When Demons leave!

Were you ever in a great and happy mood and then out of the blue you were flushed by feelings that caused a deep sadness? And you don’t even know why? That happened to me last Friday. We had great weather, I was happy and cheerful and all of a sudden I had a song in mind which I did not hear for years. I love that song a lot but while I started singing it a heavy desperation kicked in and I didn’t know why.

Deep feelings of regret rose up like boiling milk and I couldn’t do anything about it. It was like a film that played within me. I saw all the people I hurt in the past. Years back I thought it was about those people, but it wasn’t. It was my unhappiness about the injuries I experienced during decades. I saw myself receiving offending and humiliations. I saw me storing them inside of me because I found no way to leave them in the outside world. I hid them one by one and years over years. Whenever later a situation came up which triggered one of those suppressed frustrations I reacted defensively. I felt neglected and repulsed. That made me develop an attitude of desperately and aggressively trying to make me seen and to have my needs met. I put people in charge of my missing self-esteem, of feeling not respected, feeling helpless, and for the emptiness within me. I fought people who did not have anything to do with the origin of this behavior. I fought people who loved me, people I were in charge of, people who were there for me unconditionally. But my deeply hurt inner child simply called for being heard which the grown-up me did not recognize and therefore blamed the person in front of me. This all coming down on me in an instant made me cry heavily – but also very peacefully. Everything seemed to liquefy. It was not pain but more like this comforting feeling of being hugged and allowed to finally let everything go, even the slightest grain of sand. It was like pulling the plug and let all the dirty water go until nothing was left anymore.

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Actually, I already have been in peace with that past. I had no resentments against anyone anymore. But the root which caused the feeling of being repulsed still showed up in certain situations. Having this song showing up and me not fighting the tears brought the leftovers up to the surface.It was time to finally let go. I was open and receptive and after this cleansing, I feel healed and whole now in a never known way. It is like losing weight I did not even know I was carrying around.

We are not our thoughts, we are not our emotions, our injuries, wounds, and scars. They are not part of our being. Our being only experiences this all. Otherwise, it wouldn’t be possible to let go. Otherwise, it would not be possible to change our thoughts, our perceptions, and attitudes. Otherwise, development wasn’t possible.

Later I was thinking why that song? Recalling the lyrics all of a sudden I understood. It was like a conversation with my inner child. It was crying for me and I was crying for finally embracing and accepting it as I full-fledged part of myself. I can feel clearly that we are finally one. In the end, this feeling of reuniting, of being whole, of forgiving, and being forgiven was the reason I cried everything out which was standing between us. But at the same time, there is nothing standing between anyone and me anymore.

Why am I telling you this now? Everything will be cleared out when the time has come when you are ready to see and to let go consciously. But most of all when you stop fighting yourself. Fighting, blaming and forcing yourself only results in more fights, more hurting others, and therefore more feelings of guilt which you store again within. That way you yourself stand in your the way. Stop fighting! How can you ever win, when you fight yourself?

When there is something you don’t understand about you then listen to yourself. Accept that there is something that may need some time to slip more and more towards the surface of your mind in order to become sensible and visible. Embrace your inner hurt child, love it, be understanding and tell it that it may tell you from now on everything it had to keep in for so long. Open up to your inner child, let it cry. This is not a sign of weakness. It is a sign of healing! In becoming one with your inner child the demons of the past lose their living space.

In Love and Light!

About the Author

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Author, Poetess, Singer, Mom, Life Explorer, Business Woman, Therapist Remember who you really are and conquer the world the way you always wanted!

63 Comments

OH wow! So this is the Monday post! Wow! I feel that all the way to the marrow! I reblogged it and now I’m commenting. I’ve been working on this as you know. Just uncovering all the un-truths. I love the way you put things. We can release all that now. I am experiencing some deep healing. It’s been amazing and I love your book and all that you write! You make me think! I love that song! I’m played it while I read. Wonderful post! Bravo! 😀

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It was simply meant to be. The time had come and I am so happy I was given the opportunity to sit and type it all together right after it happened for that post. We all go through this, we all have those mean demons which are hiding in our corners. And we all walk a path together with them which results in letting them go.

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Woohoo!!! Thank you! That’s awesome! I will check your post as soon as possible and of course I accept! Thank you so much again. Believe it or not, this comment went into the spam folder… I am so glad I just checked it… crazy!

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What has gone, has gone. But sometimes not everything has gone. And that’s what we still experience. But we encounter lots of situations and people which trigger what is left in order to get ready for letting that go too one day… It is a huge process and after we feel relief about one thing the next is already standing in line … lol

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Erika, this post touched me so deeply. I am in awe of your honesty and I really applaud you for it. Your words have really helped me with a situation in my Life, and in so doing, I with Intention, send those words to one who truly is in need of understanding the root of anger. Your words are if a SIGN from the Heavens alighted softly upon my weary shoulder, to bring HOPE to me that what I have Intention will BE. Bless you, my friend. Love, Amy ❤

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Amy, your feedback is such a gift for me. That’s right why I wrote about it. We all are experiencing this at times: the inner fight but also the relief. But it is so difficult to understand and therefore people barely talk about it. I am so very glad, Amy, that it is of such a good use for you. I couldn’t be any happier about it. Big hugs and much love to you, Amy!

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Yes I too as well can relate, Erika. knowing I still have “roots” within me, I must be very aware of how and when they are released. I am the “hub” that keeps the Peace within this house, and when I am off, all is off around me. So I do my releasing mostly alone while with Mother. I do not force the issue …. it happens when it does. Your words are deeply within my BEing, my friend, for both the one I speak of and for myself. I really really am so grateful to you. ❤

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I love how you learned to try going with the flow and how you found ways to let go when you can’t. Absolutely right: it happens when it does… as unexpected as can be. As long as we are fighting that feeling we are pushing it back instead of looking outwards and letting it go. But also the fighting is part of the process. In the end everything helps us to let go. Thank you for your wonderful words, Amy 💖

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What a wonderful and thought-provoking post. I can relate to this in so many ways. I have often felt like this.

“Open up to your inner child, let it cry. This is not a sign of weakness. It is a sign of healing! In becoming one with your inner child the demons of the past lose their living space.” – We all need to let our inner demons go from time to time and let ourselves heal.

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It is the greatest relief, isn’t it? This feeling of getting lighter while just let the healing happen. We mostly don’t even know what it is that’s bothering us or where the connection is. That makes it so difficult to give the inner tensions or reactions a name in order to send it away. Thank you, Amanda, for you comment. You went through a lot and you are very sensitive. You look far behind the surface and that’s what makes your comments of such a value for me.

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