The quote above may look and sound familiar. Over the past weeks, I have written in different posts about taking responsibility and creating an inner concept to support your inner peace. A case in my family reminded me of this topic. Although I am an epicure, I never had problems with any addiction. Never! I even refused to get in touch with smoking, alcohol, or drugs. I have a strong sense of self-discipline (which can lead to other problems), but probably not to addictions. So, I don’t know how it feels to be addicted, and what I write here is based on my observations only. Maybe right that can be interesting.

The addictions I witnessed in my surroundings have always come from overwhelm. I am talking specifically about alcohol. I honor it when I see that someone accepts help and makes a treatment. It is not easy confessing to yourself first and then to others that you have a problem. I understand that it takes a while until the person even recognizes that they may have a problem. And it takes another while until they are true to themselves. And then again, it takes time until they seek help. I also understand that it can be a pretty mortifying process until they realize what they achieved once they overcame their addiction in a way they can handle it. That’s a big reason to be proud of themselves.

I asked myself why some people are falling back several times, which makes the whole procedure repeat. I would expect that at least after the second approach, it becomes clear that seeking release only for a single sip doesn’t solve the problems of the circumstances but adds to them since the addiction is back, too! I can understand that one falls back into the pattern for one time or a long time after you have been dry. But being in rehab 5 or 6 times within ten years is beyond my understanding, except… you make your inner peace depending on the circumstances. And that is the attitude that person in my family has. But not only that. There are also people around her who say: “Oh, you poor thing! It is not your fault, it is the circumstances.” This only solidifies their conviction that they are born as the victims of their circumstances. This specific person has a picture in her mind of how things should be, about how the circumstances should be, about how she and the people she spends her life with should be. But that never works out! Because that picture is only in her mind but has nothing to do with life.

If you make your inner peace, happiness, and self-esteem depend on how people treat you and the challenges of life, you will never ever stand on solid ground. As long as an inner conviction says that life needs to change for me to be happy, I will become frustrated every day. Because life does happen, and it happens in ways that are supposed to make us grow, not relax. That’s why everyone experiences situations that cause sadness, disappointments, hurt, shock, pain, stress, overwhelm, or frustration. And yes, it can throw us off our feet for a moment, maybe even a while. So, we must find solutions to solve those problems, change situations, or even change life. But drowning problems in alcohol is giving up responsibility for oneself and handing it over to a beverage. As long as someone says, I know it is not the right way, but since I have problems here and there and cannot help it, it is like never growing up and taking your life into your own hands.

I understand that it is a challenge to stay away from that substance once you have the addiction, and it needs a strong will. But it is not only the will. You need to ask yourself why you fell into the addiction – and it was not the circumstances. It was the inner concept that needed to be revised. If that gets done, everything changes. Only then can healing take place.

Handing the option of being happy over to the circumstances or goodwill of others leads to depression, anxiety, and/or addiction. I have seen this repeating pattern and the misunderstanding often. It destroys the lives of more than only one person. And that is a responsibility you cannot erase and which weighs even more over time.

Ultimately, there is no escape into an addiction to avoid responsibility.
It only gets bigger!

In Love and Light