What’s Been My Part?

Often we are confronted with situations we may have had no control over or no influence that they happened the way they happened. At least that may be the first thought about it. I may go through life doing my thing the way I do it by being the person I am without bad intentions. Still, life may throw stones in my way. It is easy to fall into the victim mode like: “What can I do?” Consequently, I may ignore or accept what is but continue doing everything the way I always did because I am not considering my responsibility for the outcome. I have been able to follow the developments of the following examples for some time.

  • Relationships: 
    There may be repeating disappointments in interpersonal relationships where I feel neglected or unappreciated and eventually “shelved”. If then I only ask: “Why me again?” but I don’t recognize that maybe something in my behavior (or even non-behavior) may be co-responsible for the repeating disappointments, nothing will ever change. It should make me think…
  • Jobs: I may be unhappy with my job, or I have been treated similarly by my bosses or co-workers. Perhaps, I am ending up with the same tasks that I really don’t like to do. Maybe, I am trying to launch my own business, but it is not working out. Maybe, I even tried several different business ideas that never worked out. Is it really the stupid consumers or investors who don’t get it? It should make me think…
  • Raising children: A big part of us inherits something from our parents that we have to get out of later. It may seem unfair, and often it is really connected with great (mental) efforts. Nevertheless, in the end, it serves personal development and awareness. As an adult, the responsibility lies with oneself to do something to free oneself from the clutches of the imprints and traumas taken over as a child. And with this awareness, one must also admit to oneself that the “difficult” and perhaps even dangerous behavior of one’s own children also has to do with what one has passed on to them. It is not possible to change the past once “the damage” has been done, but it can be an essential support for the child in the process of coming to terms with it. At the same time, you work through a lot for yourself. So, if my child is about to take the dark road, it should make me think…

There are things in our lives that we may not have caused directly. Still, everything that encounters me and triggers something in me has to do with me. Otherwise, I would not even waste a single thought about it. If I face similar situations repeatedly, even more, I am called to take responsibility and look a little closer. So, I need to look back and question myself, and/or I have to ask the involved persons what my part may have been. Of course, no one is obliged to change anything about themselves. That is totally ok. But then it must be a conscious decision. No complaint, please. There cannot be expected different outcomes while keeping everything as it has been. I attract the same energy I carry in me, and I will receive the answers that match the signals I sent out before. The victim role never leads to success… but more victim opportunities.

Being honest with oneself is probably one of the hardest things to do. It causes effort, maybe opening old wounds, and courage to step out of the comfort zone. I don’t say it is easy, but if we want to break out of repeating disappointments, it might be the only way. Those repeating situations show us that there is something we are meant to grow off. The universe doesn’t punish, but it only demonstrates the consequences of how things don’t work out as we wanted them. And in looking closer, we reveal layer by layer the truth in us that leads to our own liberation and greatest fulfillment.

We are very good at glossing over things
that are not as we would like them to be.
But only when we recognize the consequences of our own behavior
can we change our behavior
and thus the consequences in the long term.

In Love and Life

About the Author

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The purpose of my blog is to inspire and shine a light on the beauty and power of the wonderful being inside your body. You came into this world to share what only you can give. Remember who you really are, conquer the world the way you always wanted to, and become the blessing to us all that you were meant to be.


There is always something we can change about ourselves to change a (repeating) situation we don’t like. Or by checking on ourselves we learn how to handle something better which again, can change something. Thank you, Michael, and you too!

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We can play the role of the victim but we are only burying ourselves in a victim mentality and that will make it harder to climb out. We have the power to change the game at any moment. I like this post a lot. Have a great week ahead, Erika 🌞

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It can happen so easily that we ignore our own part yet wondering why the same things happen over and over. As you said, we have the power to change something but first we need to see and understand what needs to be changed. I think that is the difficulty in this all when even willing.
I am very happy it spoke to you, Sylvester. Thank you very much and you too 🌞

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I try to stay in the awareness of looking at my self first not as a victim but my role in my own situation. I try to understand all angles and views.. You’re very welcome and thank you always 🌞

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That is what I call “solution-oriented” and a good way not only to understand a big part of the “why” but also the “how” of changing something (if desired).


Yes, Sis, exactly! When it triggers something in us then we need to look closer. Either to learn how to handle something or to see how to change something. We need to see where we want to be and find a way to get there. The main part to get there is up to us. Thank you, Sis.


Now that is beautifully written dear lady, that part of us that this journey provides so that we can become that perfection that we are. We dodge, duck, parry and thrust trying to avoid that pain, that fear unintentionally raised within. But it is the act of going through it that is the making of us, it leads us through that change that we are afraid to face, and in doing so creates something wonderful.
I am truly impressed how you worded this, it touches that part of us that is aware and wants to be something more…that love and happiness we ever look for is on that path. Take a bow my friend, your light is showing well 😀 ❤️ 🙏🏽 🦋

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As we discussed it before, relief and enlightenment can only be found beyond pain. Unfortunately, too many don’t see it as part of the natural development but rather like them being martyrs being tested by the universe with the same experienes over and over. But as you said, it is in challenges by avoiding to take the challenge that also leads them there one day. They cannot help it but to confess that has always been them standing in their way or (co-)causing those experiences. Gosh, I love this topic since I believe that even those (me included) who are aware still have blind spots and get bloody noses because they still don’t see the wall they are running into.
Thanks for your comment, Mark. That was very inspiring!

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It always leaves me amazed how we will attract exactly what is needed. I see, especially in our relationships, that we will go through something, break up with that person and if we haven’t resolved the problem, straight back it comes. And very incredibly from an entirely different person…but…still poke us with whatever upsets us so we can eventually see. Love is the most incredible magnet of purity that I know, while ever we have something covered it wants to clear it so that we can be that beautiful unconditional love. It’s like a baby with a dirty face, we try to wipe it off and they twist and squirm saying I’m alright…but we know better…as does that unconditional love 😀 ❤️ 🙏🏽 🦋

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Oh, and yes, I still trip and stumble, and a bloody nose to occasionally bring me back to earth so that I don’t get so confident I think I’m ‘there’. I am currently doing this at the moment and still not sure of the why, I am being blind to something…so that I can eventually ‘see’ and appreciate what I am being shown 😀 ❤️ 🙏🏽 🦋

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It is that moment when we absolutely don’t understand what is going on, how can we support the development, and where shall we actually arrive. As I experienced it, very soon the Universe reveals the result through a huge insight. I hope the Universe sends the glasses soon to see clearly. 💖

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Me too dear lady, another medical journey that any type of ‘public’ healing is blocked. I need to trust in the one that said ‘I am the giver of life’, and then see what I am being shown 😀 ❤️ 🙏🏽 🦋

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I think “trust” is the foundation to healing. As long as there are doubts, there are blocks. And even that trust is part of the journey. And along the way drop one doubt after the other. Doubts that we did not even notice that we had them.

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You say it so well. Especially about being triggered. It means we still have an issue that lurks deep within us that is asking us to pat attention.
Our parts are entwined with many other parts, hearts , relationships, events, etc.
We after all are here to experience.
And we can never fully separate ourselves from the whole..

So our parts are multidimensional, for we are fractals of the whole.

We never can fully know our value as a small part.. but without those small parts then the whole would not exist..

So our parts are very important roles. Be it by a smile, a thought or deed, each of us hold tremendous powers that we are only now discovering to our truest potential.

Great Post dearest Erika. ❤ 💖🥰

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Sue, you summed that post up with your fantastic comment. This is the crucial part: “we can never fully separate ourselves from the whole.. So our parts are multidimensional, for we are fractals of the whole.” We are all intertwinded with each other (and everything around – the whole as you said) in our stories and therefore influence each other’s story again. That’s the point. Even doing nothing is passive action.
Would you allow me to quote your words I repeated here?
Thank you very much for your wonderful comment, Sue 💖

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It is pure laziness and (again) the lack of will to take responsibility for one’s life. It is anything but maturity. A good hint to reveal that. Thank you, Colin.

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