Everybody has their backpacks to carry. Some people are unpacking freely, every stumble, fall, burden, or point on their agenda while others don’t feel the need to bless the world with the details of their private lives. However, only because someone doesn’t invite the world into their living rooms doesn’t mean their backpack is empty. Not at all!
When new things come into our lives and we are welcoming them, do we at the same time sort something else out to make room? Perhaps some people do. But there is a natural tendency to add the new and focus on how to fit it into the current life-conditions. This goes on until the moment when “the room” is overcrowded and there is almost no way to breathe anymore. It is interesting that the option of setting something aside is not even considered until signs of overwhelm occur. Signs like restlessness, depression, aggression, frustration… followed by physical symptoms.
And here we go: I am one of those who embrace given chances (at least I need to try, right?) without thinking of the possibility to set other things aside. Furthermore, I am not the type of person who wants the world to know when I broke a fingernail or how my turtle breathes during its hibernation. This is not the reason I am on social media. Instead, I want to be a little ray to illuminate spots inside of those who need it to find their way through their own jungle of struggles… inspired by my experiences.
Let’s put both, adding action and an introvert personality, together:
Over the past 3 years, my life changed a lot due to my job situation and turbulences in my private life. Still, I wanted to keep up with what feels meaningful to me (like my therapy practice, my blog, my writing). Although I have my tools, the intensity and the time the negative vibes had to develop have left something. Weeks ago I enjoyed a singing bowl treatment (which I grant myself every 2 to 3 months, it has a fantastic effect on me). When the therapist put the bowl onto my heart chakra, the sound was silenced immediately. She stroke the bowl a few times with the same result. No vibration, completely blocked. I was a little shocked that what I knew but tried to wipe away was presented to me so clearly. It made me rethink my situation and all of a sudden everything transformed into a complete picture and makes so much sense.
I was more focused on finding ways how to make everything work which accumulated. My weekends have become even busier than my workdays. I did not let anything go but to keep the overwhelm at the base and to protect myself, I blocked even more which increased the feeling of being crushed – a viscious circle. I was aware of the signs when even I tried to ignore them (like intolerance, moodiness, stress, sleep disorders, constant restlessness, running out of inspiration …).
This is not who I am and this is not who I want to be!
Realizing this all, signs and hints have been bombarding me since. Posts from our community like Annette’s or Sue’s post confirmed and provided answers. I am still taken away by the clarity of the message. AND I am amazed to remember my own posts like There Is Only Love or No Love or my post from last Monday in which I was talking more to myself than I realized while writing.
I am fully aware that a progressed misbalance in my life has caused big parts of my situation and I have already arranged changes that will come into effect with the beginning of the new year. But after the singing bowl insight, I noticed that I have to take measures even before the change in order to bridge the next 4 weeks.
However, I decided to reduce my time on WordPress for a non-defined time. No, don’t celebrate too enthusiastically. I won’t disappear… lol! I don’t know yet in which way and how frequently I will be posting during the coming weeks. So far, I want to keep up my Daily Kind Quotes. That way I may be able to post more spontaneously with even shorter takes. I want to reconnect with mySelf, empty the trash can, and fill me up with new life and enthusiasm to provide the inspiration I want to spread through my writing.
I am not sharing this because I feel so sorry for myself or because I want anybody to feel sorry for me. I am sharing this again as information for my blogging friends and as an example drawn from life because perhaps there are others out there who feel trapped in a similar situation and who can relate to what I said here. Perhaps it gives them an idea of how to find ways to their solution. As I said, we all have our backpacks to carry whether others do or don’t know. How and when to deal with the content is an individual journey. But for sure, the way is in the heart!
In more Love and Light than ever 💖