When I look out the window now, all I see is a white wall of fog. Outside it is cold and wet. That is the kind of autumn we are used to in November and winter in general. Sometimes the fog even stays for days or weeks. But so far, it hasn’t bothered me that the sun doesn’t shine, and I can only see as far as the nearest bush or tree. I even feel comfortable – at least when I sit here in my office and look outside as I write these words. It may be ugly outside, but it makes it even cozier and homier inside.
It made me think of other situations. Life is not always rosy – maybe the roses on the path are even rarer than the stones. But that is what happens outside of us. It is not who we are. Whatever happens outside of us, whatever life puts in front of us, is a task to be accomplished. But I am not the task. I am the one who finishes the task and who solves the problem. When I can detach myself from what is happening outside, I have a calm and clear mind to look at what is happening outside of me more objectively.
The biggest problem is that we tend to identify with everything that happens and engages us. We associate it with who we are. When someone wants to insult or humiliate us, we feel insulted and humiliated and react accordingly to that feeling. We identify the self (the inner being) with what is happening outside that being. But why do we do this? Because the ego stands between the inner and outer worlds and makes us believe that we must compete, that we must feel bad or angry, that we must fulfill a particular standard or conform. How could the ego ever get such power over us? A child has no ego – it has personality and is clear within itself. Over the years, it accepts what it is trained to receive and stores its experience in connection with it. Nevertheless, it is only an imprint from the outside and again has nothing to do with the original nature of the child. It is still just as clearly there, only somewhat covered.
Our inner world is inviolable. It is the most sacred place in a being – a place, that is accessible only to that particular being. Unfortunately, for many of us, this place is abandoned, rarely, or never visited because we have forgotten that it exists. We have forgotten that our home is not outside, where tasks, obstacles, and struggles wait to challenge us to our individual growth. We have forgotten that this place is home, the protected area where we can feel comfortable, where we can warm-up, where we can find healing and strength to face all the tasks outside. We have forgotten that we are not the foggy, cold, or stormy weather but the comfort, rest, wisdom, and unconditional love within us. Outside, we are only tested. But the truth we need to pass these tests is only found within. And isn’t it these very trials that teach us who we really are that ultimately lead us back home?
I am not the struggles and problems I have to deal with.
I am not the thoughts that try to convince me that I am them.
I am the one who controls the thinker.
I am the soul that wants to experience a physical life.
But since the soul can detach itself from the physical life, it is not the physical life.
In Love and Light