We Don’t Miss What We Never Knew


Before we had smartphones we have not missed them. But today, the phone breaking down can cause big issues in our daily lives. I wrote my first email in 2006. Many asked me how I could live without the internet. I said, how can I miss something which has never been part of my life? But once I had started emailing and using the internet, it comes close to a catastrophe when my laptop dies or the internet gets interrupted. When my sister went for her style coach degree, she interviewed people. One question was about the color yellow and what if it would not be part of our lives. One answer was: We wouldn’t care, because we wouldn’t even know it.

We don’t miss something we’ve never known, we’ve never used, we’ve never had. We miss what we have experience with (even when it was experienced only for a moment). Then again there can be things we have not experienced yet in this lifetime and still, there is a clear picture of it accompanying us.

I consider that this is a memory too. A file in the soul has opened up and reminds us of what we have come here in this lifetime. Or this open file releases a memory of a past life. At least I feel this way when I hear about the lives of the Native Americans and their ways of healing and living in alignment with nature. I believe, it has something to do with a past life which I still hold close to my heart although I can impossibly have experienced it during this lifetime.

We don’t only have the memory of the mind but also the memory of the soul lingering inside. Both may cause longings. Of course, there are new things which attract our attention and make us go for them. But then again, why is it that we react to them, that we recognize them? Can there be more stored inside of us that triggers a memory?

While writing this down it makes sense to me that whatever we miss or whatever we go for is filed somewhere inside. May it be an experience we want to repeat or a task, written on our life’s checklist to be achieved. There may be more memories lingering inside of us than we think…

In Love and Light

About the Author

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The purpose of my blog is to inspire and shine a light on the beauty and power of the wonderful being inside your body. You came into this world to share what only you can give. Remember who you really are, conquer the world the way you always wanted to, and become the blessing to us all that you were meant to be.


Another fascinating and thought-proving post, Erika. There is something I do miss that I never experienced, and that is not having had the chance to have ever met my grandparents (my father’s parents). I recently came across some photos of them together and felt sad that I never had the chance to meet them or for them to have met me. I missed the whole experience of that would have been like. Do you think this is the same as what you say about not missing anything we’ve never experienced or is it a whole different type of missing something? Maybe I was comparing the experience of having been lucky enough to have met my mother’s parents?

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Good point, Hugh. Those are very close and strong feelings from soul to soul. I know that for example Ritu never met her grandparents and regrets that. I don’t know if it is missing them or just like missing the experience to know them (which you actually said).
In your case, I could imagine that since you experienced your mom’s parents you would have loved to meet your father’s parents too. But I am convinced too (and that is my personal belief) that they have accompanied you all your life which makes you feel them. Now looking at the pictures may do trigger a memory and it feels like missing and experiencing them in their physical form… What do you think? In the end, you know the answer by heart. However, your question brings definitly up another facette of this subject.

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It’s interesting what you say about my father’s parents having accompanied me during my life, Erika. I don’t feel that, but I’ve always believed that someone or something is looking over me and guides me into making correct decisions. It’s something I thought about a lot (and I’ve written about it), and I don’t know what it is, but I have a feeling that it is my grandmother (my mother’s mother) who is watching over me. Given that I was her first grandchild, I was told that she always saw me as the ‘special’ one. Of course, she also loved her other grandchildren, but it seems I was her favourite.

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Wow, Hugh, you should have felt the goosebumps I felt while reading your lines. A similar bond has always been between my grandfather (my mom’s father) and me… also the first grandchild, also so special. And I can relate to what you said here. That’s why I mentioned the possibility that your grandpartent’s (father side) may have beein around you. I “konw” that my grandfather has been around my children although he died before they were born. When the spirit is not filtered by the body (mind) anymore the connection can be even stronger. I am happy for you that you have this feeling.

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Erika, I love the Faulkner quote. It reminded me of the following: we may not know why we feel in love, but we remember that we do. We may not know how we became friends, but we remember that we are.

More specifically, Malcolm Gladwell, writes in his best seller, “Blink,” that the subconscious is a compilation of our experiences that we don’t know top of mind. In the book, he uses examples like an art expert knowing in ten seconds a painting is a fraud, but can’t put his finger as to why just yet. A couples counselor knowing in a few minutes whether a couple has a no chance of resolving differences. A fire fighter knowing there is a hidden danger, but can’t say why at first.

The memory has a lot going for it, even if we don’t know it top of mind. Keith

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That’s a great aspect you are adding here, Keith. Indeed, we may have experienced more than we can consciously remember and still it is stored in our subconscious mind. Maybe we can say it is this gut feeling. We sense something is right or wrong for us, if we feel safe or sense some danger but we don’t know why. In the end, we need to follow that feeling, that inner compass because it has more wisdom than the mind can explain. Too often that gut feeling proved us right!
A wonderful point, Keith. Thank you very much!


Extremely insightful post. We can miss that which we have experienced and we can have a feeling attached to a memory of that has yet to happened because we simulate the pre-experience within our mind. There are a lot of mental nuggets to feed on in your post, Erika. Thank you!

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