Doubts and Fear – Looking For What You Don’t Want


It doesn’t matter how nice, beautiful, lovely something may appear, there are people who are having problems accepting thankfully and instead reflexively question all good things. They are more convinced that good things cannot be real but accept the not so good things as the only realistic option. Whatever good they see, they will not be fine until they find something to criticize. Yes, all that glitters is not gold. But why searching for the non-gold when I am doing good with what glitters?


No one and nothing is perfect, and then again, how do we define “perfect”? We will always find coalsย  when we are digging deep enough. Those who are only focusing on finding something bad, proudly hold up high that piece of coal in order to run someone down. What they don’t notice is the dirt on themselves due to the mud digging while pointing on the other one.


There is not only good or only bad. We can find either in everything. It is our choice what we are searching for. But there are those who instantly check where the rub is. That way, they cannot enjoy the beautiful things in life or even don’t even notice it. For example, when someone is permanently scared to eat anything unhealthy they may not only look for healthy food but for everything unhealthy in a possible healthy food… once that starts they never get it done. What happens is that they are eating with fear instead of enjoyment. That way fear becomes part of their nutrition. I believe that this is one of the reasons why people get sick although they are eating deliberately healthy. Because it is not the food that makes them sick in the first place but the poisoning thoughts.


There are many more situations like the business world, relationships, … in which someone can be caught in looking out for what they actually want to avoid. Once they found something suspicious they feel confirmed although they were only blind for all good things around them. We definitely shouldn’t believe everything we see and hear. But we mustn’t drive ourselves crazy in only seeking for conspiracy theories. Because then we might only find coals and the gold will be found by those who reflexively reach for the beauty in the normal and even more in the difficult. Even rotten food cannot harm your body as much as constant rotten thoughts can. Feed your system with beauty and joy and pass it on to others.


In Love and Light

About the Author

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The purpose of my blog is to inspire and shine a light on the beauty and power of the wonderful being inside your body. You came into this world to share what only you can give. Remember who you really are, conquer the world the way you always wanted to, and become the blessing to us all that you were meant to be.


I know what you mean. I will head over as soon as I am having a little time for only dedicating it to your blog. Please be patient since I am on vacation soon. But I will come over when I am back, dear!


I think the more aware we are of this topic the more of these we will uncover. We tend to believe them and either we are sad or frustrated or even angry, or we even try to change something because we believe them. Either way, we need to realize that what they criticise is actually something they envy us for. And that is the reason they want us to change it… who knows!

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Yes, it is so important not to resign or believe the negative things they seem to find. They paint a distorted picture which has nothing to do with who we really are. Thank you so much for reading and commenting, Irene ๐Ÿ’–

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Erika, I am going to be explicitly honest …. The type of person you are describing is my husband in spades. He is so afraid to be happy because he saw the world of hell around him in Nam. He carries so much pain and sorrow in his heart that he lashes out to criticize and put down others all the time because he is reflecting only that which he knows. I don’t know if he will ever heal that heart of his. Perhaps in learning how to play the guitar which he is right now that will somehow crack his heart open. Anything is possible, that I can attest to. I once held on to so much pain and literally was a mess. Today however, is an entirely different story. Excellent post and I thank you so much for writing it. Bless you!! ๐Ÿฆ‹๐Ÿฆ‹๐Ÿฆ‹

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Reading your words made my eyes watery. It is terrible when you are so caught in the darkness of life and afraid of the light that you keep yourself far away from it. At the same time missing out on so much beauty to see and experience.
But it must be at least as hard for you since you see what is going on and cannot do a thing but to bear that attitude which is must have covered your life in a thick fog at times.
I am so glad to know that you broke out of this quite a while ago and that you are on the path up, feeling yourself more and more with each step.
I hope from the bottom of my heart that your husband can break his shell and enjoy the beauty of life which you are able to see together with you soon.
Much love to you, Amy ๐Ÿ’–

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That header quote meets the core of the message perfectly! It feels like a dark cloud tries to reach out sucking energy from you while they try to rise by putting others down.


Oh, yes, that hits the nail on the head. What we feed ourselves with is what nurtures our system – the physical as much as the spiritual. Thank you, Keith!


There are those who always find or create a negative even when something is good and fail to appreciate what is good. This is a very good message you are sharing, Erika. We cannot allow other attitudes keep us from seeing the beauty and good in life.

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Thank you very much, Sylvester. That is so important. Too easy we could get caught by their attitude without even noticing. As I wrote the week before… once we develop more positivity, we appeares even more negative.

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The good news for you is that you must be extremely “perfect” in their eyes. Otherwise that person would not make such an effort to search and search. Perhaps they are even scared of your qualities. As it was said, such a behavior says more about that person than about you!

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You’re welcome, always, Erika! For one reason or another, some people have a hard time handling those who are positive and optimistic. We cannot allow their blind negativity towards us to influence our mind and heart.

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Exactly! The motivation is based on low intentions which makes them refusing to see the whole because then they needed to give up their attitude and agree that we are simpley wonderful the way we are. Sorry, what a sentence… lol!


Oh, yes, they feel threatened and what men do first when they feel threatened, they eliminate the cause instead of learning something from it.


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