Last week I was talking about ignoring the bad behavior of other people in order to free ourselves from their power over us and for preventing us from dimming our precious light. But there is another point where ignorance can act as a supportive tool of development: Fear
I am not talking about acting against an inner conviction or denying our inner voice or instincts. Here I am talking about the fear of starting something new. That fear can have many origins: low self-esteem, convenience, and safety thinking, … When those reasons are the background of fear then you will find excuses and lots of explanations to justify not doing what deep inside has already started pushing you. You feel that you are meant to take a certain step. You feel that you are meant to take action. You feel that it is time to go for something special. But you are too afraid because you don’t know what others would think about it or because you don’t know how it turns out. Perhaps you actually enjoy seeing yourself at the destination but the journey scares the hell out of you because you do have not the overview yet. You are overwhelmed because you don’t know how to approach it. But instead of pushing it aside, you should simply start finding out how you could. What do you have to lose? You only learn. You only gain. You only grow. You can never end up again where you started anyway because you collected experience.
Yes, it needs effort. It needs the courage to ask others. It needs the courage to share your idea because you might need other people’s support. So what? No great things were done by one person alone. None of them! Where would we be today if no one ever dared to try out something no one did before? Yes, perhaps some of them had more self-esteem. But self-esteem is low or high self-esteem is a matter of how you are thinking about yourself – not more, not less! Thoughts are free to choose. It may be a task but it is possible to change them. Ask yourself if you want to arrive at the goal you already can see or if you rather let the chance pass and stay where you are. If you decide on the first one then force yourself to choose thoughts that support your goal and not your excuses.
Believe me, I am not a very courageous person. But I know exactly when I am supposed to take a chance and I learned how to trick myself. Most of you know that I am a professional singer. I am not afraid anymore today but I was scared to no end in the beginning when I was asked to perform somewhere. I was shy and insecure but I loved singing and since I was a young girl I wanted to be on stage. Instead of waiting until excuses appear, I said immediately yes, while my stomach was having a roller coaster ride. And so I did it with all chances life provided for me. The more I thought “I am scared because it is new to me” the faster I said: YES! Still the same at my new job. It is a completely new field I just happened to get in touch with. But over time I developed a different kind of thinking. One thing is for sure: Overcoming your own fear and showing yourself that you can, make you stronger than anything else from the outside ever can!
I made experienced that once I decided to take on a task my focus changed. I ignore destructive thoughts and only focus on the goal. I am someone who needs an overview. So immediately I am making an inner concept of how to get there. The question marks that appear while drawing the road map are noted down and checked one by one. I also gained the serenity that some things need to wait until I have clarity. I am still nervous when I am confronted with something completely new but each time I am a bit less afraid because I know, I will find a way. I don’t grab everything but then I have clear reasons or it is simply not important enough to me. But I would never forgive myself for letting a chance pass in knowing, it was meant for me. Perhaps it never comes back.
Fear is a normal reaction. Nothing we need to be scared of. The only scary thing is when we let fear dominate us. Ignore thoughts that support your excuses and keep you from exploring your life. Focus on the goal and fear will dissolve! Let nothing come between you and your life!
In Love and Light
Erika, fear is crippling. Fear sells. But, if we can set aside the thoughts long enough, we can plow ahead or ignore the peddlers. I have a relative that has an unhealthy paranoia and the anxiety that comes with it. A great sign at her therapists’ office is “don’t believe what you think.” I know this saying is trite, but an article the therapist had my relative read was about compartmentalizing fearful thoughts – the author called it recognizing “stinking thinking.”
Overcoming fear is essential for us all. The easiest example is making that first call to ask someone for a date. Picking up, hanging up the phone multiple times before dialing is evidence of the obstacle. And, then the person on the other side of the phone is usually quite gracious and flattered.
Great post, Keith
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“Don’t believe what you think.” This is absolutely amazing. Thoughts are just an invention of our mind to define our perception but our perception is subjective. And when something happens that doesn’t fit into the picture anymore we change our thoughts and perception which totally proves that quote. We are not supposed to believe anything and are able to change our thoughts and therefore our whole believe system which again changes our perception which again changes our thoughts…. OMG, I don’t know if you get me… lol! But I am just so amazed by that statement. I also love the expression “stinking thinking”. All thoughts which cause negative emotions are not part of who we are and that’s why we feel bad feeling them. That’s why we need to practice choosing thoughts which feel good because that strengthens us and shows us ways and solutions…. again getting lost… Thank you for sharing this here. That’s an amazing inspiration, Keith!!
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Thanks Erika.
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I thank you, Keith ☺
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What a wonderful post, thank you Erika! I do see some bloggers that deal with fear due to trauma in their lives, it can be so horrible. Even things that happened years ago can be so debilitating. I know what this is like too. Do you have any thoughts on how a person can overcome the horrible things that often happen in our world? Maybe you could write a post with your ideas about it. Just an idea. Peace.
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It is such a difficult thing to overcome a trauma. When something is rooted so deep I think it needs an “enlightening” moment. Because it is deeply buried in the subconsciousness and the anxiety is taking over in an instant. I believe there is a huge difference to the fears of insecurity or little self-esteem. But then again not. We can reprogram us and the only way to do it is practicing to think what we want to feel and consciously making THE step. Because deep inside we know that we are meant to do it and as long as we don’t we are not satisfied with our life and with ourselves.
Thank you for that input. I am always thankful for suggestions. I will for sure go into it. I am aware that it is a very delicate topic. I feel honored. Thank you!!
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Thank You my friend. Peace.
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You are most welcome, dear friend!!
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