that Wayne Dyer would hold a lecture in Santa Monica. I was totally excited but also so afraid. Because I knew I had to travel all by myself, including renting a car and getting everywhere on my own. Something in me said: “Now prove that you did learn. Don’t let your fears hold you back anymore.” And I did it! The closer the time came, the less afraid I was. I was much more excited about finally proving that I could do it than I was scared. Once on the plane, there was no fear anymore, but only anticipation. (I forgot to mention that I was terribly afraid of flying, up to that first flight to California. It felt clear that I was meant to go there for a bigger reason, so why be afraid – all will be well. Flying has never scared me, since.)

The lecture was unforgettable. I was so impressed by how Wayne Dyer conveyed the deepest insights. I was so stunned that he seemed to speak to my inner being. I felt understood in a healing way that built up my self-esteem and motivated me to keep up the direction. His warmth and compassion touched my heart, and I wanted to do something like he did to me: Give people the feeling they are heard, understood, and appreciated. I wanted to show others that they are more than their fears and misunderstandings and much more than they think they are. I wanted them to remember the power and beauty that made them come into this life with their own important purpose(es). I spent the next day at the beach. I was sitting there, listening to the moving waves, gazing at the ocean, and just reviewing the past hours. After a while, it felt as if I fell into an inner discussion with my higher self, and all of a sudden, the essence lay in front of me with thousands of light bulbs surrounding it brightly:

Fear is not a part of who I am, it is only my creation.

I started crying because I understood that it was always only me who limited me. No one has ever had the power to oppress me, I just let them. But they can’t do anything about it when I decide not to fear other people’s opinions or reactions. It is my life, and I had and wanted to do what I thought was right for me. No one else can judge it. I never felt this much powerful before. I was clear that I could achieve anything I wanted by only setting my mind to it and doing it. And I can do it at this very moment. A few days later, when I was at the airport again, I wrote the first draft of an introduction to my book I’m Free – Awareness of Who You Are by Discovering Who You Are Not. Everything I had experienced 39 years before led me to those important moments to begin living my life finally. I published seven books and gave lectures and seminars. I want the person I am with to feel appreciated and taken for who they are: a human being on a journey.

To this day, I still can feel scared for many reasons but nothing has ever kept me anymore from doing what I wanted or what I felt I had to do. Fear is still challenging me but never holding me back

No matter the size, reaching a goal is not a one-stop ride. It is never only dependent on one condition but is a journey of many, many milestones. Each milestone is a journey by itself, yet only part of a ride to a further destination. Reaching one milestone, we fulfill the conditions to get to the next. Some of them add to a home run. Every day, something happens that adds to our development. Most of it we may not notice consciously – however, it adds. And in hindsight, we understand the correlation.

Never think you got stuck or failed. Everything that happens to you in life is part of your progress. No experience is useless or evaporates but leaves an important message that makes you stronger, wiser, and (in a relevant situation) ready for take-off!

In Love and Light