The human mind is as complex as primitive. We can think something into bits and pieces and talk ourselves into desperation and rage. The same thing happens the other way around. Maybe that goes into the debate of being an optimist or a pessimist. However, the first thought says more about yourself than how you see yourself. What you notice is not a thought but the emotion caused by a thought. We have a comprehensive computer installed that saves each and every piece of information in its data storage. The more unconscious the information slips into the system, the more likely it is put somewhere that fits similar information.Your thoughts cause how you feel about those happenings, created from former experiences. So, if you want to change your experiences and reflexive emotions, you need to change the way you think.

When I began to change my inner construct, I did by observing myself in any situation. I watched everything in the situation, the persons involved, their actions, and my reflexive emotions. Sometimes if I only heard the name of a person, my stomach already cramped. I felt like a prisoner in myself, and I wanted to get rid of emotions that kept me from being who I wanted to be or turned into someone I did not want to be. So, I observed myself for a few days. Then I picked two to three issues I wanted to solve first.

The next step was to keep observing myself when a similar situation appeared. I paused for a moment before I reacted. Then I checked on the responsible thought and simply exchanged it for one that made me feel how I wanted. An example from my life: Wednesday afternoon, the kids were off from school, and at times all three had different activities spread all over the afternoon. Sometimes the times even overlapped from dropping one to picking up another one. Already in the morning, I began to feel stressed because of a hectic afternoon. Driving around all afternoon was lost time for me. I got very impatient and aggressive and put my stress on my kids. So, when I felt that stress coming up, I stepped back and simply thought: “Dedicate this afternoon to your children’s activities with which they have fun. All is well planned, and you only need to take one step at a time.” In making myself aware that I did it for them to make them enjoy their afternoon, my attitude changed. I did not see myself being the center of the happening anymore. It needed a lot of discipline and effort to strictly observe and reprogram my thought system. And you know what? After only two weeks, the reflexive negative and stress-causing thoughts got eliminated. All of them knew in advance that I could be late which removed more pressure. I relaxed and even began to enjoy it myself, took a book along to read when I had to wait, and played music in the car we all enjoyed. I knew that all I had to do was drive. A weekly black spot for all of us turned into a fun time – only because I changed a thought.

Do I have eliminated all the negative emotions in my life? As you can imagine: Not at all! But those that do bother me are instantly under supervision. Meanwhile, it is easier to reprogram my system… out of my experience.

Your emotions are your compass and reveal how you really think. Sometimes we only take ourselves too serious (remember rule number 9?). Some believe the world revolves around themselves and everything they do. Often only observing ourselves already helps to see how we really are. Maybe this humble affirmation helps too:

I am the messenger, not the message.

In Love and Light

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