The way I lived my life was strongly influenced by control – self-control. Self-control is not necessarily a bad thing. But since I tried to be someone I wasn’t in order to please my surrounding, get their approval, and avoid conflicts or criticism, I was trying hard to keep myself under control. I controlled my words and my behavior in the direction I thought others wanted me to talk or to act. When I had to face unknown situations I totally lost ground. It scared me to know when I did not know how things might turn out. That’s why I was too afraid to try something new. I always needed someone could hand over the problem since I felt too overwhelmed with it. I always needed security and clarity about the outcome of my steps. And as we all know: This is not possible! You can never try anything new, without entering an area you haven’t entered before.
Through my transformation process, I gained the belief back in myself and I developed a deep faith. During the process, I automatically substituted the biggest part of my sense of control for flowing with the unfolding of new possibilities. I remembered that the greatest unfolding in my life always took place when I simply gave it out of hand or when I waited patiently until I discovered the next step on the staircase. In my book, I describe the example of finally getting pregnant as soon as I stopped focusing on it. I stopped to determine the way but began to focus on the goal. I simply tried it out, since I was so sick of the old hard way of controlling my way which did not work.
It doesn’t mean that I completely stopped controlling myself. But I mostly do it in a different way. Today I control if I still let my passion and joy for what I feel inside of me flow out into the world. I control if I still love what I do or if I only do it because I get used to it. I control if my love for this life is growing by expanding myself. I control if I am still making an effort to face my fears regarding new developments. I control myself to see where my ego still is catching and limiting me. I control myself in order to fulfill the purpose I feel burning inside my heart.
It is the hardest when times get rough and we don’t see the light at the end of the tunnel. But instead of running around blindly and bumping our heads in the dark, we should stand still, listen and feel the soft breeze coming from the exit. Whatever happens in our life, we cannot always control and we cannot understand it right away. But knowing that we will understand at a particular point, gives us faith to simply walk through the situation.
If you have a dream you want to realize, a behavior you want to get rid of, a difficult situation you have to deal with, or whatever comes your way you have no experience with then stop controlling the way you think it should work. In trying to solve or develop something we never did before or which is overwhelming us we only get stuck. And we block ourselves from the many ways out of the situation or to fulfillment. There are many ways to solve every problem and manifest every dream. If we let go of the need to control a situation that’s unknown or out of control we will be caught by a force that is much wiser than our mind can ever be; a force that knows exactly our life’s direction and therefore the context of the situation and its purpose. And you will be guided to the exit. But only in faith you will open up the pipeline and give the allowance to that force to hang in.
You are connected to a Source of ultimate wisdom. In opening up for it in faith, you will get all the answers you need! Faith is the answer and the gate to wisdom and fulfillment! Check it out, you cannot fail! Or did you already? So what are your experiences?
In Love and Light!
I appreciate and love your comment! You are so right! The big problem is that we are trying things that did not work out over and over again. The frustration grows and we start to believe that there can never be a solution or a change. It is true, often we are simply afraid of doing something we never did before (because we have no experience with it and therefore don’t know what could happen), and sometimes we don’t even imagine that we can act differently. But I promise: Once tried and not backed out again will open doors we have never dreamed of in our wildest dreams. Because then we can let life happen!
I agree, we get stuck. What’s frustrating is that we try the same failed solutions to become ‘unstuck’ and it never works. I suppose it’s fear of the unknown, fear to try something new. Sometimes it’s difficult to let go of old comfortable failures. Excellent post, Erika!
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