Lately, I read this quote on Instagram, and it hit home hard. It confirmed the insight I got after I was offered a job with similar tasks like my fomer job which I tried to avoid. I understood that I cannot find peace in avoiding them but in opening up to them and life led me again to that point again to understand and dissolve the issue eventually. You can read about it here.
It is easy to hide behind “I can’t” when we don’t feel like doing something or are even afraid. But that can throw us into a vicious circle. We talk ourselves into something we can’t, although we could. Maybe others told us we were not smart enough or not worthy. Maybe there was more expected from us than we could give, or we expected too much from ourselves. It can put immense pressure on one and lead to overwhelming situations. To avoid pressure, we hide behind “I can’t” – and resign. The more we resist and think “I can’t”, the more we begin to believe it. The more we believe it, the more we block ourselves from the motivation to try it. The less we try, the less we learn, and the more we lose contact with the matter. The insecurity and fear grow. And we are even more convinced that “I can’t”. That way, we deny and destroy a part of our potential – only because we decided to think so. What a misconception!
We only need to repeat a thought a few times, and it begins to sink deeper like a considerable truth. The next step is to find confirmations for that thought, which we will always find. After a while, we genuinely believe what started as a protective thought to escape the fear. But we forget that initial reason and live in our distorted truth. Do we know how many misunderstandings live within us? I don’t think we can. As long as we are unaware that we use excuses, we won’t recognize them. We could leave our prison but hold on tight to its bars. And the funny thing is that we are doing this from outside the prison cell. First, we build our prison. Later, we learn to break out of it again. We are our own teachers, and life provides the lessons.
Through the awareness that our convictions about our abilities are only thoughts but not given facts, we can look at them with a distanced view. Why do we think we can’t? Did others tell us? Did we tell ourselves? Since when do we believe we can’t? What did we believe before, and what happened that we changed our beliefs? In the end, it doesn’t matter what the origin was. What does matter is the insight we receive that this belief is only a destructive thought pattern. Don’t take them as something set and unchangeable. Every thought pattern is changeable. If someone says it isn’t, it is only another excuse.
We must not let anyone put us in a prison cell, even less should we put ourselves in it. Whenever we are automatically trying to find a way to avoid something, let us take a moment and think WHY this resistance makes us think “I can’t”. If we come to the conclusion that we are only running from our fears and expectations, the answer can only be:
I’ll learn!
In Love and Light
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I became for years an expert at excuse finding.
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High Five on that, Gary! I still fall into that trap but I realize it sooner and sooner… which means, I don’t have an excuse anymore and have to get on my feet again.
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Love this! ❤️
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💖
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I think in the beginning our ‘can’t’ is passed on by those around us. How we are brought up by ‘others’ fears to which a way of being becomes entrenched in our approaches to many things…hence those fears we take on become our restrictions in life.
Of course as time goes by we do ‘test’ so many things and even surprise ourselves in what we thought we couldn’t do…but do. To see that surprised face light up when they go beyond what they thought they were. I have met that surprise on many occasions 🤣
Great post Erika, we are our own restrictor’s but I think they all have a purpose so that we can see what your post says…that we are our only road blocks in life, and do we dare to go beyond them and finally become that love that has no restrictions, that unconditional love awaiting us. Thank you for your unrestricted share kind lady 🤗❤️🙏
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That sounds very logical what you say. I believe so too. Our believs in the very beginning are small steps into the world. We are not afraid of anyhting until we are told that there is something to be afraid of. That is what we carry along and add our own interpretations of what we see and experience.
Perhaps we simply want to make the experience that we can go beyond fear. So we need to be taught to be fearful in order to experience the opposite. YES, there is a purpose in it, I truly believe so. We want to experience us and remember who we are and the power we have. That’s we we need feel free, lose that freedom, and gain it again to really understand what freedom is! That’s why we chose to come into a world of oppositions.
Thank you very much, Mark, that was a wonderful inspiration again and reminded me of our own need to “see” ourselves again through a physical lifetime. 💖
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Thank you Erika. And thank you for always daring us to go beyond them here 🤗❤️🙏
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That’s mutual, Mark 😊🙏💖
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“I Can’t” should not even be in our vocabulary. Everything is worth a try and when “I can’t” should begin to cross our minds, we should stop it in its tracks and replace it immediately. Learning is always an option.
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Right! Everything is possible for the one who believes and works on the realization actively. That’s why I have always loved the second quote. If something really means something to you, you won’t give in, not even when big rocks block the road. You will find a way to pass them.
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Yes, believe and back up your believing with forward motion. Never lose hope. Big road blocks crumble just like small road blocks.
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My father was an amazing role model of this concept. He was, by profession, a scenic artist for a theatre company (he designed and painted the scenery for various shows).
One evening, I overheard him and my Mum having a conversation about our living arrangements and I shall never forget “If we are ever going to have our own home, I’m going to have to build the damn thing myself.” He did! He brought many books home from the local library; chatted with local builders frequently; checked out all the local construction projects whenever he had the chance, and became friends with the local building inspectors.
Over the course of 3 years, and in his spare time, he built our first brick home (and became quite the celebrity in our community). Our home was a fairly basic bungalow however, my Dad’s reaction upon building completion was “Pretty good for a first time builder, but the next one will be more appealing visually” (and it was, with a very prominent external brick chimney which was “the fashion” in the 1960s.).
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Wow, a role model indeed! He had a vision, a dream, made a plan, and started to get there step by step. He was solution oriented and the fire for his vision was burning high. In such moments we truly believe we can and have the motivation to prove it to ourselves. I can only imagine how much that house must have meant to him. It was truly HIS house!
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Yes …………. and he hired my older sister and I to help out as appropriate. Our weekly pocket-money was increased proportionately and, while my Dad was usually at the theatre in the evenings, our Mum often stretched our bedtimes a little so we could finish our allotted work! So many lessons learned by so many people!
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So that is quite a lesson plus you and your sister could also be proud of what you achieved. Must have been a great feeling to live in the house you helped building.
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you are so right, and I really can identlfy with this. great advice. and I’ve learned that we can learn and should never sell ourselves short, and it can be a huge challenge at times, we can be our own worst critics
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That’s such an important discovery: it is not the others, it is ouselves that stop us or move us forward, Nothing is impossible unless we believe so. Thank you very much for sharing your thoughts, Beth 💖
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This is such a strong post, Erika. We can convince ourselves of anything, so why not convince ourselves we CAN? 🙂 The mind is powerful, whichever way we choose to use it. Thank you for sharing!
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Yes, exactly, exactly! Why are we better in putting us down than lifting us up? There are explanations but however, it is in our own decision! Let’s use the power of our minds to create ourselves good feelings to achieve and receive good things. Thanks for this input, dear Jan💖
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Another wonderful piece of advice.. Funny as I was just listening to the latest of Gregg Braden’s YouTube videos on his site this morning.. And it echoed that podcast..
I was in fact lucky in that my Dad would always say to me when growing up.. ” There is no such word as Can’t”…. So I would always try my best at what ever.. Which has meant I will try my best at different skills and projects and while I may not be good at them all, I give them a go.
Gregg Braden in this mornings podcast, as he narrated when asked by one interviewer.. What did he remember as his failures… He said he said to the surprise of the interviewer.. That he didn’t class himself as failing at anything.. For his perception looked at things as doing ones best ..
He said had his expectations of the outcomes not come out as he expected, he said yes, in some instances it had… But he had given 100% of his focus and intention to those projects… So they had not been failures, he had given it his best, it was how we viewed them to be, and how society and our thought processes had been influenced to be either a success or failure, which colours our ideas of failure and success.. He said he was a constant Student of learning!!… Synchronicity or what, … 🙂
Just like you said Erika, when we are told from a young age we can’t do this or that, and we put limits upon ourselves…
I am constantly learning… 🙂 Thank you for your insights dear friend xx ❤
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Oh, that is a great perspective. Indeed, first and foremost, it is our expectations we might not reach as planned (or desired by others). But we achieved something anyway when even something different. I like that view a lot. I always said, you don’t fail, you gain experience. But seeing it the way, Braden put it, even adds meaning to that.
That’s right, we were told what is right and what worng, how things work, and how they don’t. So we are brain-washed when it comes to viewing our achievements from a judgmental free point, seeing what we achieved by looking back where we started.
Thanks a lot for sharing this, Sue 💖
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Thank Gregg lol. What he said stuck with me xx 😘
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Timely words, as it seems! 💖
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I completely agree with you, Erica, but it sometimes need a lot of energy!
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It definitely does, Martina! It is quite a journey with a lot of bloody noses, wounded knees, and broken hearts to get there. But once you reach that forst spot of the insight, you are amazed by the loving guidance that leads you closer to yourself 💖
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👏🌹
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You are amazingly able to know what has been going through my mind… I was thinking this morning that I learned how to become good at being a person needing care, therefore I am NOW (and have been actually) learning to become better at SELF CARE! ❤
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Isn’t it amazing how we get these little pieces bit by bit and all of a sudden a bigger thought appears from them? It seems we are on a similar path when even coming from different directions with different signposts, but the sinchronicity is amazing indeed! 💖
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