I dare to claim that we basically all agree that hope is a necessary tool not to give in but to hang in, not to resign but to stay in motion, to make it over hardships and through difficult circumstances where we don’t have any control. Lately, I stumbled over a different perspective on hope that made me think.
Can hope also be a blockage? Here is an example: Your spouse broke up with you, but you still hope they change their mind and come back to you. Every word or action of them you transform in your head into something that proves your hope. If you call them and they pick up the phone, you think that is a sign. If you ask them for a favor and they do it, you see it as a sign. You create a bubble and inside that bubble, a parallel reality, denying to look at the situation with a distanced mind. Maybe one day, you see the beloved person with someone else walking hand in hand, and your world turns upside down. The bubble bursts, and you completely lose ground. Now “all hope is gone” because the situation has not developed in your desired direction. And that is the big misunderstanding.
Yes, the hope that one day, “all will be well again” is entirely justified. That is the healthy and empowering hope. But, if “all will be well” is connected to one specific outcome then hope turns into an obsession. You only look at that one result you cannot let go. At the same time, you overlook everyone next to you or maybe a dream job that is waiting for you. Maybe you even push everyone and everything away that dares to come a bit closer or cares for you, and that may keep you from holding on to your “hope”. You are blind to the developments and opportunities that pass you by. You can spend a lifetime “hoping” but stay alone because you ignored all the encounters and opportunities that only appeared because your spouse broke up with you. It is like following a dream. We need to stay flexible. One incident is the trigger for new developments that only appear because we stay open to those developments. Get inspired by life and change your direction as you feel. Simply never stop walking and looking forward.
Hope is not clinging to particular outcomes.
It is believing in a better tomorrow, whatever the outcome.
The horizon leads you, not yesterday’s disappointments.
Let hope make you stronger not block you from life.
In Love and Light
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Thing about hope is that we need that more in the dark times. But like everything else, it needs nurturing, tending and protecting. It doesn’t come easy.
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That’s right, we need to have something be believe in. Otherwise, hope has no ground to stand on. And then we still need to be open for options and don’t bury ourselves in one single result which would kill any hope if that particular result does not happen.
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Great tipps how to deal with hope. xx Michael
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Or how hope can trick you!
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Hope for the best
Prepare for the worst
An easy rule to live by!
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That’s a good advice!
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Thank you for the wind beneath my wings today! ❤
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I am very happy t hear that, Annette 💖
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Hope is definitely now clinging to a specific or desired outcome. This can only lead to dilution or disillusionment. There is always the possibility of something better coming into play. Have a great week ahead, Erika 🌞
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Yes, totally agree. When hope becomes an obsession, we lose its power of propelling us forward, instead, we get stuck.
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We cannot allow hope to become like mud.
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Your thought is very interesting, Erika, and I agree with your last sentence!
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I think everybody has an idea what hope means for them. Whatever it is, it shall motivate and mobilize us in a good way. Thank you, Martina!
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“Hope” can be very tricky because if all we have is hope, then it would suggest that our hope is dependent on something other than ourselves i.e. We can hope to be out of debt; we can hope for a better paying job; we can hope for a fulfilling relationship; we can hope to be much happier etc. etc., but if we don’t do anything about achieving such goals …….. then where are we?
While I believe that it is critically important to have goals/aspirations, it is also critically important take charge of one’s life and develop a plan that will lead towards achieving such goals/aspirations.
I used to coach long distance running, and one perspective from back then was simply that “A goal cannot be achieved unless there is an appropriate plan in place” To achieve any goal, there has to be plan. Not only does a plan allow you to make progress towards a goal, but can also provide “progress markers” which can further inspire to achieve such goal.
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I totally second your comment, Colin! That is one side of hope that I always considered as misunderstanding “hope”. Sitting there and hoping for better times won’t change anything. Whatever we want we have to take steps towards it. Otherwise, we will remain hoping.
Hope can be such a nice excuse for pretending to be a victim of the circumstances. We never are!
Yes, absolutely, in taking steps to achieve a goal you experience many small successes in between which motivate you for more AND which take you to opportunities and people that even support and co-work on your goal. It is like a snowball you throw done a snowy hill. with every turn, it grows and becomes faster.
Thanks for taking the time and leaving a comment, Colin!
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That is a very interesting thing you speak of Erika, our hopes. I wonder what would have happened if Einstein didn’t lock in his hope, or the Wright brothers. Or me…in stepping into my truth.
Mind you, my other hope of winning the Lottery is seemingly laying in tatters 🤣 So in that you are right, that intent behind it can be built on feathers or bricks, dreams or reality.
And just to test it a little further, I know a gentleman who is seriously a very pure narcissist, takes, manipulates, selfishly a me, me, me person. But everything seems to fall into his lap anyway, which keeps his ‘hopes’ going but with such a distorted intent that I can only shake my head.
Bubbles tend to burst…but in truth I feel very sad for him. Where can he find his truth if all seemingly feeds a distorted view…but…who am I to know what may be about to visit him, and balance that load.
Great post dear lady, your heart writes from that place, your intent in your hope has been balanced well 😀❤️🙏
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I agree with your observation. Good point! But how can we know why he is the way he is and acts the way he acts? Maybe he is one of those who show us clearly who we never want to be. But regarding hope, it seems, he uses the tool of hope very well. It is only the intention behind it that does not work for many others, sadly.
Hope can also be misunderstood as being insecure that something will happen. So, other than believing, hope is this last weak spark left from a belief that can ignite the fire of faith again. So, maybe that gentleman doesn’t even hope but is very strong believing in his plans.
Thank you very much, Mark!
Oh, and would you allow me to borrow your words for a future quote: “That intent behind hope can be built on feathers or bricks, dreams or reality.” (exchanged the word “it” for “hope” for a better understanding in a quote)
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You most certainly can Erika. And you are right, he is no doubt on the journey he is attracting so that he can see in his own time and place. The amazing part was that I can ‘feel’ that he knows what he is doing, but can’t let go and go beyond it (like us all initially because of our fears). His life was a horror, treated exactly like he is now treating others. I would love to hear his hopes…his real hopes. Great post Erika, may our intent of love be the creator of a great hope in us all 😀❤️🙏
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I think I understand well, what you mean. You can read him. Maybe acting like he was treated feels like a protection to him because that way those others were strong while he was weak. It may be his journey to go beyond that misunderstanding by experiencing both sides. It is like the victim often times becomes the bully but will learn soon that the bully is actually weaker than the victim.
Yes. Mark, let’s let love create … not more 💖
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