… Then Skip it With Love

It’s that time again when I find myself starting to judge. We all have our little problems like “what am I wearing for that event”; “what am I cooking tonight”; “I broke my nail”; “I have a bruise on my knee”… What information is really important to share with the world constantly over the patient internet? At some point, the moment comes when I think to myself: Does the world have no other problems? And that’s exactly when I bring myself back.

There are definitely more important things for me and probably for the majority of humanity. But for someone, it is particularly important to share what their pup ate this morning. Perhaps it is precisely here that we realize how empathetic and tolerant we really are. If one smiles at something that means the world to another person, then that is an arrogance that already points to something. If then they even start to get angry about it, they should seriously question what is behind that reaction. What is worrying is not how and why others put themselves, their lives, or their interests in the center, but how I react to it.

Is it envy? Is it insecurity? Is it a character trait one would like to have? Is it dissatisfaction that one doesn’t have the time to share their lives constantly in this way? Is it boredom because one is already past many of those shared experiences? Whatever it is, if it triggers negative reactions in someone, they need to look closer. Since no one got harmed, it is a personal thing to clarify. Otherwise, there would be no or a positive reaction.

We never know what is behind that seemingly redundant information. It can be loneliness, low self-esteem, a newly discovered content in life after hardships, … or even the same inner tensions as we may react to it: envy, dissatisfaction, a missing character trait, or a completely new experience. We have this inner navigation system that alarms quickly through inner tensions. This way, I can check and adjust the frequency promptly. Because who am I to define what is important and what is not? It is none of my business.

Today’s topic may sound a bit ridiculous to some, but it can be the trigger for a broader reaction. It’s important to recognize this early on, before you artificially make life more difficult for yourself than necessary.

If you are not interested
in repeating information you don’t need
then simply skip it.
But skip it with love.

In Love and Light

About the Author

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The purpose of my blog is to inspire and shine a light on the beauty and power of the wonderful being inside your body. You came into this world to share what only you can give. Remember who you really are, conquer the world the way you always wanted to, and become the blessing to us all that you were meant to be.

34 Comments

I always come back to that beautiful thing called love…it will indeed attract to us those very people we need to see something within ourselves. And as you have so beautifully put, the reactions to us from others is speaking to us…until we hear, until we do find us, until its sound no longer ruffles who we are and a response is with love and no longer a ‘reaction’. A lovely post dear lady, touching those parts of us that need to see. Even a questioning song in this world until with self love, it is not 😀 ❤️ 🙏🏽 🦋

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It is my absolute pleasure and joy to do so. I am thankful that I have the possibility to share my words over this blog and even more to get in touch with wonderful people like you!

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Why thank you kind lady. You called to me one day as I went to walk on by. I had been here before…but I wasn’t ready then. Then one day I saw something…and I knew then the student was ready 😀 ❤️ 🙏🏽 🦋

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So true, Jan. When life has us in its claws we can become so superficial and make our own “problems” more important than those of others. But everybody is carrying their backpacks and what looks negligible for one is a heavy burden for someone else.

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Often we are quick to judge or criticize without knowing the backstory and we social media is Pandora’s box, you’ll come across just anything regarding people’s personal lives. If it doesn’t interest you then we walk on by. Everyone has a reason for what they have to contend with.

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We are an interesting species! I will dress a certain way in order to conform to expectations of others (i.e. a formal occasion), but I will not dress “just because” (i.e. just because I want to impress). Conversely however, while I expect others to dress appropriately for (e.g.) a formal occasion, I should not think less of them if they do clearly dress to impress. My rationale is simply that their life history has established their perceived need to impress, and I should respect that.

To offer an exaggerated analogy, an individual abandoned at birth and assaulted repeatedly during their “growing years”, will have a totally different perspective on life to one who has enjoyed loving and nurturing relationships throughout their growing years. The two individuals are going to present themselves quite differently and it is not for me to be critical of either of them, but simply to understand that we are all products of our past.

When a neighbour goes to great lengths to explain to me that the weekly food bill just went up $5.00, I should acknowledge that $5.00 is obviously significant to him, and respect the concern/frustration expressed. I should not minimize or dismiss the issue, as that would show a total lack of understanding. That in turn is almost certainly going to be interpreted negatively ………. and who wants to be the cause of more negativity?

Like so many questions/discussions about life, we keep coming back to Compassion and Understanding!

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Your examples describe it all so well. “My rationale is simply that their life history has established their perceived need to impress, and I should respect that.”. In the end, that’s it… not more, not less. Everybody is the way he or she is because of everything that they went through before. Who am I to judge since I have not been standing in their shoes. I have a good example in one of my sisters who is a style coach. Sadly she judges and criticizes everyone regarding their appearance – she does even when she doesn’t say a word, but you notice. Although I don’t care at all how people are dressed but still, I have to be careful not to judge when I find someone superficial or arrogant… because then I am not a bit better.
Thank you for taking the time and leaving such a detailed comment, Colin.

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Erika, great sayings, each and everyone. It is funny, I just typed yesterday to our British friend Roger these words in response to his more eloquent comment, “Arrogance makes a lousy general.” I think I like the first one the best. Thanks, Keith

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So, that nails it, Keith. Yes, who are we to judge what is important and what is not? Would you allow me to quote your words in case they are your own: Arrogance makes a lousy general?

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