Lately, I’ve been thinking about how my life has unfolded and what events had to come together for certain outcomes to happen. I love looking back on the little things that ultimately had a big impact. It’s amazing how circumstances come together as soon as a thought begins to take root, and how those circumstances can lead you in any direction. Just the other day, my boss suggested a special assignment at our company. I turned it down right away because I didn’t think I was qualified enough. But as we talked about it, it didn’t seem so impossible anymore. When I thought about it on my own, it suddenly dawned on me how perfectly this actually fits into a bigger plan I’d had in mind for the next two to five years.

But very often, it’s not the “yes” that moves us forward on our path, but the “no”. Even if we don’t realize it in the moment, it’s an important guide. When I look back on my own life, the “nos” were just as important as the “yeses” in keeping me on track. It wasn’t until much later that I realized that the best things could only happen through that “no” and I recognized that it wasn’t a “no” at all, but rather an “instead”. As I’ve said before, the universe has three answers for us:
“Yes”
“Not now”
“I have something better for you”

We all have hopes and dreams, and sometimes a clear vision about particular achievements, projects, or our future in general. Some things feel so real, as if they simply had to come true, no doubt, no question, all thumbs up. Still, there may come that moment or a single event that tells you that it won’t happen – or at least not in the way you always saw it with your inner eyes.

Was I frustrated when the preparations for building a house stagnated? Yes, but it enabled us to spend a great year in the Buffalo area. Was I disappointed when we never won the Greencard lottery to move back to the States? Yes, I was, but God knows how thankful I am today that we never did. Was I resigning and being ready for divorce? Yes, I was, but I’m more than grateful for the clear signs that kept me from big mistakes. It was a difficult period, but I grew in self-esteem and could look at everything from a distance. That time raised both of our awareness and took our relationship to a new level.

A “no” has so often served as a stop sign, preventing me from plunging into an abyss or getting lost in a world meant only to be briefly explored, but not truly experienced. It saved me and moved me towards the direction I was actually meant to head, but with important lessons in my backpack that made me grow on the way.

However, nothing is lost or in vain. If you went for something with all your heart, you also invested a lot, maybe financially or physically, and made the necessary effort. What I want to say is, you gained immense knowledge. Maybe it is not meant to apply it the way you always thought, but you had to have this motivation to gain it… for something more important that can only be seen later in the greater context!

Have there ever been situations in your life that thwarted your plans but, in hindsight, led to outcomes even better than you had originally imagined?

In Love and Light