What is one of the most confusing situation for us? I’d say when we are left without information. When we don’t know about outcomes, decisions, what is going on in other people’s minds when they don’t tell us, when there is a distance or no possibility to communicate…
When we are left in uncertainty our thoughts start moving. Actually we know it in our heart. As soon as we are back in our heart we don’t need to think. But our thoughts are throwing us out of our hearts. What if this…? Or what if that…? What will the diagnose be? Will I get the job? Will I keep the job? Will I pass the exam? Does he still love me? Will the trip turn out well? Will my kid get home safe? So much we can think back and forth. But we will never get an answer. The only thing that happens is that we are talking ourselves more and more in a turmoil. In the end we start believing what we are pondering about although there is no single proof about it. It is just the uncertainty that makes us drift into a negative direction. We lose more and more ground and we lose more and more the connection to our heart where the answer would lie.
When we don’t have any information or control about something that is important for us then it is hard to sit in silence and wait. I know that too well. But there is a 50 % chance. Depending on what the topic is, it can even have more options. BUT: Why do we automatically focus on the worst case? We are even doggedly trying to find reasons for the worst case. We get desperate and hysterical about something that has not happened or will never happen. It is only our fantasy. Why do we so often think a negative outcome is more realistic than a positive? Why do we program ourselves to think and feel in a direction that focuses on a negative outcome? When we have this perspective we even act like it. We act “as if”. Why? Why not in the way it would support us? If we don’t know how the outcome will be, wouldn’t it be smarter to focus on the best outcome? To look for explanations why it will work out instead of looking for explanations why it won’t? It is a 50:50 chance. If we have no control over the outcome or a person then let’s focus on the result we wish for. Is it a guaranty that it works out then? No! But the other way isn’t either.
There is only one thing for sure: Finding reasons for a result we wish for is supportive, empowering, motivating. Finding reasons for a result we don’t want is destroying and weakening. Both can definitely have an effect.
I know that it is not easy to let go of the need to find an explanation. The best thing is, to simply let things be as they are and go into your heart. There we find a calm place, comfort and relief. There we find the answer that everything is OK the way it is and that when you stay centered everything will turn out the perfect way – no matter how it turns out. Even if the desired result is not showing up right away it does not mean God says No! Perhaps life has to get some things organized and needs more time. That’s when we feel on hold. When we get silent and go into our hearts then we find the faith we need to let things unfold.
I remember a beautiful saying:
God only knows 3 answers:
– Not yet!
– I have something better for you!
God never says No. But we can turn away and miss the chance to hang in.
In Love and Light!