Over the past two months, my days and weeks have been really packed. It is crazy that when you already have so little space to “breathe” left, life tells you that there is still room for more. My watch measures my body battery, and for a few days, it did not exceed 9%. So, I was longing for some calmer days. Or at least one evening when I can have a cozy time on my couch in front of the TV, wrapped in a blanket.

Don’t get me wrong. I could never spend my whole spare time only staring at a screen (TV, laptop, phone). I need to see that something is moving and developing in my life. I need to move forward in my life. But I want to do it at my own pace. What helps me a lot during packed times is structure. I’m not talking about stereotypical routines here. A basic structure is something else entirely. It gives life a certain stability, a sense of security, and control. We all know that we never have complete control over what happens next. But once you’ve established a structure for your days or weeks, it becomes much easier to deal with the uncontrollable. Otherwise, everything spirals out of control, which can quickly become overwhelming.

I know this doesn’t interest everyone. In a way, I admire and envy people who are very flexible and don’t care at all if they’ve just come back from vacation, have a mountain of laundry and other chores to tackle, and still agree on the spot to go to a concert with friends. My son is that kind of person. I’ve never seen him stressed out, even though he’s anything but a homebody. But a homebody will never amount to much in life anyway. I was the complete opposite of my son. That’s probably why he’s my son. Even as a little boy, he wouldn’t let himself be molded, and he opened my eyes to so many new perspectives. His way of life made me realize that structure can also be a hindrance when it becomes more of an obstacle than a source of peace. If we cling to it too tightly, it can turn into a comfort zone behind which we might start to hide. I still believe that we need “a plan.” A plan that helps us organize things and make room for commitments and responsibilities. A plan also helps us not to forget ourselves and creates space for our own well-being. But this plan must not control us.

Until my late 30s, my routines were far too rigid and inflexible. They gave me permission to avoid doing anything I was afraid of. I literally hid behind them and used them as excuses. These routines became a prison. I wished I could break free, but I was too afraid to take responsibility for something I had never done before. Once a plan was made, it had to be carried out, no matter how circumstances had changed. Once I had started something, I didn’t stop, even if I no longer saw any point in it. This was so deeply ingrained in me that I would have seen it as a sign of my weakness, not as a natural part of my development. I felt so liberated when I allowed myself to redefine my structure.

In summary, I believe it is necessary to create a personalized, flexible, and priority-driven structure that fits the individual life situation, provides space for the things we love, as well as for the things we need to get done, and for the visions we want to bring to life. As we know: “Life happens while we’re making other plans.” Many of these jam-packed periods are of our own making, especially if you’re an active person. But with a structured daily routine, we can still maintain an overview and are better able to integrate additional events by shifting priorities. We stay on top of things and remain flexible without tying our own hands, following tedious routines, or waiting for things to happen. My structure and priorities work well for me, and I make sure they adapt to my development.

What do you think? How much structure is included in your life, and how does it work for you?

In Love and Light