For today, I did not have a particular topic in mind, and again I took some inspiration from my Gateway Oracle Cards.  Thank you, guidance. These are the cards I picked:

Freely granted communication is even healing before someone gets hurt; if it happens later, it can truly help heal the past! A restricted or oppressed communication can cause a lot of sadness and aggression. We need the exchange with each other or we risk misunderstandings. One misunderstanding that hasn’t been clarified leads to more misunderstandings. Both parties are asked to talk! The one who wants to send out the message and the other one who may be offended or irritated by what he creates out of his (mis)understood perception. But that is not so easy:

I don’t want to hurt others, offend others, or cause uncomfortable discussions. Also, I don’t want to appear as permanently complaining. But then again, if something inside doesn’t feel right, then without communicating it I will get more frustrated with the situation over time. And it cannot change because the other party feels ok with how things are,  thinks all is well, and interprets reactions differently. So, we need to speak up so that the issue and misunderstanding don’t poison the relationship (and I mean any relationship).

Ok, so let’s talk about it. You make your point clear. But what if the other party is not open to what you have to say right because they feel well with how everything is? I have to be honest: I communicate it anyway but when I notice that the other one only “listens” to reply instead of understanding what I want to say, I resign after a few times of rejection! Unfortunately, the issue persists and gets even worse!

So, the issue has not been solved at all and got even fueled. Now, not communicating anymore adds to problems and misunderstandings. Frustration can build up that flows through the whole relationship and many more situations that are not discussed anymore because there seems no basis for discussions. The time comes when both parties find themselves in a place where they totally lost contact. Both only see their side of the big fence.

Communication is necessary! Of course, not everything has to be made a topic for discussion. Over here we say: We let 5 be even. This is very individual. Something is simply not important or happens only once. Some things really don’t make sense to be discussed because we see that they are part of the other person’s personality and if the whole package is ok then we shouldn’t try to change someone. It won’t work anyway but cause only more pressure for both. But when there are things that really feel disturbing or accumulate over time, they need to be discussed anyway. Perhaps the person simply did not notice what happened and would be glad to know. In a working relationship – may it be a business relationship, family, partners, school,… – such talks must be possible. When it is a relationship like a marriage it should even be the wish of both because it is the basis for a solid ground! When I love someone I don’t want them to be unhappy, no matter if I did something consciously or unconsciously. I want to know what is bothering them and I want them to be happy! Turning away from “their” problems may work for the moment but will make it “my” problems one day! 

Yes, it may be inconvenient and may need courage but it is a sign of respect and appreciation to listen AND to speak up. Because BOTH is part of the desire that a relationship works and that both feel good in that relationship. And of course, both need to take it seriously and intend to find a way to work it out.

This way misunderstandings don’t destroy or disturb something unnecessarily. Insecurities are solved before they become issues. No wounds or scars are left. But even if it already went that far. Even later, an honest discussion can be healing and at least rebuild the feeling of being respected and appreciated.

In Love and Light