Maybe you know this. You have a plan that is still in your drawer or a dream that nudges you from time to time. Although the idea of living that dream brings you joy, the thought of realizing it brings you back down to earth. The reasons can be money, circumstances, self-doubt, or fear in various forms.

The funny thing is that what we want the most also scares us the most when we think of it coming true. Because we know that it involves partly dramatic changes and a lot of unknown factors. Yes, fear is actually the major and most tenacious obstacle that stands in the way. Those fears can lead to excuses for explaining why it cannot be done. Because the origin of those fears is another fear: the fear of not taking responsibility for ourselves. So, we need to find someone or something to blame because it must not be our fault.

But sometimes, we are not even aware that we are making excuses. It took me almost 40 years to understand that I am the master of my life. I was so used to conforming, to walk the path I was told would be the right one. I was so trained to follow family traditions that I did not even consider I was allowed to break out of the life I was living. The foundation was the fear of being questioned since I was unable to stand tall through such conversations. When you have almost no self-esteem, it is not easy to face them. Often, I looked jealously towards those who seemed to go for their visions lightheartedly, untroubled, and successfully. They just do it. They are strong, they are straight, and they don’t fear discussions (or even provoke them). They can do it, because they are that way, and I am not.

It took me 39 years to realize that no one can do anything about it if I think differently, talk differently, have a different opinion, and do something in a way no one in the family has ever done before. I understood that my life is my choice since I am the one who is dealing with the consequences. So, why deal with consequences that are not even my choice? That moment was THE turning point in my life. Understanding this on such a deep level, seeing that I lived a misunderstanding for all my life, resulted in another big step in overcoming my fears: I shared this insight in a book. I was not telling a fictional story; I was talking about deep insights that often you cannot even prove. Nevertheless, I did it. So, on the one hand, I achieved my dream to publish a book, and on the other hand, I overcame my fear of sharing my point of view, regardless of what others may think of it. From that moment on, I promised myself that whatever makes me find excuses for not doing it, I will go for it. Because what I fear is something that is not in alignment with my being.

I don’t want to say that everything needs to be done that someone fears. For example, I cannot imagine ever going paragliding or jumping out of a plane with a parachute on my back. I am too afraid. But those have never been a dream of mine. I fear it, but I don’t care.

There is a saying: “Do one thing every day that makes you happy.” There is another one: “Do one thing every day that scares you.” Both go along so well with each other because if you step over your fear and do something that scared you, it gives you freedom. It makes you proud of yourself and builds up your knowledge and self-esteem that you can become or achieve everything you want. So, if you do one thing every day that scares you, it will make you happy.

Never forget: Don’t fight your fears – overcome them.

In Love and Light