What a wonderful Post Erika. If one’s life is simply based upon presenting some image (I am in fashion; look at my big house; admire my car), then it becomes very shallow and while one can adopt the perspective of “I like being shallow because look what I’ve got!”, there are likely to be regrets later in life.

A shallow person will naturally attract like individuals. This may well be an issue when close friends are desired …. but there aren’t any there.

Having a big house and a fancy car may look very nice, and one may feel successful because of them, but being alone later in life when your possessions do not attract the same attention is not a circumstance that generates warmth … and reflective moments may not be particularly positive.

So many elderly people do not want to reflect back because they know that their earlier times were totally image based. Others do reflect with obvious regret that they lead a life which benefited nobody except themselves. They question that when they die, will they be missed?

There was a survey done many years ago in which terminally ill patients in a care facility were asked to reflect on their lives. The most common phrases used were “I wish I had ……………..”, or “If only I had…………”, or “I could have ……….. but I didn’t”, “I often wonder if …………………” All those comments would indicate a wish that they had made different choices earlier in their lives.

I am no role model to live by, but (at 78 years old) I happily accept that my future is rather limited. I reflect back on so many happy moments that involved other people. I reflect back on the various ways that I have made others happy by simply “being there” for them, or by helping them through a challenging set of circumstances. Are there negative events in my history? Yes of course there are, but those events became a life lesson. After all, isn’t the concept of “growing” based upon life experiences and learning from them?

I believe that my life experiences generated so much change in my perspective of life. My parents role modelled the concept of helping people who were in difficult situations. My life at one point made me totally understand how desperation feels, and the value of a total stranger who offered to “walk with me” until it was no longer necessary. My decision “to give and not to count the cost; to toil and not to ask for any reward” (I believe a biblical quote) had a huge impact on my life.

There are so many ways to give and, contrary to what so many people believe, the giver always gets! It may not be a reward in the context of money or an equivalent but, deep down, one feels a warmth knowing that they helped a fellow human; or they feel the satisfaction of knowing that they helped a charity meet its goals; or perhaps they shared their life experiences so that others could realise that they were not alone, and that there was a happy future for them.

Perhaps I have rambled a little here, but no apologies. I’ll just blame Erika for writing such an inspiring Post. 🙂

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