Because it is a reflex. Have you noticed that some people ask about how someone is doing, and then they say: “I am glad to hear because then I don’t need to worry.” When I hear that, I promptly say: “Exactly, you never need to.” It appears that some show their compassion by the grade they worry about something or someone. But what’s that for? It only adds negative vibes to someone that already tries to stay as positive as possible.
It’s not done by simply saying I don’t have to worry, and magically I stop worrying. The more a person or outcome means to us, the more we tend to worry about a positive result. I’m no different. I often ask myself, why do you expect a bad outcome when the chances of a good outcome are equal? Why don’t you trust that everything will go well? Why can’t you remain neutral? Perhaps we have become hypersensitive from too many disappointing experiences and have developed a reflexive skepticism? Whatever it is, once this feeling has settled in the pit of your stomach, it’s not easy to get rid of it.
Children don’t worry. They’ve been trained to. Trained by what they see others do and by education. For example, if a mother has a panic attack every time she sees a spider, the child will get the message: You have to be afraid of spiders. Spiders are evil. We relate the experiences we have to what we have seen and what we have been taught. We store the conclusions we individually draw from them in our minds. I even know people who say, “First and foremost, I expect the worst to happen. Because then I can’t be disappointed.” Uhm, what? When this attitude is lived, I’m not surprised that worry is a constant companion, because they already and only expect bad things to happen. Then, when that outcome turns out badly, as expected, they feel vindicated. They think that it was their gut feeling that had warned them. But this is a misunderstanding in such cases. It was only confirmed that what one “wanted” to see has manifested: “Your wish is my command.” The law of attraction. It is what we actually feel that determines the direction in which we creatively influence.
Therefore it is not enough to tell ourselves that all will be well while we feel differently. The feeling tells us the truth about what we believe. We never know what tomorrow brings. We don’t know if what appears to be a rock-solid plan will ultimately come to fruition that way. But only because we don’t know doesn’t mean everything breaks down or the most probable outcome will be negative. Life is constantly in motion and that is what keeps us developing. From the mutual influences, our circumstances create from which we are pushed to act, react, get inspired, keep moving, keep building, keep living. It is in that we need to learn to trust.
I think it all has a lot to do not only with lack of confidence but also with impatience. “If it hasn’t happened yet, that’s a bad sign. Someone may have been faster.” On top of everything else, this creates a large portion of stress, which you create yourself. Things take time to develop. How can we know when all the conditions are in place? If we constantly doubt the development that has already begun, it will only take more time to manifest because we are energetically influencing the process again. Yes, we need a lot of practice and discipline to reprogram that impatient and skeptical mind to just shut up.
As children bring their broken toys
With tears for us to mend.
I brought my broken dreams to God
Because He was my Friend.
But instead of leaving Him
In peace to work alone,
I hung around and tried to help
With ways that were my own.
At last, I snatched them back and cried,
“How can You be so slow”-
“My child,” He said, “What could I do?
You never let them go.”
– Lauretta Burns –
In Love and Light