After the terrible happenings in the past weeks, I thought a lot about what causes people to act in violent, disrespectful, arrogant, devastating, and hateful ways. Yes, it is racism, frustration, and fanaticism. But those are only the symptoms. But what is the cause for such aggression and hatred against innocent people? I know this is a very delicate subject and I don’t claim to know the solution. There is so much about it. But to me, there are three important possible causes standing out.
Subjective information
We get influenced throughout our lives: family, media, friends, school, games (!), and personal experiences which again are stored in our minds the way we think about them due to our previous information! If we are told from childhood that certain people or ethnic groups are dangerous or bad then we are growing up with that thought pattern and even though we never experienced something bad about them we may believe they are. The more people share our convictions the more we are convinced that what we believe is the only truth.
Lack of love
If we don’t feel loved our lives seem empty. Love is what gives meaning to whatever we do. When there is no love there seems no meaning in our lives. We try to find love because it is a basic need. If someone did not experience love as a child or even later, they may misunderstand what love is and are looking for it outside. Some misinterpret love with physical love. Some try to become someone who they are not in order to feel accepted and respected. That need can be so strong that they would even kill for it – tests of courage, gangs, terrorism, …! A lack of love to me actually is THE main reason for what happens in this world. The problem is rooted in the missing love and self-worth those people feel for themselves – due to what they were told for much too long.
Fear
We have a natural tendency to defend our lives when we feel threatened. It doesn’t have to be an obvious threat. When we are convinced enough then only the thought can make us feel threatened and we will automatically (re)act in a defensive way. Again most fears (or fearful information) are implanted during childhood. We are also scared of being alone which too can be the cause for ending up with “the wrong” people. Mostly we are scared about what we don’t know or only seem to know from tellings. So when we fear something we should check if it is really true. Today we have so many possibilities to get a bigger picture. The question is more about what kind of information we seek… Fear is the most dangerous weapon. Unfortunately, many governments are controlling their people with fear and clearly selected information.
As I said, this is only one of the many possible problems for violence which kept me thinking: fear arising from a lack of love and/or information (or the wrong information). At least it is a theory that makes sense to me. I think the lack of information does not even weigh that heavy as long as there is not that lack of self-love. Self-love generates self-esteem. Self-esteem doesn’t crave outside approval. Feeling love makes us compassionate, respectful, accepting, and tolerant. And here we are: We are open for more information which again takes the power from fear. But we are also aware of the fact that we might not know everything. Love is THE power that makes us see that acting out of fear doesn’t solve any problems – it only causes them. Love and fear are two ends of the same energy. That is why they cannot exist at the same time. Where there is love there is no fear! Whatever we want to change for the better, in the end, it always comes down to love!
I am not only talking here about racism. Any violence or unfair treatment of people breaks my heart, no matter what color, age, culture, religion, or origin. There is no excuse for violence. NO EXCUSE!!!! But there are explanations. Nobody was born evil – nobody! We don’t know what made a person the way they are today. But we know that there must be a lonely and fearful place inside of them. To make someone stop hating they must be shown their values. It may sound provocative but the ones who seem deserving the least are the ones who need the most love. Of course, this is not always easy. Believe me, I am having difficulties myself always thinking and feeling that way when horrible things happen and I don’t know how I would react if I or my loved ones were directly affected. But I clearly know that if we react with hatred and aggression the circle will never end. Because like fear generates violence, violence again generates fear and more violence. Therefore we need to love being open in order to look beyond and to be willing to understand. We need to heal the cause, not the symptom. We can only heal the word when we act in a healing way. We will always reap what we sowed. No matter how many sad and shocking things still happen in this world, in the long run, we can only turn the rudder around when we spread the love even when it is not easy. The darker it seems, the more love we need to shine. We need to shine it on the victims and on the offenders. If we don’t grant love to everyone we break our own necks! That is what mankind needs to learn. Only love can generate love!
In Love and Light
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Very good article- thank you! I grew up around very violent racists in Liverpool, UK. Having lived in several countries I would say it is the most racist place on earth. Times have changed as now people are aware it is an offence to “hate” but unfortunately you cannot bring out laws on what people are thinking and in reality people will always have it on their mind. When someone gets angry the first thing they do is find something (negative to them) about the appearance of the person they are angry with, be it overweight, black, ginger hair, trans, etc etc and they will then abuse that person on the way they look. I have witnessed highly educated people being very racist- one a solicitor. So it is definitely not a case of lack of education. If you want to visit true racism at it’s most violent then Liverpool is the place to go- i have posted some videos on my page.
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Yes, that is the main problem. People don’t take responsibility for themselves, their lives, or actions. When they are unhappy with something they try to blame others for it and in their frustration they live in that focus to offend and hurt people who are different in order to appear better or in order to demonstrate some kind of power which results from an inferiority complex. I think there will always be such people but at least there is a big change in thinking happen all over and the ones who want to separate get fewer! Thank you for that profound comment about your own experience!!
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Your welcome. Unfortunately, there is no escape from these people and all I can say to anyone living in these circumstances, surrounded by these types of people is- you will never win, work your butt off and get out like I did because in the end it will ruin your life and your families lives.
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I agree! At some point, you need to turn away from such destroying vibes and influence. It is not always easy to achieve it but I am glad you made it and that you can encourage others to do it too!
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Thank you. Yes I was lucky in finding a wonderful wife and working hard together to move to a lovely area of Cheshire. My faith in humanity has been restored- the people here are lovely. Unfortunately my three brothers weren’t so lucky. Our once very close family broke up due to the stress, we blamed each other. My brothers developed very serious mental illnesses and we all lost touch- one of them fled to the United States. That’s all I know of them…..
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That’s sad to hear. It is interesting what one situation can cause and how different people react to the same circumstances. Your choice was healing!
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Such an interesting read, Erika.
I’m not into politics, but what you’ve written in the this post reminded me so much of the fear both sides spread in the referendum we had here in the UK on June 23. Governments seem to use fear as a weapon in trying to get their own way. Of course, for some, it can spectacularly backfire just like it did for David Cameron who resigned after the vote did not go in his favour. Both sides were as bad as each other with neither answering truthfully the many questions asked. All they did was to spread uncertainty and predict tough times.
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Thank you, Hugh! I did not even think of that but now that you mention it, it is the perfect example of spreading uncertainty and fear and using it as a weapon to control people! I did not experience it over here but what I heard the politicians made it to divide the country. This is exactly what needs to be realized. But how difficult is it when there are people who want information but the ones they get is even more confusing!
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It was very confusing for many voters, Erika. Many voted not really knowing exactly what they were voting for. Neither side really said anything good and truthful about what would happen if they won. Even today, the UK is very divided over Europe.
I recently watched the movie 2012. In it, there was a scene where a spokesman for the government was saying that everything was fine. “It’s just an actor telling you what you want to hear, but it’s all lies.” were the words of one character. Nobody believed him, but his words were so true. Then the world started falling apart.
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This is true!!! In the end both sides don’t do themselves a favor but sadly that is only recognized when the sh** already happened!
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This is a great post and I agree with what you’ve said here. There is never an excuse for violence or bad behavior, but there are reasons behind it. Lack of love and respect for others, from others and for ourselves is the number one key. If only everyone could turn from their negative ways and defensive mindsets and learn to show… and then *accept* the love that is shown to them. I wonder though if some people are too far off the path to be reached through love. Stubbornness and pride are hard things to overcome.
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You say it: stubbornness and pride! Mostly that is caused by violence against themselves – mentally and/or physically! Will some ever listen? I don’t know, maybe not! But we must never allow to those “some” to interrupt our mission. There are so many thinking like you and I…. it is possible!
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You are right about that. If we each do our part, then we can impact so many people. One move is all it takes to cause a domino affect.
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That is exactly the point! In the end, if everybody just acts like this in their own little world the big world looked different immediatly! Thank you very much 💖
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Thanks for a thoughtful post. Mostly I agree with you Erika. We certainly need to feed the love in ourselves and what we offer to the world, especially those who do harmful things driven by their own pain/ fear/ etc. The challenge is to be so compassionate as to want to help those people. A challenging task for me and those who wish to spread peace and love.
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It is such a challenge. Right because any acts of violence are breaking our hearts and of course, our thoughts and love goe with the victims first. Definitely a challenge to keep reminding ourselves that only love leads to love. And if it is too challenging then we should rather not react at all before we join the attitude of the offenders. But how wonderful to be aware of the challenge. That means we definitely know the difference. Thank you for that impulse!
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It’s a nice ideal to aim for. 🙂
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Wonderful that you think so too. Thank you, Freedom Writer!
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Thanks Erika.
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You are welcome 😊
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This post is really good, Erika. You have described it so well, what is going on in our world and how to handle it. Love is the way, no matter it also hit ourselves sometimes.
We need to spread the love best possible, also to the souls, as are most difficult.
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Thank you very much, Irene! I absolutely see it that way and it is amazing to see how many do so too. That convinces me that we can make it towards so much more love and peace in this world. There will always be the ones who go a different way for whatever reason. But as long as the others are keeping up the path of love we are heading towards a better world. The tougher the situation is the stronger we must hold each other’s hands 💖
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❤
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yeah…why can’t we all just get along? this is the 21st century!
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You say it! We should finally be far enough to learn from history and make it better. Thank you from my heart for this comment 💖
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Reblogged this on A Momma's View and commented:
Nothing more to add to this! I was waiting for this post for a couple of days now as I knew Erika was working on it. I think it’s exceptional!
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Thank you so very much for sharing, Sandra! Your support means a lot to me 💖
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I was waiting for this post and I knew it would be good. This is though an extremely high level of good, Erika! It just blew me away! Well said!
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I am so so happy that you think and feel that way about it. I was a bit nervous to post it because it is a major subject and I don’t want to hurt or offend anyone. But then again I am convinced that there is only one way to peace I am convinced of and I won’t hide it! Thank you so very much, Sandra! 💖
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How would you possibly offend anyone with a post like this. The post in itself screams kindness and love, acceptance and tolerance. Well done!
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You are absolutely right, thank you so very much! 💖💖
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Wonderful post Erika! Yes only love can generate love so very true!
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It heals the world….. and before, it heals ourselves!
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yes so true x
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💖💖💖
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Martin Luther King Jr. was a brilliant and insightful man. He is so terribly missed, the voice of reason quieted and now we are being bombarded with hateful rhetoric, racism (from all sides) misogyny, belligerence. I am looking for the light at the end of the tunnel and hoping for it to appear soon. Thank you for this wonderful post Erika. ❤
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Thank you for this deeply heartfelt comment, Holly! I feel your bleeding heart. We need exactly that energy to stick with the good. No matter how many bad things still happen. We need to stick with love – like Gandhi, Mother Theresa, Martin Luther King jr., and mand others did it before. Their efforts mustn’t be in vain and that is why we have to hang in and walk the path they started – together, hand in hand! Thank you so much, Holly. Your comment moved me deeply 💖
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❤
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Oh Erika. What a brilliant and heartfelt post. 😃
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Thank you from my heart, Kris! This is definitely a topic that has always touched me from a very young age on. I cannot see people treated unfairly. I don’t want anyone to be made believe that they are second class – nobody! But crying about it or fighting back is not helping. We need to be what what we want to see. So many great spiritual leaders already showed us the direction. We only need to walk it – hand in hand!
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A very important article Erika! Thank you for having the courage to write it. It is well thought out, and extremely well written. You should get an award for this! In fact I’m starting one right now, called the Healer’s Award, which is given to writers that bring about healing and reconciliation. You are the first recipient. Peace to you my friend – and rich blessings. And congratulations!
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You know what touched me the most about your comment? That you the courage I needed to post this. It is so very delicate and I did not want to hurt or offend anyone. Receiving a comment like yours confirms and motivates me immensely in what I do. Thank you so very much…. and now to that huge surprise: Do you have an idea what an honor it is to me to get such an award from a soulful person like you? This is definitely the most meaningful award I ever received because it meets the core of what I see as my goal: healing in every possible way! Only that you thought about me already touches me deeply. Thank you so so much, Nicodemas. Blessings and love to you 💖
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Thank you Erika, I am humbled by your words. You deserve recognition for your work. I am posting the Award this evening. Peace to you and every good blessing.
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Really, I am overwhelmed that such an honor goes to little me. Thank you you much! I will take a look as soon as I can. Feel strongly hugged, Nicodemas!
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Awesome!
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Thank you again – so very much! Blessings to you, dear friend!
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Wonderful post, Erika. I believe hate is taught, it doesn’t just happen. Love is so much easier to cultivate…
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I believe so too! No child hates… it develops it! Thank you so very much, Dorinda! Let’s teach love as much as we can! 💖
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I thought long and hard but I can’t think of anything to add to this because you SAID IT ALL! You covered every aspect of this topic ,wonderfully and poignantly so ! I just couldn’t agree more Erika. And I know I’ve said it before when we were discussing something along the same lines but I love this line you said that the ones who seem least deserving, are the ones who deserve most love ! A great thought provoking article, you never fail to amaze us with your insightful writings Erika ❤️
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You pointed to the essence in your comment, Zee! That was that key line which provoked this post: “the ones who seem least deserving, are the ones who deserve most love”. Our discussion inspired me to write this. Believe me, Zee, it turned out as one of the most meaningful posts to myself. Because the topic of racism or any pre-judged or unfair treatment is striking a chord strongly within me. So thank you for having that talk in order to make me write this, Zee! You ARE such an important and inspiring light and I hope you see and feel it 💖
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Awh you are too kind Erika. I might have elicited an idea in your head but this piece of writing was all you ! You are an amazing writer but more so a deep thoughtful soul who sees and feels things beyond just the surface. I’m honoured that something I said was a source of this inspirational post 😊💞
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You are so nice, Zee. I take my inspiration from what I see, hear, feel, experience…. that means, from things around me which is not me. If I only took it from me I would have deleted my blog long ago. Yes, I agree, it needs an open mind and heart to see a bit more than just the surface but the inspiration comes from all of you! Thank you, my dear 😊
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Great thoughts and a really great post, Erika! Love within and sharing that love from within can make a huge difference in this world!
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I believe that feeling and sharing that love from within is the only way to create a persisting difference in this world. It is sad what happens still too often. But it is so wonderful to see how many are spreading even more light at the same time. Thank you very much for your profound words and for being such a light spreader, Sylvester!
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We must continue to spread the message of love and be persistent and consistent to make an impact! You spread that light daily!
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YES, absolutely! We must never stop until we take our last breath. It is awesome that we are so many here who live that conviction! Thank you so very much. You are a great motivator, Syl!
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Yes, a great community of compassionate souls here! Thank you to the master motivator herself!
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Wow, now you have me profoundly humbled ….. gigantic hugs to you, Syl!
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Just speaking the truth.
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I appreciate it so much 😊
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All good 😊
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😊
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Amen! Those thoughts, and those quotes, must never be allowed to die. Our future depends on it.
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I am so happy that you and so many others think like that! Even though it is a hard way but I believe it is the only way. Thank you very much, Colin!
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what a thoughtful post that serves as a great reminder –
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Thank you so very much, Beth! In the end, we all want the same…. living in peace! Thank you for your appreciated comment!
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great stuff…your writing are just best…
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Thank you so much, Amit! Sorry, that it took me so long to reply but for whatever reason I just found your latest comments in my spam folder!
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Such a great piece of writing yet again Erika, and yes I so agree with your points raised here.
We are indoctrinated into our ways of being through the processes of media management and we often react because of past conditioning though our parents and cultural views which have long been past down to us so that what we learn in school is thought to be the norm.. and the truth..
We take on face value what we are told .. Even in bulletins within news coverage, we judge, jump to conclusions without any facts at all, we are like sheep who follow the herd to all bleat the same tune of discontent.
Yet none of us Really know the facts we all go on hearsay ..
And why is it we always think the worst.. Never do we give the benefit of the doubt, we always 9 times out of 10 judge without evidence other than what we have been told.
You are right Erika, we lack self respect, for if we respected and loved ourselves more, we may then be able to love others more..
I am at times so disheartened by the lack of care in our communities, while so many are so ready to pour forth their anger and hatred, Can they not see what they do unto others they are also doing to themselves?
A thought provoking post and I am pleased you posted it.. Yes we need to heal the cause, and we all of us need to look within the mirror at our own actions, for they in turn cause the reactions. xxx
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Oh, my dear Sue! Thank you so very much for this heartfelt comment. I totally feel how this subjects is mving your heart. Thank you for taking the time and leaving such profound statements and thoughts.
I agree so much with you: How is it possible that people don’t see how they harm themselves in harming others. And it is so true that we reflexively judge. It is only important to ask ourselves back immediately in order to get aware of it! Only that way we can get rid of our programming step by step and discover the false pattern! Thank you so very much, Sue! I appreciate your words so much!
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Always you are welcome.. And I wish more could see the programming we have all been subjected too. 🙂 ❤
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I think more and more do, most of all when we all keep up spreading the message. I am happy to be here surrounded by so much awareness, Sue 💖
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Yes I hope it is filtering through to those who are still yawning 😉 as they themselves begin to wake up 🙂
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We are all on a journey, aren’t we?
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Yes each to learn from each other.. 🙂 good or bad.. Light and Dark.. One can not experience one without there being the other.. ❤ and each dark moment I have experienced has pivoted me to the light!.. ❤
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Exactly, we are all walking a different roads but then again towards the same goal. The dark moments are giving us the biggest insights, for sure… 💖
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Erika, beginning and closing with MLK quotes resonates. Violence solves little. We must stop judging these situations as a zero sum game, where one sides wins and one side loses. A great comment from a mixed race rapper the other day said it all. It is OK to be concerned for black lives who are prejudged as a threat. It is OK to feel for the families who lost a loved one. It is also OK to grieve for the police officers’ families who lose a loved one. We should also seek to maintain and rebuild our communities. Keith
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God, this is so true what you said here, Keith! Also in aur grief we are the same again. All colors are grieving. You said it: We must stop this zero sum game. You said such profound things here and I am very thankful for that, Keith! I don’t believe that it is naive to believe in love. I see it time and time again as the solution and end resulat and it feels so doable – even though it is a long way to go. Thank you very much for your wonderful comment!
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Not only will hate not accomplish anything positive, if will debilitate the hater.
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Exactly! Hate is devastating! The ones who love will always have the longer breath. The ones who hate will eliminate themselves over time.
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Any violence and unfair treatment of people (and animals) breaks my heart, too.
John the Apostle wrote, “Perfect love drives out fear.” I’m guessing the converse is also true: Perfect fear drives out love.
Earlier in the same chapter John wrote, “Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.”
Perhaps part of the solution is getting to know God.
I felt the love in your post Erika. Thank you for taking the time to write it. ❤
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Yes, Julie, God is love. That is a wonderful quote you left here from John the Apostle and it says it all. Also the ones who don’t feel the love are coming from God. The problem is that they can’t see it which makes them believe that they are separated from God. They feel lost and isolated. The only thing that can heal or make them see is ….. again love.
Thank you so very much, Julie! It means so much to me that you left such profound words here. Thank you too for taking the time. Huge hugs to you 💖
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So many Greats have walked this Earth speaking truth about Love yet the deaf still don’t hear. Who are we to even think those deaf ears will now hear? It gets daunting after a while, Erika, to keep on Walking and Talking Love yet even those close to us don’t understand. Love begins with self, this I do know. No matter how difficult or how treacherous I will not be deterred in knowing Love is the Way, Peace is Life, Truth we are all One. All alive should be reading this post today! Bless you for posting this!! ❤
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I needed a lot of courage to post this to be honest. But anyway, the only way to love leads over love. Yes, even though the deaf won’t ever hear we mustn’t make our path depending on them. One day the deaf are not anymore. But those who hear will remain.
Thank you so much for leaving such insightful words, Amy! That means a lot to me!!! 💖
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When we dare to speak on subjects that raise the emotions in others, yes it does take courage, Erika, to do so. I applaud you. I used to literally dive into my bed, pull the covers over my head, and shake when I first began to post my “wisdom sayings”. I don’t anymore, but when I hit the more sensitive subjects, yes it takes courage to hit that publish button. (((HUGS))) ❤
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I am glad I did! Who was possible to send out impulses for something better? Only the ones who dared to say what they believed in…. like Martin Luther King jr.
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AMEN!! ❤
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Well done!!
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Thank you very much. I appreciate your that a lot!
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Great piece sis 😊
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Thank you, Sis! It is a very delicate subject. I am aware of it. But it is even more important to walk towards the light and not joining in the darkness!
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Definitely 😊😊😊
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🌞💖
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Thanks for sharing these great quotes…
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Thank you so very much 😊
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My pleasure….
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😊
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